Take no prisoners, ladies; demand respect! - Goodbye Good Girl Biz Tip #17

I am riled UP!!!

Not 20 minutes ago a man stood in front of me and talked down to me, tried to shame me, gave me attitude as the Great White Bwana Of All Things and was rude, intrusive and totally obnoxious.

UGH!

Not too many years ago, this would have not only made me mad but it might have made me too frightened to respond out of my strengths. But not today.

How many times have you been stopped by men, and sometimes power-masculinized women, taking you to task, making you feel small? How would you like to stop that insanity and step into the identity and energy that is who you truly are?

Please tell me your answer is a "hell YEAH!" Because enough is enough, okay?

Look, about 2 weeks ago a socially powerful woman in the tri-State Cincinnati area tore me apart verbally and I cried. I cried because I felt like all of her accusations "must" be based on something real!

Ohmygod, I thought, have I been being a total moron for the 18 months I've known this woman and her gatherings and no one has bothered to tell me???

Do you recognize this response?

This is the disempowerment that women are indoctrinated into. You may shrink, or you may armor up, but internally the response is the same: shame. And it is unearned.

There is no man, woman or leader out there who is more important than I am and I am no more important than any other man woman or leader out there. And all of us need to learn some damn mutual respect.

For women, it is more a given than not that we will be presumed weak until proven "worthy". Neither measurements are appropriate. We are certainly not weak, and as for worth, we ARE worth. Every person on this planet IS worth.

How do we stop negative internal feelings and external emotional shrinkings?

The two most potent answers are:

1. Look at the situation from a practical point of view. Don't deny how you feel, but definitely get curious about whether or not it is appropriate for an adult professional woman. Make some choices from that perspective - the one where you see yourself as the person you truly are.
2. Realize that you are far more powerful than this person will ever be, no matter how much physical/emotional garbage they throw your way. That is because you know how to remain professional, calm, and lay down the boundaries of, "No. I really don't think so, dude." That kind of power is amazing and really kicks the butt of any kind of fighting back response.
3. Understand that you don't have to fight. Your quiet refusal to buy into this nonsense is probably going to excite the other person more than you find comfortable, but your internal sense of calm knowing that you are simply right FOR YOURSELF. You deserve to be respected, and there is nothing good enough to gainsay that fact. The more you know it, the calmer you are in setting down that boundary without feeling a need to fight.

There is professionalism, and then there is professionalism in the name of taking abuse. Don't take the abuse.

Speak up, say no, and reminding any internal quaking that respect is what you're due as a human being on planet Earth. You did the right thing.

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Lori Kirstein is a workshop/webinar leader, Coach and Speaker who can be reached at [email protected].