Take Charge of Your Life: You Have Agency

Introduction

In the past 30 years, life has sped up, driven by advances in sciences and the opening of borders. We now have more opportunities than ever to build a better future. However, these opportunities also bring new challenges that can be overwhelming.

This is the age of the migrant and the knowledge worker, where traditional jobs in farming or factories have given way to roles that require more specialised skills. We are also seeing significant strides in gender and racial equality, with more people encouraged to express their true identities. Yet, amid all this progress, there’s a growing desire for simplicity - a yearning to hold on to the old ways.

In this fast-paced, ever-changing world, it’s easy to feel like life is slipping out of our control. But even in these uncertain times, we still have the power to take charge of our lives. The question is: how do we regain that sense of control and create a life that’s meaningful and fulfilling? This article will explore the concept of personal agency and provide practical strategies to help you reclaim your life and shape your future.

The Outer World

The world around us has changed rapidly. Technology has made it possible to work from anywhere, but it also means your boss might expect you to answer emails even when you’re off the clock. Our mobile gadgets keep us connected 24/7, but they also bombard us with commercials and bad news, creating a constant stream of information that can be hard to escape. Doom and gloom!

Globalisation has opened up new opportunities, with more people working in knowledge-based jobs rather than traditional roles in farming or factories. While this shift has allowed many to pursue exciting careers, it also brings challenges like increased competition and job insecurity.

As these changes reshape our daily lives, they can leave us feeling somewhat overwhelmed, always on and out of control. The pace of modern life can be exhausting, and it’s easy to feel like we’re being pulled in too many directions at once. Understanding how these external forces affect us is the first step in regaining a sense of control and agency in our lives.

The Inner World

While the outer world impacts what we do, it’s our inner world—our thoughts, emotions, and beliefs - that truly shapes how we experience life. In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to feel like things are spiralling out of our control, leading to a sense of helplessness. This feeling can make us believe that no matter what we do, nothing will change.

Take Sarah, for example. Sarah used to feel like life was happening to her. She’d wake up each day dreading the endless stream of emails and demands, and she often felt overwhelmed and powerless to change her situation. But one day, after yet another exhausting day, she decided enough was enough. Sarah realised that while she couldn’t control the demands of her job, she could control how she responded to them.

Sarah began by making small changes. She started setting boundaries, like not checking her work emails after hours, and she practised saying “no” when her plate was already full. She also worked on shifting her mindset, focusing on what she could do rather than what she couldn’t. Slowly but surely, Sarah noticed a change. She felt more in control, less stressed, and more optimistic about her future.

Just like Sarah, we can all learn to take back control. It starts with recognising that, while we can’t always change the world around us, we can change how we respond to it. This shift in mindset is where real power lies.

What little things can you start changing?

Learning to be optimistic doesn’t mean ignoring problems or pretending everything is perfect. Instead, it’s about focusing on what we can control and making the best of our situation. By reframing negative thoughts, practising gratitude, and setting small, achievable goals, we can train our minds to see opportunities instead of obstacles.

Assertiveness is another crucial skill in reclaiming our sense of agency. It’s about standing up for ourselves, clearly expressing our needs, and setting boundaries - without being aggressive. Being assertive means making choices that align with our values and taking active steps towards the life we want, rather than just reacting to circumstances.

By cultivating optimism, practising assertiveness, and embracing a proactive mindset, we can start to regain control over our lives. Even in a world that often feels chaotic, we have the power to shape our own path.

Your Best Years Are Now

Embrace the Present

We often find ourselves looking back at the past with fondness or dreaming about the future, thinking our best years are either behind us or yet to come.

But the truth is, your best years are happening right now. The present is where you hold the most power to make positive changes and live fully.

Take Action Today

Living in the present doesn’t mean forgetting your past or ignoring your future. It’s about realising that the actions you take today are what will shape your tomorrow.

Consider J.K. Rowling, who started writing the Harry Potter series as a struggling single mother on welfare. She didn’t wait for the “perfect” moment - she acted despite her challenges. Her decision to start writing during a tough time transformed not just her life but the lives of millions of readers around the world.

