“Take it easy, (Working) Mom!”

Surround yourself with wonderful women, who are as vulnerable and imperfect as you

 Last week when my son’s mid-term report dropped into my mailbox, my instant reaction was to scroll down to see his grades and look for the subjects where he could have improved – without even spending a second on the ones where he has excelled. Almost, as if, every less than the desired grade equated to my shortcomings of being a good mom!  

 We all tend to beat ourselves down and tend to take the blame! Thankfully it didn’t take me long to come back to my senses and pause to see what I was missing. His teacher’s note read:

 “Shlok is energetic and agile and works smartly in the class. With his smile, none of the teachers can get upset. He has a good heart and is always seen smiling…….” 

 This, in an instant, brought me back to what’s most important in life. My son has taught me how to lead with humor and compassion, bringing a smile to his teachers and classmates.

No matter how self-aware we are, how positive we want to be, how much gratitude we practice, Sh*t happens! Case in point, the kind of curve-balls 2020 had in store for us! But maybe this situation could also bring about a silver lining or a few! Our “New Normal” is pushing us to re-imagine what our world of work should look like.   

According to a recent LinkedIn report, more working moms seem to continue to look for a fulfilling career path that helps them juggle various responsibilities. They are more likely to be actively searching for a rewarding job, a new career path and a job that offers them good work-life balance. With #WFH now becoming imperative across a large number of organizations, I’m so glad that it can result in bringing many more women back into the workforce.

 Having said that, many times our self-limiting beliefs come in the way of our success. I have had (at times, I still do) my fair share of such beliefs as well. Thanks to my “Mentor rings” and supportive leaders within and outside of LinkedIn, a lot of those have been challenged. 

You will have moments when you will doubt yourself and will feel guilty – IT’S OK! FACE IT – take all of 2 minutes to sulk and then move on! This often happens when we fall under the “Perfection Trap”. This is mentioned in Sally Helgesen & Marshall Goldsmith’s book “How Women Rise” as one of the 12 Habits that keep women from reaching their goals. Striving to be perfect creates a negative mindset in which we’re bothered with every little thing that goes wrong, often distracting us from the big-picture orientation.  

 A balanced life is a lie! In one of my favorite books “The One Thing” by Gary Keller & Jay P, the authors explain it well – Extraordinary results require focused attention and time. Time on one thing means time away from another. This makes balance impossible. Replace the word “balance” with “Counterbalance”. Knowing when to pursue the middle and when to pursue the extremes is, in essence, understanding this well. The idea of counterbalancing is that you never go so far that you can’t find your way back or stay so long that there is nothing waiting for you when you return. There are phases when I have to be on the road for weeks, knowing fully well that my son and family will understand and this is where the importance of a support system comes in.  

Being vulnerable at work can have huge advantages: I’m so grateful to be in an organisation that truly values Vulnerability as a trait! Being open with my leaders, my peers, my team & my ERG community about good days and bad, helps me bring my authentic self to work - and also allows everyone else to do the same. No better time than now, when our resilience is being tested each day and we keep sliding through the scale from “Coping” to “Thriving”

You can’t do this alone – Accept it and be vocal about the help you need - at work or at home. Thanks to my mother-in-law who has been a shining example of how empowered women empower others.

Be open about what you need - even if that is explicit support and help in taking key decisions. Twice in my career, when I had to take important decisions of applying for larger roles, I sat down with my son and talked to him. He was a little over 7 when I shared that I had a great opportunity that I wanted to apply for – which meant more travel and long hours for a few days. He heard me patiently, asked me more questions about the business like an adult and then said, of course, yes, Mom! Take it easy! All the best for your interviews, can I take a mock test? ?? 

A strong support system is a must.. surround yourself with wonderful women who are as vulnerable and imperfect! We all need relatable role models – “If she can see it, she can be it!” 

And I found inspiration, quite early-on...

Happy Mother’s Day Mom!!! 

Do join the conversation with #WorkingMothers and tell me more about your experience as a working parent in the comments below.    

Happy #MothersDay, ladies!

#WorkingMothers #WomenAtLinkedIn #ParentsAtLinkedIn #LinkedInLife