Take responsibility and lead yourself
Jilli Warwicker
?? Change Agent & Pathfinder | Future-Fit Strategist and Guide | Life^Work Coach | Communication and Engagement Enabler| Community Builder
OR DON'T TAKE RESPONSIBILITY AND LEAD YOURSELF ...
Choosing OWNERSHIP is a foundation 21st Century Future Skill - it is the mindset that guides you towards success.
Next time you find yourself complaining or blaming at work reflect on the position you have chosen and what it means.
The Victims Choice
It is hard to put managing my life and career on my to do list - let alone at the top of it! Life is just too busy, with too many urgent and important things to do now. I am more concerned with staying in control, reducing the sense of overwhelm, pleasing my boss, surviving the here and now and paying the bills than indulging in self help and planning for something that just won't happen! I need to stay real and I have not got time!
So what does it mean NOT to be an Owner or Leader of my own life story?
I am a passenger in someone else's story; or a victim; or a spectator; or a persecutor; or a comfort seeker; or invisible; or unlucky; or a rescuer; or someone who rarely delivers on their commitments to themselves; or I am an opportunity missed; or I am the dreams that remain as distant shores rather than guiding lights on my journey; or I am vulnerable in the wrong way!
I am caught up with the struggles of my life, blown about by events and ruled on other people's agendas, priorities, plans and dreams.
Hey but, there are benefits too - it feels good; it is comfortable; it feels safe; it is what is best for me right now; when things go wrong I can blame someone else; it gives me time to think and plan but not do; I get a great view to watch everything around me from the back of the bus; I get to keep other people happy; I can just focus on doing a good job and keeping my head down; and I can settle because life is OK most of the time. I can deal with the future when I come to it.
MY CHOICE:
This is a strong narrative in the world around me especially in the mainstream media. Victim does not lead me anywhere worth going. This is not me because I consciously choose to be an OWNER everyday and drive my own bus! When I slip I notice and change my state. It is easy to slip!
However:
“As you look back on your life so far, you will see that you always had two basic ways of being. At any given time, you were either one way, or you were the other; you were either an owner of the human spirit, or you were a victim of circumstances.
One way, the ownership way, reinvents you as you go. It reinvents you outward, in an ever-expanding circle of compassion, vision, and courage. The other way (the victim way) shrinks you down. Just as your muscles shrink when they are not moving, so do your heart and soul when you are in victim mode…"
Steve Chandler from Reinventing You
So who is driving your bus today?
CHOOSING TO BE AN OWNER
One the best decisions I made early in my career was to always seek to be an Owner i.e. committed and fully responsible for driving my own bus! Whilst often a bit of a bumpy ride, that often veers off course, it is my ride and it is very real.
It is mindset I have to work at every day, not a constant state. It is worth it because it?means I do not need to waste valuable time living a victim’s story because I believe someone else is in charge or responsible. They are my successes and my failings to learn from – not always in my control but the response and meaning?I give is my choice - Owner and Creator or Victim and Passenger!
I am and always will be a work in progress on this but I love driving the bus!
SO HOW DO YOU GET TO DRIVE YOUR BUS?
This OWNER newsletter takes a peek into the mindset and skillset that makes up that OWNER role. In this edition we will give you an outline on what it means to be an OWNER including tips on cultivating the right mindset. Before finally signposting you to some of my recent OWNER posts plus a few interesting brain food finds and tools to continue your self responsibility and ownership learning journey.
Over the next couple of weeks on LinkedIn I will also post articles focused on some of these OWNER skills in more detail - with practical ways to build them, upskill and more signposts to great resources and book reviews.
IT IS NOT ABOUT BEING AN ENTREPRENEUR
It is not about being an entrepreneur but it is about thinking like one. You might work in a large corporate, government office, be a freelancer, be in the military, be a solopreneur, run a small business or have a side hustle etc. You can work for someone else and OWN your life. You run your own personal INC. for you. It is about how you manage this work relationship, others in your life and your relationship with yourself.
It is more than your work - it is about where you place responsibility for your life and choices. It is where you choose self compassion and self reliance over excuses and pity. It is about your future self, your mindset and the decisions you make every day when you decide to rise above your circumstances, take the keys and drive your bus!
It requires that you constantly work on your SELF (awareness, management, leadership, care) to be the person you want to be and that as the Architect you DESIGN & BUILD the life you want to live.
It is the primary future skill and most important role in your 2022 journey going forward because your future success depends upon you being an OWNER!
TAKING FULL RESPONSIBILITY AND BEING AN OWNER
For me OWNER means taking charge of getting the life and career opportunities you want.