Don’t Wait for the “Perfect” Time

One of the most common traps we fall into is waiting for the “perfect” time to begin something new. We tell ourselves that we’ll start when life is less busy, when we have more experience, or when conditions are just right. But often, that perfect time never comes. The best time to start is always now.

Take Ariana Huffington, for instance. At the age of 74, she ventured into the competitive field of artificial intelligence by starting her own AI company. She didn’t let age or fear of the unknown stop her. Instead, she seized the moment, showing us that it’s never too late to pursue your passions and make bold, life-changing decisions.

Start Small, Think Big

Taking control of your life starts with small, manageable steps. Whether it’s spending more time with loved ones, trying out a new hobby, or finally tackling that project you’ve been putting off, these small actions can lead to significant changes.

Consider Maggie Beer, the Australian cook, food author, and businesswoman. Maggie didn’t start her culinary career until she was in her 40s. What began as a small venture with her husband, running a farm and selling homemade paté, eventually grew into a beloved brand known across Australia. Maggie’s journey shows that it’s never too late to follow your passion and that even small beginnings can lead to big success.

It’s Never Too Late

It’s crucial to remember that it’s never too late to start something new. Whether you’re in your 20s, 40s, or 60s and 70s, there’s always time to chase your dreams and make meaningful changes. Don’t let age, fear, or past experiences hold you back. Every stage of life offers fresh opportunities waiting to be seized.

Think about Colonel Sanders, who founded KFC in his 60s after enduring numerous failures. His story is a powerful reminder that success and fulfilment can come at any age if you’re willing to keep moving forward and embrace new opportunities.

Innovate with Your Past

Your past experiences, both successes and challenges, have given you a unique perspective. By combining these experiences, you can innovate and approach life with fresh thinking. Take everything you’ve learned - whether it’s resilience from tough times, creativity from problem-solving, or wisdom from past mistakes - and use it to forge new paths forward.

For example, Steve Jobs famously combined his experiences with calligraphy and technology to revolutionise the design of Apple products. Similarly, you can draw on your diverse experiences to create something entirely new, whether it’s in your career, personal life, or a passion project. Don’t just rely on what’s worked before; use your past as a foundation to innovate and think differently about the future.

Live Fully in the Now

Your past has shaped who you are, and your future is a blank canvas waiting to be filled. But the present is where the real magic happens.

By embracing the now and taking action today, you can make the most of your time, create experiences that bring you joy, and build a life that you’re proud of. Your best years aren’t behind you or ahead of you - they’re happening right here, right now.

Call to Action: Start Today

Think about one small step you can take today that aligns with your values or a goal you’ve been putting off. It could be as simple as making a phone call, setting aside time for a new hobby, or starting a project you’ve been thinking about. Whatever it is, commit to taking that first step today.

Reflect on Your Journey

Take a moment to reflect on your own life. What dreams or goals have you been waiting to pursue? What’s holding you back? Remember, the best time to start is now. Embrace the present, take action, and watch how your life begins to transform.

Optimising Living for Today

Now that we’ve explored the importance of living fully in the present, let’s dive into some practical ways to make the most of each day. By embracing these strategies, you can turn every moment into an opportunity to live your best life right now.

Prioritise What Truly Matters

In the busyness of everyday life, it’s easy to get lost in tasks that don’t bring real value. To live fully in the now, it’s essential to focus on what truly matters to you. Whether it’s spending quality time with loved ones, pursuing a passion, or simply taking a moment to breathe, prioritising these activities ensures that your time and energy are invested in what enriches your life the most.

Be Mindfully Present

Mindfulness is the practice of being fully engaged in the current moment. Whether you’re enjoying a meal, having a conversation, or taking a walk, try to immerse yourself in the experience. Mindfulness helps you reduce stress, sharpen your focus, and find joy in the everyday moments that might otherwise pass unnoticed. It’s not about doing more; it’s about being more present in what you’re already doing.

Set Healthy Boundaries

In our always-on world, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the demands on our time and attention. Setting clear boundaries - like limiting screen time, saying no to non-essential commitments, or carving out “unplugged” hours - can help you protect your energy and focus on what truly matters. Boundaries aren’t just about saying no; they’re about making space for the things that nourish you.

