It Takes Courage to Be Authentic

I have been thinking a lot about courage this month as I listened to my clients’ stories about work challenges. Whether about being passed up for a promotion, looking for a new job, pitching new ideas, being in the midst of a work conflict, or dreading the office holiday party. Ultimately, all the stories share a common thread – it takes courage to stand up for oneself, or for others, to take on that which is unfair, to stand up and be noticed. Sadly, courage cannot be developed in our comfort zone. However, it doesn’t necessary mean that courage can be found only when we overcome big and scary obstacles. We have plenty of opportunities to bravely “take the bull by the horns” every work week, and throughout the span of our career. The size of the bull and the horns vary – from the benign Ferdinand (the animated giant bull who detested bullfighting) to a massive, angry bull with mighty horns who’s headed straight at us at full speed. Work challenges come in many forms; they may hit us unexpectedly and forcefully like a tidal wave, or creep along slowly and subtly. We deal with a wide variety of obstacles and many fears as part of our work lives. But whatever the situation, we need to muster the courage to clear the hurdles in our way decisively and effectively. Facing up to things and working through them is how we build our courage muscles and increase our inner strength.

One story in particular stayed with me throughout this week – the horror story of the bullying boss. Thankfully, this boss spends most of his time hidden away in his office behind closed doors (even went to the trouble of covering the large window on his office door.) But when he comes out of his office every so often, he would inevitably find the “victim du jour” and would put the poor team member down making personal and demeaning comments. After a particularly volatile outburst, the team would secretly gather to discuss and debate over a variety of plans to nullify the threat of their boss. However, the plans and action items inevitably fall into a black hole and never get done. This reminded me of the fable of the cat and mice: there once was a menacing cat who derived great joy from patrolling the barn and terrorizing the mice. One day the mice got together to devise a plan to eliminate the threat. A wise old mouse proposed they hang a bell to the cat’s neck so they would hear it coming. Problem was, no one volunteered for the job. And so, things continued the way they had been.

The question “who will bell the cat?” is one of the fascinating unanswerable questions about life that are good to ponder on occasion. I believe that in almost every culture, sacrificing one’s life to save others is considered the ultimate act of courage. Yet, the noble, voluntary heroic self-sacrifice actions are but one kind of courage. Another, and just as important, is the courage to protect and preserve the essence of ourselves – to seek self-awareness, to take ownership and control of one’s life and career, to try new things, and to set limits and boundaries. It is indeed a different kind of courage, the resolve to be brave and not be governed by fear. We show courage every time we encounter the unknown and tackle new challenges. Our personal and professional growth is measured in large by how brave and resilient we are in facing the fears that hold us back from growing into our full potential. Yes, there’s a time and place for heroism in the moment, but courage is a daily practice. It demands the willingness to make a consistent effort, to go deeper, to think, and to try out different solutions to initiate change and stand out in a positive way.

The courage to endure and endeavor is a human quality that we all have. A pre-requisite is embracing the full spectrum of one’s true, authentic self – whatever that looks like. It entails creating a space for and tapping into the inner voice and innate wisdom, especially at such times when we are bombarded with messages regarding who to be, what to do, and how to feel. The root of the word courage is “cor” – the Latin word for heart. I hope this holiday season you find the courage to follow your heart, to be true and kind to yourself, and to be attuned to your most authentic self in order to live your best life. And as you gear up for 2020, let me end with a question I ask my clients: ”what do you wish you had the courage to do, and what is stopping you from being courageous?”

Extending the season’s warmth to you – whatever and however you choose to spend the holidays.