Taking the Inconvenience Out of Relationships

Convenience is defined as, “being able to proceed with something with little effort or difficulty.”

Convenience stores apply this definition by providing products to customers in a rush. It is easier for the customer to pick up goods while getting gas than making a separate trip to visit a grocery store. Everyone leaves happy: the store provided a service for a profit, and the customer saved valuable time.

But how can we, as leaders, make our relationships more convenient? Relationships are difficult and inconvenient to maintain; we all have busy schedules and different expectations of each other. But if we’re diligent to selflessly serve others, we can create convenient relationships. Below are some practical ways I’ve found where we can take the inconvenience out of relationships:

Communicate More

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” -George Bernard Shaw

We are all busy. Emails are received, meetings are had, and we’re all constantly vibrating with a pocket full of unread texts. But with consistent, mundane communication, it is easy to forget that communication is meant to make life easier for those you communicate with, so…

• Be accessible | Remember that one time you were intimidated to talk with a higher-up at work, or you could never seem to get ahold of a friend? Don’t be that guy. Open up your schedule for others and leave your office door open for anyone who wants to see you.
• Listen more than you speak | Epictetus said, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” As leaders, it is important to listen to what our followers are saying; their words speak truth into how we should lead our organization. 
• Talk about conflict | A conversation easy to avoid, but hard to discuss is conflict. I can have a hard time with confronting conflict, but I’ve always found it is better to discuss than to not. The earlier it happens, the better it becomes for all parties involved.
• Intentionally choose your communication medium | no communication < text-based communication < verbal-only communication < face-to-face communication. What works best for the information you are trying to communicate? How would you want the same information communicated to you? Not all communication is equal.

Take Initiative

“Without initiative, leaders are simply workers in leadership positions.” -Bo Bennett

Initiative is what defines our role as a leader. We must be the first to steer the ship in a new direction. But taking initiative doesn’t stop with strategic decisions for our organization; we must take initiative in the relationships we keep. As leaders, we can take initiative by…

• Being generous | When the day comes where your casket is lowered into the ground, you won’t be remembered by what you took from the world, or how many awards you received, but by your generosity. We are defined by what we give away, not by what we take. If you are generous with your time and resources with your followers, it will pay dividends as you continue growing your relationships.
• Going to them | Growing up, my dad would encourage me to make it easier on others by physically visiting my friends instead of asking them to come to me. This made it much easier on my friends to be able to spend time together. This same concept can be applied to the business world. Instead of asking your followers to come to you, visit them.
• Being the first to walk across the room | Meeting new people is always awkward. As leaders, we meet new folks all the time. In order to make the beginning of a new relationship more convenient for the other person, we should be the first to walk across the room to meet them. You’ll make it easier for the other person to begin a relationship with you.
• Sending invitations | As leaders, it is important that we intentionally and consistently include our followers. Whether it’s to a decision-making meeting or the BBQ at your house, by inviting others we make it easier for the relationship to grow.
• Following up | It really shows someone you care when you remember what is going on in their world. By specifically asking about a recent trip or a special life event, you will build stronger relationships by remembering to follow up.

Prioritize Relationships

“They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” -Carl W. Buechner

When all is said and done, relationships are the most valuable asset we have as leaders. I’ve struggled maintaining my relationships when the to-do list gets long. But in the moments I have made the active choice to prioritize relationships over the everyday busyness, I have never regretted it. My relationships are stronger, and I’ve helped make it more convenient for others to be in relationships with me by prioritizing them. We can continue prioritizing relationships by practicing…

• Trust | As leaders and relationship builders, we must give others trust from the get-go. Whenever I have a new person on my team, I make it clear to them that they have earned my trust until they prove to me otherwise. Trust can build relationships up or tear them down. As leaders, we can take the inconvenience out of relationships by choosing to trust others.
• The old truth to never assume | You know what they say about assuming… Even if it is a cliché to never assume, it is a powerful truth. Assuming only makes relationships inconvenient for all parties. As relationship builders, we must rise above what is easy (assuming) and do what is difficult (communicate and trust).
• The Golden Rule | “Do to others what you want them to do to you.” If we are to take the inconvenience out of relationships, we must constantly consider the other parties as we make decisions. We don’t lead in a vacuum, so how can we lead from the perspective of the Golden Rule? In the answer lies a way we can make relationships more convenient for others.
• The art of remembering other’s names | No other word is as lovely as hearing your own name, so we should prioritize remembering other’s names. It will take away from the awkwardness (inconvenience) that ensues after you forget someone’s name. I struggle with names as much as the next guy, but if we actively try to improve our name recollection, it will pay dividends in building relationships.

The bottom line: A convenient relationship is defined as selflessly communicating with, taking initiative for, and prioritizing another person for no other reason but to build a stronger relationship. We are creating convenience for our followers, not necessarily for us. But by taking the inconvenience out of relationships, our relationships will be stronger, happier, and longer-lasting. 

How do you take the inconvenience out of relationships? Let me know in the comments!

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Michael Cizek works for Zoom as a Business Development Representative. In his free time, you can find him biking with friends or driving his beloved 1986 Toyota 4Runner. Michael lives in Denver, CO.  Feel free to contact him at [email protected].