Embrace Flexibility

Life doesn’t always go according to plan, and that’s perfectly okay. Embracing flexibility allows you to adapt to changes with grace and take advantage of unexpected opportunities. Being open to new experiences and willing to adjust your plans can lead to more fulfilling and spontaneous living. Often, the most memorable moments are those that weren’t planned at all.

Celebrate the Small Wins

Big goals are important, but don’t overlook the power of small victories. Celebrate every step forward, no matter how small. Acknowledging these achievements can boost your motivation and keep you connected to your goals. Small wins build momentum, turning what might seem like minor progress into meaningful strides toward your dreams.

Release Perfectionism

Perfectionism can rob you of joy in the present moment. Instead of striving for an impossible standard, focus on progress and growth. Accept that mistakes are part of the journey and learn from them. Letting go of the need for perfection reduces stress and allows you to live more freely. Life is a work in progress, and so are you. Practise excellence.

Cultivate an Attitude of Gratitude

Gratitude has the power to transform your outlook on life. Taking a few moments each day to reflect on what you’re thankful for can shift your mindset and improve your overall well-being. Whether it’s something as simple as a sunny day or as profound as a close friendship, recognising the good in your life helps you stay grounded in the present.

Disconnect to Reconnect

In our digitally connected world, taking time to disconnect is more important than ever. Step away from screens and social media to reconnect with yourself and those around you. Whether it’s a digital detox for an afternoon or a whole day, disconnecting allows you to recharge and refocus on what truly matters in the present moment.

Conclusion: Own Your Power, Shape Your Life

At the core of living your best life is the power to choose - the agency to decide what’s best for you. In a world full of noise and demands, it’s easy to forget just how much control you actually have. But every single day, in every decision, big or small, you are shaping your life.

Practising agency means taking charge of these choices. It’s about owning your power and steering your life in the direction you want. Whether it’s setting boundaries, focusing on what truly matters, or cutting out what doesn’t serve you, the choices you make today are the foundation of your future.

Remember, agency isn’t about controlling everything - it’s about controlling what you can: your actions, your mindset, your responses. It’s about making decisions that align with who you are and where you want to go. Every time you choose what’s good for you - whether it’s grabbing an opportunity or walking away from what drains you - you’re exercising your power to create the life you want.

So ask yourself: are your choices moving you closer to the life you want? If not, what can you change right now? The power is in your hands. Practise agency with boldness, knowing that each decision is a step toward a life that reflects your true self.

Your best years aren’t just ahead - they’re happening now. By embracing your power to choose, you can make every moment count.

Own your choices, live fully, and never forget -you have the power to build a life that’s not just lived, but truly loved.

To your best life!

Frank Choy

25 August 2024

Recommended reading:

"The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen R. Covey - A classic guide to personal and professional effectiveness, focusing on principles that help you take control of your life and make meaningful progress.

"Mindset: The New Psychology of Success" by Carol S. Dweck - Explores the power of adopting a growth mindset and how it can help you take charge of your learning, growth, and success.

"The Art of Happiness" by Dalai Lama and Howard Cutler - Combines Eastern spiritual traditions with Western psychology to offer insights on how to create a fulfilling and joyful life.

"Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us" by Daniel H. Pink - The science of motivation and how understanding what drives us can help us make better choices in our personal and professional lives.

"Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear" by Elizabeth Gilbert - Encourages readers to embrace their creativity and take bold steps toward living a life filled with curiosity and wonder.

"Daring Greatly" by Brené Brown - Encourages readers to embrace vulnerability and take bold steps toward living a wholehearted, authentic life.

"Awaken the Giant Within" by Tony Robbins - A motivational book that provides strategies for taking control of your emotions, finances, relationships, and life.

"You Are a Badass" by Jen Sincero - A motivational guide to overcoming self-doubt, embracing your power, and creating the life you truly want.

"Untamed" by Glennon Doyle - An empowering memoir that encourages readers to trust themselves, break free from societal expectations, and live their truth.

"Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance" by Angela Duckworth - Explores the importance of perseverance and passion in achieving long-term goals, and how these qualities can help you shape your best life.