Take Responsibility

Many years ago I discovered a concept called “responsibility assumption”. It is a powerful idea: unless you take 100% responsibility for your own happiness and success, you will never be happy or successful. This really resonated with me. Because I was bullied as a child, I approached life with a victim’s mindset. I often blamed everything around me for my own failings. I’m not perfect at it yet, but I have developed a habit of looking in the mirror more often than pointing my finger.

I’ve become hypersensitive to negativity. Once you become aware of its damaging properties, you become more aware of your own behavior and that of others. As I move through the world, I hear it everywhere. Its the “blame game” played by the majority of the population. Negativity can easily become the default mode for humans. It’s a bad habit that comes from believing you are powerless. People often create a narrative for their lives that casts them as the unfortunate victim of life’s many struggles. 

“Elephant Thinking” is a term that illustrates the phycological prison we can build for ourselves. It is derived from the training technique circus trainers use to control these collosol, intelligent, and sensitive creatures. The trainers tie a rope to the young elephant so that they cannot move. After a time, the elephant comes to believe that the rope tied to its leg means it cannot move, even though, as they become adults, they have the power to easily break from their constraints. Humans who suffer from “elephant thinking” are prisoners of a self-structured narrative where past failures and negative experiences dictate their belief system. They believe that past experiences will determine their future. 

Breaking the ropes of this self-limiting, self-imposed belief system starts with awareness. Listen to your words and thoughts. Are you the guileless victim of some grand conspiracy? Do you believe that failure is terminal? The road to happy destiny is pocked with failure and disappointment. It is those who can break the bonds of elephant thinking who can rewrite the story where they are cast as the winners, not the losers.

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