Take My Money, Please…

On Saturday morning, I attempted to?do?something simple:?order flowers for a?friend. It should have been a quick 10-minute task?– but what happened was the most despicable and unbelievable example of NON-SELLING and people hating money that I’ve ever experienced in my life.?

Since?my friend?lives too far for my regular florist to deliver, and because I needed them delivered that day,?I used?Google Maps?to find a flower shop close to?his?house.?Surprisingly, he has 10 flower shops within a 5 mile radius of his?home. I’m?both surprised there are that many in such a small neighborhood and?delighted, thinking this is going to be easy.

The first shop’s website I visited?has?no phone number. None.?I go to the bottom of the site, look for a “Contact Us” or similar page and come up empty.?Only?an “inquiry” form.?Stunning.?I click off and go back to the search.?

The second shop I click on?says?they open at 9:00 a.m. on their Google?Business?Profile. I call at 9:20 a.m. and it goes straight to voicemail. I go to the website and discover it’s NOT open on weekends (which is nuts for a flower shop). It’s only open Monday through Friday, 10:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m.?So their Google profile?is?wrong. Annoying.?I go back to my search…

The third shop I call answers?live!?When I?tell?them what I need?with the location of the delivery, they put me on hold to see if they?can?deliver same-day.?After?5 minutes on hold?another guy gets on the phone and?says, “How can I help you?”?I repeat what I?told the?first?guy. He says, “Let me check if we can do that.” I wait some more. He?comes back and says, “Sorry,?we can’t deliver today.”?Annoyed,?I hang up and try the next one…

Apparently, this shop?only sells bulk flowers.?Like some of the others, these idiots have no?phone number?AND no inquiry form, much less a way to buy anything.?Their stupid website is about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.?I go back to Google?Search.

The next shop doesn’t have a phone number prominent. I search and finally find?it. In fact, I find three. Not sure which one to call, I pick the one listed in the middle. They answer! I tell them what I need, but they say?don’t do same–day delivery?even though they are literally ONE MILE away from where I need it delivered.?They could walk there. She continues on to?say?that if I want something?that day, I have to come in and pick it up. I?tell her I?do NOT want that. I want it?delivered?and offer to pay double the delivery fee and give the driver a big tip. She insists that they can only do pickup. I?hang up.?

The next shop I call, which is 2 miles from?my friend’s house, informs me that?they don’t have anyone doing deliveries today, which is crazy (I used to work at a flower shop and Saturdays are the biggest delivery day of the week).?They?offer to get it there Monday. No good. I hang up.

The next one (and I shit you not) doesn’t have any phone number, period. Just pretty pictures and another damned “inquiry” form.

I’m REALLY desperate now and don’t care if the place has?50 one-star reviews because?all?they deliver a bunch of dead weeds smeared with dog shit tied with an old?shoelace. ?

The next place I call looks promising but say they can’t deliver today because they’ve “already been to that area this morning.” I plead with her and offer to double the delivery fee?and give the driver a big tip. No go.?Fine.?

I call another one. Turns out it was the SAME one I just called,?only under a different name.?Same woman answers.?Click.?

There’s a?tenth shop?listed. It’s called “Kroger?Floral” and?I’m pretty sure they?don’t deliver.

So,?as I sit here after calling EIGHT damned flower shops, I’m thinking I’ll just call 1-800-Flowers and let those bastards figure it out.?Which brings me to?a big?“secret”?to winning in business, and the reason 1-800 Flowers grew to be a $2 billion dollar?organization while?millionsof local flower shops?across the country?who?arguably do a?better job?and deliver more value can’t grow or make any money.

You ready for it??Here?it is:?Jim McCann made it EASY for someone to give him money.

Jim McCann started out with a single, locally owned flower shop he bought?for $10,000 cash. But instead of doing what all the other flower shop owners did, he innovated the buying process, pioneering online ordering?during a time when ecommerce was just taking hold. He also bought the 1-800 Flowers phone number?and promoted the hell out of it being a simple and easy way to get flowers and gifts delivered to anyone anywhere across the US.?

He didn’t promote his flowers were better (they?were the same?as everyone else) or that his arrangements were more beautiful than what you’d get?from his competition?(they weren’t). He?couldn’t promise?that his designers were some of the best in the country?or that they would be cheaper or deliver more for the money?(in fact, they didn’t deliver as much value?because they often?took a cut and passed on the balance to a local shop to fulfill). The product was the SAME or even a little worse than what you could get?if you just called a local shop.

He simply made it EASY to do business with him.

Just this week I had a disgruntled member quit our program,?stating,?“My market is saturated with MSPs,” and the marketing “doesn’t work?in?his?area?anymore.” I’d bet my HOUSE if I called the MSPs and IT services firms in his area, I’d?experience?a similar shitshow of non-selling and dysfunctional service?just like the flower shop experience…and I’d bet you a dollar to a donut he’s one of the worst offenders of the bunch.?

Here’s a question for you:?How EASY is it for a potential prospect to give YOU money? When I call, how easy is it to get to someone?on the phone?who can actually help me??How quickly do you follow up??How easy is it to get a quote and get someone out to my office to provide support??

Sometimes you don’t need a gloriously strategic unique selling proposition. You just need to know how to?pick up the damned phone and take someone’s money.

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