Take Off the Mask — Speaking Your Mind When it Matters Most
We have missed the point.
The way we interpret the saying “Always put your best foot forward” keeps us from expressing who we are, what we are really struggling with, and what we need and want in life.
If you have ever mentored someone, then you have heard the blustering résumé reading that most people assume is the most valuable aspect of their humanity and therefore the primary thing they attempt to communicate.
It sounds ridiculous saying it out loud but it’s true. How often do we fall into the habit of relying solely on the list of our professional accomplishments and buzzword personal growth statements as a way to speak about who we are?
“I volunteered extensively here. I went to school at this prestigious university, was the EVP of finance for three clubs. I started as an associate at this big firm. Reached promotion in half the time as my peers and I am a cold and empty person who is only relatable when speaking about performance reviews and my flawless superiority.”
These are all great things and definitely interesting. But relying exclusively on them to understand who you are is like studying the colorful images on a box of cake mix to understand the delicious taste of actually eating that cake.
Nonsense. Just eat the cake.
Eating the Cake
Sometimes, the thing everyone really wants is not the thing being given.
Have you ever had a wonderful conversation with someone you admire and respect and come away wishing you could have asked their perspective on some of the questions that are really bothering you?
Maybe talk to them about the areas of your life you feel unsure about instead of focusing entirely on all of the good parts?
Perhaps been vulnerable enough with them that suddenly the titles and accolades melt away and the dynamic changes to one of two humans sharing time and perspective with one another?
Now imagine that the other person in this scenario feels the same. Imagine they leave the engagement with you and feel as if there was something missing from it all.
Fundamentally misaligned desires.
Dare to Eat Cake With Someone
Breakthrough the obvious and dare to speak to the real.
Dare to be exposed and open to attack as a product of what you choose to talk about.
Speak to the things that you are unsure of rather than to those which are easy and comfortable.
Ask questions that are hard to articulate as a product of how deeply you feel the topic rather than resorting to low hanging and simple fruit.
Eat cake with someone.
And then do it again, and again until it dawns on you how wonderful the world can be when you acknowledge there is more to you than your LinkedIn accomplishments.