It takes Courage to Lead

It takes courage..to be who you are, show up, lead, perform, be present, unvarnished, real and authentic. But you don’t have to do it alone.

This week is the first week I will be out of the country for International Women’s Day.? Normally I would be sending messages to my team, organising events or activities, a photo op to celebrate the best of them all and doing what Abby Wambach describes in her book Wolfpack – showing gratitude and giving credit to those contributed to our success. (For those who have not read this book, please do, in fact listen to Abby on Audible, it’s a powerful ‘rally cry’ and she tells it beautifully.) ?

Abby’s inspiring book has this poem: “Call to the Wolfpack”

If you have a voice, you have influence to spread.

If you have relationships, you have hearts to guide.

If you know young people, you have futures to mould.

If you have privilege, you have power to share.

If you have money, you have support to give.

If you have a ballot, you have policy to shape.

If you have pain, you have empathy to offer,

If you have freedom, you have others to fight for.

If you are alive, you are a leader.“

Copyright: Abby Wambach, publisher Celadon Books

At a time when there are so many articles being written about the DEI backlash and the glacial pace towards equity, it’s no surprise women and other marginalised groups are feeling tired of fighting, dispirited by the concrete ceilings, and frustrated by the rowing back from commitments to equity, inclusion and diversity. Some are (and in a few cases conveniently) moth balling their programs following the ruling by the US Supreme Court last year in the case against Harvard University’s pro-diversity admission’s policy. “Treating people differently because of the color of their skin, even for benign purposes, is unlawful and wrong”. “The Court powerfully reinforced the principle that racial discrimination, no matter the motivation, is invidious and unlawful”: Thirteen Attorney General’s letter to Fortune 100 CEOs dated July 13, 2023.

Some have taken this to mean that they can pull all budgets and investments in DEI, despite clear guidance to the contrary. Diversity, inclusion and social mobility is not unlawful. We can and should continue to support the education, awareness around policies and bias, together with action where illegal unjustified discrimination occurs.

Leaders therefore need to lead. We need to support leaders to overcome fear and lead with courage to create equitable inclusive workplaces, equitable pay and access to opportunity and progression. They also need advice, guidance and continued encouragement to stay the course. We need action all year round not just on IWD, it's deeply frustrating that progress can be measured in inches. It's also leading to anger amongst many campaigners because the pendulum is firmly swinging the other direction.

If you want to know where to start, start with building a culture of Trust.? You can’t buy happiness, enjoy productivity, attract diverse talent, or build high performance with perks, golden handcuffs or beer on Fridays. You can't have inclusion, because no-one trusts you. In one of the many surveys of CEOs, PwC reported that the majority (55% or more) CEOs think that a lack of trust is a threat to their company. But very few have done much to build any programs or taken any steps to do so. Trust is needed, because it leads to safety, safety enables radical candour, hard conversations and human connection. Trust builds empathy, enables compassion and attracts talent from all walks of life because you're trusted as a leader and your brand is trusted.

Some leaders are held back by fear or not knowing where to start. Dr Pippa Grange in her book - Fear Less encourages leaders to build stronger self-awareness, to notice when their own behaviour is the problem. Inconsistency, inauthenticity, and fear-led behaviours sow distrust. Distrust fractures the very foundation of an organisation.

Fear can also hold us back from being who we are truly capable of being – it causes us to act small. It can manifest in many guises - irrelevance, loss of control and fear of ‘not being good enough’ – which prevents us from showing up fully. Perfectionism can also be driven by fear, Dr Grange offers us a greater understanding and recognition that fear can lead to “performative” behaviour ie. pretending to be someone else – sometimes performing your life NOT living it.

Paul J Zak talks about how neuroscience and data shows that trust can release oxytocin (when trustworthiness is replicated and spread around teams and the wider organisation).?(HBR Jan 2017)

In my experience, courage and leadership go hand in hand. Believing in yourself and your ability to persist under highly adverse circumstances is the essence of courage. Employees and teams will go further where they are trusted and when they trust their leader.? The converse is true too:

“Employees will work to advance a leader whose vision inspires them, who acts with authenticity, integrity and consistently and can be trusted” conversely …employees “will work to undermine a dictator who means to control them through fear.”

Simon Sinek: Leaders Eat Last

I know first-hand what it feels like to work for a tyrannical leader who can’t be trusted, who rules with fear, not knowing who will come through the door. Who does not have your back and repeatedly ‘gaslights’ you. ?It is why I choose to lead differently. I choose to start with trust and building relationships.

I’ve hit rock bottom when working with bad narcissistic leaders, but it was in the rise that I learnt the most about myself, my resilience and belief in my strong values. I am intolerant of racism, misogyny, inequity and value courage because it empowers me to continue to stand true to my values. I have repeatedly dug deep to step up to fight another day, believe I can not only endure but thrive too. The environment we build, of trust, empathy, compassion, vision and courage matters to our success.

Humans from all walks of life want to be treated fairly, with dignity, have access to the same opportunities but the system is working against this basic premise. Not everyone wants to be the Chairman of the Board but there should be opportunity, pathways to it irrespective of class, race, gender or sexuality.

We can't give up now. This is a lifetime of work - not just one day. IWD is a good way to keep it alive and connect with the sisterhood - but it fades and feels hollow when progress is glacial. We can't also ignore the women who came before us and who fought for change, IWD should honour their sacrifice, hard fought wins as they paved the way for us.

Happy International Women’s Day 2024 – There is no future without #inclusion, #equity, #diversity or a true sense of belonging. As Brene Brown says: “true belonging is not fitting in, it never asks us to change who we are, it requires us to be who we are…”.

For the women in my network, the last word goes to Abby Wambach’s rally cry: “You were never Red Riding Hood you were always the Wolf”! Find your Wolfpack and you will go further: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJe40l2waxs