Take ownership, behave stoically.

Chapter XLVIII, Enchiridion

The condition and characteristic of a vulgar person is that he never looks for either help or harm from himself, but only from externals. The condition and characteristic of a philosopher is that he looks to himself for all help or harm. The marks of a proficient are that he censures no one, praises no one, blames no one, accuses no one; says nothing concerning himself as being anybody or knowing anything. When he is in any instance hindered or restrained, he accuses himself; and if he is praised, he smiles to himself at the person who praises him; and if he is censured, he makes no defense. But he goes about with the caution of a convalescent, careful of interference with anything that is doing well but not yet quite secure. He restrains desire; he transfers his aversion to those things only which thwart the proper use of our own will; he employs his energies moderately in all directions; if he appears stupid or ignorant, he does not care; and, in a word, he keeps watch over himself as over an enemy and one in ambush.

Thoughts

a. Vulgar, may be defined as rude or tasteless or unsophisticated or uneducated.

b. A vulgar person only looks for harm or help from others or externals. Seeks aid from non controllables.

c. Seeks harm from externals. Nothing is their fault. No ownership. They regard themselves as victims. Blame it on others.

d. The proficient person (skilled in stoicism and living well),

• takes ownership for setbacks or poor situations
• neither. praises nor blames nor accuses others for situations
• never boasts of his expertise, status or knowledge
• he smiles internally at the person who praises him
• if given out too, he remains silent

e. Threads carefully with everything which may be brittle but doing well

f. He restrains his desires. Focus on his minimal needs and those desires within his control

g. He is moderate in his efforts to all events

h. He is unaffected when considered ignorant and stupid. Peoples’ opinions are outside his control, his reactions are not. He must choose to be offended or not to be offended.

i. He is vigilant in his self discipline, his reactions, his actions, his desires and his avoidances of all things.