Understanding, leading and looking after No1 first - Your SELF! Not selfishly but based upon the idea that 'if you want to help others you have to put on your oxygen mask on first'. If you are self aware and focused on being the best version of you that rubs off on others.
Having a compelling vision of your life well lived that you are moving towards. Then taking responsibility and owning your role as the architect and builder of that life through the plans and choices you make.
And saying 'Hello World - this is ME!' through the personal brand you create and the reputation you build with pride.
Understanding the impact of your energy in what you attract into your life and what you give out.
Navigating this precious journey and the inevitable challenges by committing to disciplined delivery through clarity, focus, consistency and lots of small steps forward.
And being adaptable knowing when to pivot or press the refresh button!
Learning from those two sports mantra's 'It is what it is' and 'doing whatever it takes'.
Do not dilute the truth of your potential. We often convince ourselves that we cannot change, that we cannot overcome the circumstances of our lives. That is simply not true. You have been blessed with immeasurable power to make positive changes in your life. But you can't just wish it, you can't just hope it, you can't just want it... you have to LIVE it, BE it, DO it.”
Steve Maraboli
Nobody is coming to save you so
OWN it!
It requires that you constantly work on your SELF (awareness, management, leadership, care) to be the person you want to be and that as the Architect you DESIGN & BUILD the life you want to live.
It is the primary future skill and most important role in your 2022 journey going forward because your future success depends upon you being an OWNER!
TAKING FULL RESPONSIBILITY AND BEING AN OWNER
For me OWNER means taking charge of getting the life and career opportunities you want.
Understanding, leading and looking after No1 first - Your SELF! Not selfishly but based upon the idea that 'if you want to help others you have to put on your oxygen mask on first'. If you are self aware and focused on being the best version of you that rubs off on others.
Having a compelling vision of your life well lived that you are moving towards. Then taking responsibility and owning your role as the architect and builder of that life through the plans and choices you make.
And saying 'Hello World - this is ME!' through the personal brand you create and the reputation you build with pride.
Understanding the impact of your energy in what you attract into your life and what you give out.
Navigating this precious journey and the inevitable challenges by committing to disciplined delivery through clarity, focus, consistency and lots of small steps forward.
And being adaptable knowing when to pivot or press the refresh button!
Learning from those two sports mantra's 'It is what it is' and 'doing whatever it takes'.
Do not dilute the truth of your potential. We often convince ourselves that we cannot change, that we cannot overcome the circumstances of our lives. That is simply not true. You have been blessed with immeasurable power to make positive changes in your life. But you can't just wish it, you can't just hope it, you can't just want it... you have to LIVE it, BE it, DO it.”
Steve Maraboli
Nobody is coming to save you so
OWN it!
It is about using your talents, your character, your mindset and your skillset to deliver your dreams. Your future selves will thank you if you give it a 'must' rather than 'nice' to do. It includes:
1)?????Life Success Owner: you think through and get clear on what a meaningful life looks like and why that life matters to you. Then commit to be the architect and builder of that life through the choices you make, the actions you take and habits you build.
2)?????Know & Lead You: you get the importance of feedback for self-awareness and EQ to better understand your motivations and blind spots. You seek to master how you lead yourself, manage the choices you make and your impact on others.
3)?????Vision, Direction & Priorities: You get what is important to you and what you stand for. You set a destination as a guiding star and constantly focus on what matters most now, to take you towards that vision.
4)?????Personal Brand: you get it is about crafting a reputation worth having not selfies. You set about living and telling the story you are proud of. You manage your career, the messages you deliver, the impressions you make and the relationships you build. Remember you do not define your personal brand - others do through the work you do, your contribution and your actions.
5)?????Change Agency: you get the importance of navigating good and challenging changes well, especially by adopting the right mindset. You build resilience, embrace obstacles, constantly adapt and ensure you are ready for whatever it takes to keep you in the game.
6)?????Refresh & Reinvent: You get what got you here won’t get you to the next stage. So you are constantly skill stacking and growing to give yourself more options. You regularly choose a refresh makeover and prepare for reinvention several times during your career, as a natural part of the journey.
7)?????Career Fundamentals: You get that you attract the right things into your life by consistently doing the right stuff, having confidence in yourself, being clear and focusing on what you want.?You deliver work you are proud to put your signature to knowing it is all part of a bigger game plan. You begin with the end in mind, stick with it and adapt as you go. You are committed to designing and building the ‘BEST VERSION OF YOU’ life and the journey it gives you. You are proud to be you, enjoy the journey and your energy shows it!?
Below is the full Hikmaty Owner Grid and skills stack that make up our OWNER role to guide your own personal development journey. It informs what we share with you and curate for you. It is simply a map not the whole territory.
