Take Your Power Back: The Key to Lasting Happiness is within You

Have you ever found yourself seeking happiness through external validation?

For years, I placed my happiness in the hands of others, constantly thinking that if certain people or circumstances aligned in a certain way, then I would finally be happy.

I would catch myself saying things like:

"If my X (parents, sister, partner, son, boss, colleague, etc.) did THIS... THEN I will be happy."

I tied my happiness to achieving good grades, receiving recognition at work, earning promotions, and reaching specific milestones in my business.

"When I make this promotion, hit this target, earn this income, get this client, or receive this recognition... THEN I will be happy."

My joy was dependent on external factors and the validation they provided.

The problem was, and what I've realised later in life through?Mindset Coaching, MY long term happiness is an internal job... I am the only one that can change my level of happiness.

Yes, the external factors could give me a?temporary?hit of happiness - BUT they never gave me lasting contentment.?I was ALWAYS onto the next... seeking more validation.

Unable to say "that was good enough".

And, if I didnt get the promotion, the reward, the client, the recognition, the respect or whatever form of external validation I was seeking, THEN I was devastated and internally unhappy with my level of output in that specific situation.

Here's what I learned through this important life lesson:

• We cannot control the external factors or the outcome of every situation in life
• We cannot control other people's opinions of us, how much or little someone approves of us,?or even HOW they specifically show us?their approval

The key was... I had to learn to?know, love and accept MYSELF?(all facets and parts of me) - in order to find my self-worth and experience a sense of contentment that I never even knew existed.

I was, and I am good enough for me - no matter what happens externally in my life.

Once I shifted this belief system, I stopped seeking external validation and the most amazing thing happened...

I got my power back.

Here's a few details on how I did it:

1. Get clear on what is in your control and what isn't

I learned that I cannot control other people's actions, reactions, behaviours or even the way they love and treat me.?I cannot control every single outcome, to every situation in my life.

There will be uncertainty, there will be change, there will be things that do not always go my way. No matter how hard I work or try to make it different.?

I can only control what is within my circle - my mind, my body, my emotions and my behaviours. How I think, reaction and respond is up to me.?

2. Start your day with a focus on self-care

I started my day with a simple shift. In order to approve of myself fully and build self-worth, my own self-care and what I feed my mind has to be a priority.?

I decided to wake up 15 mins earlier, to sit listening to a short 5 min guided meditation and I did 10 mins of journaling?positive affirmations ?around confidence and self-worth - something I had never done before.??(If you are new to meditation I have a few to help get you started here)

I found this short 15-20mins of "me-time" first thing in the morning would calm and refocus my mind on my value and worth, before the chaos of the day began.

When I filled my own "needs cup" first I wasn't looking to other people or external factors to fill my needs anymore.

3. Do one thing this week that brings you joy

I began a new habit where once a week I would do something that brough me joy - something just for me. Where I didn't have to do anything for anyone else.?

You see, I started to remember who I was outside of all the labels and hats I wore. Outside of the expectations, demands, stress and achievements of work.?

I started to reconnect to my inner sense of fun, the part of me that had gotten lost from putting all my happiness eggs outside my own basket. The part of me that was waiting for someone else to validation and approve me, the way I wanted.?

It's an empowering feeling not waiting for someone to give you everything you need anymore.

I noticed I began to breathe easier and smile more often. Life felt less heavy and more enjoyable.??

I realise that it had to start with me, just like it has to start with you.

And I am here to tell you - YOU can absolutely do it too.?

In this video, I share the three crucial steps I took to break free from the cycle of seeking external validation and find true self-worth.

Janel Briggs, Thrive Mindset Coaching