Take Control: Create Your Own Success Metrics

In this article I want to talk about the power of the 'ordinary, average, regular'. I will be using these terms interchangeably?- to denote the same meaning: something that is not superlative!

We live in an age where our exposure to social media determines how we see the world. And it has given us an image: rather a half image. An image that paints mostly the 'peak of the pyramid of success': be it professional or personal. This image is painted with superlatives: best, brightest, biggest, largest, most expensive, toughest, most astounding, highest, most fortunate, elated, most remarkable etc etc. Our brains are now wired to believe that everyone is, or supposed to be at the top of this pyramid, that the congregation of people talking about extraordinary achievements on social media - is kind of all there is! And we do little to no conversation about the struggles, the falls, the ordinary, the multitude: the middle or the bottom of this pyramid. We refuse to see - the average, the regular, the so-called ordinary. And before we know it, this attitude transcends beyond professional and also translates into every aspect of our lives.. For instance, we don’t talk about the nights we slept for 6 hours, for the night to be mention worthy we must be up all of it or we must sleep for 10 hours straight! My comfortable outfit, cozy bed, good neighbour - is not a source of joy: for it to be fulfilling we either need our outfits to come from high end brands, or from a really cheap thrift store. Visiting a relative on the new year's even is not good enough, our party must be the maddest, the funnest, the craziest of all. And of course, We don’t feel good about a regular paycheque that comes to us every month on a decent date. For us to be happy at work we either need to earn more than the most, or we need to win awards and climb the ladder at great velocity.

But that’s not how life is!???Life is not about just the top or bottom of the funnel. It is mostly composed of a large Middle Funnel. (Could not resist using marketing language, don't take this theoretically) Your regular ordinary paycheque: there are so many regular things you do, that invoke most extraordinary, powerful emotions and experiences which remain invisible to the eye: someone sends their child to the neighbourhood preschool after due deliberation, someone buys a thoughtful gift for the wife or the mother, someone writes an articles that 25 relevant people read with complete attention, someone buys a jacket with heat lock technology for their father, a trip to your village home, painting a wall of your room, buying that showpiece you always admired, upskilling yourself with a 2 hour AI master class: imagine how much stability your regular life brings, with a regular job. How much extraordinary emotions you achieve...?

Statistically speaking: the percentage of people who are at the top of this visible pyramid - is less than 1%. The percentage of people who are paying 30% tax in our country is 2.2%. Everyone is not there. It is logically, statistically, historically and socially and economically - impossible for 67% of Indian population to be top of the social media shaped success pyramid! Against every Ankur Warikoo or Nikhil Kamath there are above 70 million solo-preneures and small and MSME ventures with founders you don’t know names of, that are providing for 120 million families in this “developing” country! This is the MOF of our economic and social fabric. If you must compare, have a point of reference that is relevant to you. Our social media pyramid is not designed for fulfilment and joy, it is designed to leave us wanting more, without understanding why.?

Now here is another news: by acknowledging the invisible middle funnel, by accepting that ordinary is okay -?you are not accepting mediocrity. Socially trained behaviour has nothing to do with talent and accomplishment.?It’s actually quite the opposite. When you have a more realistic view of the funnel - you can plan your whole life much more efficiently. You can save energy by dealing with less disappointments. You can dream with more clarity. Now you are liberated- to pursue goals and set milestones that are unique and relevant to just you. Your environment, your personality, your talent. And when you are able to be your true authentic self, see your true authentic desires, you will be able to fulfil them without interruption. You will arrive at the peak of the pyramid of 'your own definition of success' without conforming?to a socially trained mindset. You will then shine through the clutter and rubble of the fragmented Indian dream.?

Happy New Year: Achieve success that is uniquely yours!