POSTS, RESOURCES AND FINDS TO HELP YOU BE AN OWNER
The language of Owners v Victims by Steve Chandler
Owners use the words ‘I can’ a lot, while victims favoured ‘I can’t.’ Owners had goals, projects, and challenges, whereas victims had problems, hassles, and nightmares. Owners said they were busy, and victims said they were swamped. Owners were ‘designing a life,’ while victims were ‘trying to make a living.’ Owners were psyched and excited about changes in the workplace, while victims were worried and ticked off. Owners looked to see what they could get from an experience, while victims tried to get through it. Owners would plan things and victims would wish things. And although this victimization can often last a lifetime, it is only a habit. When it’s understood, it can quickly be replaced.
Steve Chandler was the first person in his book 'Reinventing Yourself' to introduce me to Owner v Victim concept in detail. I include Brian Johnson with his Philosophers Note below to introduce you to the book and the ideas it shares.
If you have not got your FREE access to OPTIMIZE BY HEROIC - it is a great go to resource to support you in creating the best version of you.
I spent 300 days last year doing Brian Johnson's Optimize by Heroic Coach Program. It was life affirming, challenging and life changing. (Another time but feel free to DM me with any questions). With the recent launch of the new Heroic App much of the content that I had paid for monthly, for many years, is now available for free simply by signing up to Optimize by Heroic.
Your free wisdom membership gives you access to his amazing learning library. That’s 600+ Books reviewed in Philosophers Notes (PDF's, Audio and Videos), 50+ one hour Video 101 Masterclasses, and 1000+ Video +1 micro-lessons. Yep, you have to give them your email address to set up your membership but what you get in return is valuable premium content that helps you learn new stuff and upskill. No advertising and no strings attached. You can find out more about Optimize by Heroic here
A FEW RECENT LINKEDIN OWNER POSTS
OTHER INTERESTING BRAIN FOOD
Psychologist Jordan Peterson on taking personal responsibility and being there for yourself. I am not sure about 'SPEECHLESS'. I think it would take a lot more than this to shut me up! But useful, yes :).
AND WHAT ABOUT SOME INITIAL READING
There are so many available - just begin to explore more on EVERYTHING SELF, LIFE DESIGN BUILDER, RESPONSIBILITY AND OWNERSHIP, PERSONAL BRAND and NAVIGATING CHANGE.
For starters:
I hope this smorgasbord (buffet) of ideas and thoughts in this edition inspires you to take onboard your OWNER role and the energy that brings it alive. Just finding one idea to take forward might be the beginning of a new adventure for you. Have fun!
WELCOME TO HIKMATY AND OUR MONTHLY NEWSLETTER
I am the founder Jilli and this is my second 'Inquisitive Mind' newsletter.?
I am known to be business savvy, resourceful, practical, a tad unconventional and creative. I want to use these skills and my wisdom to serve others.
Hikmaty means 'my wisdom' in arabic. Why 'my wisdom'? because it equates to your applied learning i.e. from theory to practice to mastery or knowhow. It is not about the books you read, the courses you do, the qualifications and experiences you get - it is about what you do with those things and how you appply them to get wiser. Why Arabic? - because it was born in a burger bar in Jeddah one lunchtime. A story for another time!
I am passionate about helping career professionals take ownership of their Work^Life success,?explore their talents and master the crucial in demand future skills and the mindset that matter most now. I want you to unlock your potential, grow, grab opportunities, get noticed more, stay relevant and thrive not just survive in these uncertain and challenging times.
To do this Hikmaty has a series of frameworks and tools to help us guide, curate, synthesise, create, signpost and navigate the right content for your thriving Work^Life journey in the next decade. Yes, it is all very colourful because learning should never be beige!
Our Toolbox - I am guided by a grid of soft transferable future skill stacks to support my work and much more importantly your learning journey. At Hikmaty we focus on those 4 roles or domains and the skills that will help you thrive in 2022 and going forward. These roles are Owner, Discoverer, Player and Deliverer.
These are huge themes. Over each of the next few months newsletter's we aim take one of the framework roles and explore introductory elements of it to help you enhance your skills and stack new ones.
The next Newsletter in late May will focus on what it means to be a PLAYER in the arena not a spectator.
You can learn more about our frameworks, keep updated on our new learning community launch and get your FREE Career Story guide using the TASKED framework here
We believe that not only should learning be colourful, not beige - it should be community based too! Watch out for our new Hikmaty Hub Learning Community launching soon.
This is where our purpose, grids, frameworks and passion come alive to serve you in a new type of live lab learning community to build these skills. We hope to welcome you there as a Founder Member creating something special together.
Own your month and have a great learning journey.