"Take Time to Love Yourself!"

When I opened my eyes, I remember asking myself, am I looking at the ground? How did I get down here? Did I fall?

It was March 16, 2021, a bright sunny morning, the air was very fresh, after the previous day's rain -- I had left home early to drive to Torrance, a suburb of Los Angeles, and would be driving the 405 freeway, one of the busiest in our Nation, the plan was to get ahead of the traffic. But to my surprise traffic was very light. My destination was Joann's, an arts and craft super store, knowing there would be lines, since we were still in the middle of the Covid Pandemic, my goal, to get in and out as quickly as possible. I arrived very early, the store had not opened, with lots of time to spare I decided to use it at the Walmart store.

How long had I been laying here? Struggling to get on my feet, nothing to grab hold to in a almost empty parking lot somehow I managed to get to a curb, which I set on. I must have tripped -- I realized I was still holding my sunglasses, that had broken in the fall, when I landed on my face. What I know now is the curb was closer than my car -- thank goodness. As I set there, trying to make sense of what had just occurred, a Walmart employee walked over, and asked if I was OK. She asked what happened, I told her I thought I tripped and fell on my face and knocked myself out. She asked if I could walk, I told her I didn't think I could, she left and returned with a driving cart. She asked if I wanted to call an ambulance, I told her no, thinking I would be OK, but the longer I set inside Walmart, with no improvement, I decided to call EMS, using my cell phone. (Don't worry Walmart, the fall didn't take place on your property.) I touched my left brow bone feeling a slight pain, not realizing before, that it was bleeding caused by my shattered sunglasses.

When fire and EMS arrived, they asked that I walk outside, I told them that I couldn't because my legs were still wobbly. The paramedics came inside and loaded me on the gurney and into the ambulance -- my first time in one. I was asked a series of what I believe were protocol questions -- but the two that still stick with me are "who got you up?" My response was "I got up on my own." Another paramedic asked, "No one saw you laying there?" My response, "I guess not." Emergency Room staff were great and caring after a series of test ... the neurologist and cardiologist, decided I should be admitted into the hospital.

After I had been in my room for a while, the cardiologist came in and said that what I had was a pulmonary embolism, which prevented air from getting into my lungs. He asked if I had any shortness of breath recently or pain in my chest, I said no. He asked if I had been traveling, on any planes recently -- I had not. Asked if I was feeling any discomfort at that time, other then my brow bone abrasion, none. He left and returned in about an hour, he told me that it had been a medium size blood clot -- asked how I was feeling, my response, "OK, just tired." He left again, returning a short time later, by this time, I had IV's in both arms. This time the cardiologist said, it had been a very large blood clot, that apparently shattered when I fell on my chest, pieces of the clot moving into both lungs, allowing air to flow, allowing me to breath, he said, if I had not fallen the way I had, flat on my chest, the clot would have remained solid, and I wouldn't be here today.

My two big concerns, as I'm after being admitted were my car sitting in this big parking lot, with warnings posted of no overnight parking, so I was afraid it might get towed with my laptop, that contained my life inside it. I was the only one with keys to my car and my home. Finally I was able to contact parking lot security, I explained what had occurred. They assured me, it would not get towed and not to worry, I tried not to. During my four day stay, I called no one to share what had happened ... rearranging business appointments, not explaining why. Due to Covid most hospitals had a no visitation policy in place anyway.

It probably should be said at this point, I exercise daily and my health is very good. I have consistently maintained a weight of about 10 lbs. more then my modeling weight, 15 lbs. more then my highschool track weight.

During my hospital stay I realized what I sould have been prepared for -- I was not. I had not completed my final plans, I had not shared with anyone where I wanted my cremated remains to go. As a business owner, what would happen to it? The reason this should have been top of mind is because a few years prior, I had to make the final plans for my mother and one of her sisters.

The cardiologist, hemotologist and pulmonary physicians, checked on me regularly, running every possible test that protocols suggest. The doctors and therapist were absolutely great. There was only one doctor who was not. She never asked how I was feeling, if I had questions, she never left the foot of my bed. She talked at me, and never to me, my entire stay. I've had the an opportunity to learn the difference between great care and poor care. Seeing both in action with my mother and my aunt. And I have trained interns at the request of a hospital in "bedside manners."

With my mother, during the last four years of her life, I changed her primary care physician twice. The reason for the second change, was because, my mother told me the doctor acted as if she was afraid to touch her, and never did.

At no time, during this entire ordeal, did I feel any pain, except in my brow bone, but that was only to the touch. How am I doing now? I have always told friends and clients, the body will take what it needs. My doctors suggessted not to work, to stay still, for 30 days, I did that, but decided I needed more, because when I did move about I would become extremely tired. So my assessment was, because I had not taken a vacation in about seven years, and managing the medical care, deaths and after care of my mother and my aunt, I needed a break ... my body took what it needed. My mother and aunt's passing had nothing to do with me not taking a vacation. It was me not caring for myself enough.

My follow-up appointments with the cardiologist, pulmonary, and hematologist have all gone well, with all of my numbers returning to normal and are good. They still have been unable to determine its beginning. The hematologist, said her best diagnosis is, it was a "one off". The term doesn't sound very medical to me -- but I'll take it. She removed me from the blood thinners within 6 months and she suggested that I add a folic acid to my vitamin regime. She said it was rare for this to reoccur in a woman. I am well.

By the way, my car was not towed and yes ... I have thanked my Walmart angel!

What I've learned:

1. Love yourself as much or more than you love everyone or anything else.
2. Tell people where you are or going -- we're never too old.
3. By the time we're 40, our final plans should be in place and someone should have a copy.
4. Give someone a set(s) of keys, especially if you live alone.
5. If you are business owner, confide in someone, your attorney, a trusted family member or friend.
6. Always have a plan(s) in place.
7. There are still many, many kind people in our world.

So today, I believe, I am still a work in progress. God is not finished with me. I still have a lot more work to do!