Take Care Of Yourself, Be Happy & Get Better Every Day!
In my Leadership Book, "Lessons from our Mothers and Fathers", I share twenty stories from leaders across the globe from different industries who discuss candidly the valuable lessons they received from their parents that shaped their lives!
I love all of the stories written by my colleagues and wanted to share a few with you that I hope you find informative, insightful, and inspirational as I have. This story is from a hero of mine and a friend, as it is my pleasure to introduce to you the esteemed Dr. Jeneen Fields, Ph.D.?? .
Dr. Jeneen Fields is a research scientist in the Department of Botany and Plant Pathology at Purdue University. She instructs the largest foundational plant science course for the department and inspires students to become more curious and expand their knowledge. She also leads the innovative Women In Agriculture course, which serves freshmen women future leaders across Purdue University’s College of Agriculture. She leads an annual Study Abroad Course to Peru, which gives students the opportunity to explore 120 agriculture in over seventy-five micro-climates across the country.??Dr. Fields is an alumnus of Penn State University (BS) and Alabama A&M University (MS). She earned her doctoral degree in plant breeding and genetics from the University of Tennessee and is believed to be the first African American woman in the nation to receive a Ph.D. in plant breeding and genetics.
I hope you enjoy Dr. Fields' story as much as I have...and more to come from www.coffeewithcleo.com
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Take Care Of Yourself, Be Happy & Get Better Every Day!
Collectively, my mother and father have everything to do with providing me with the foundation for the person I have become. I was blessed to have lovely married parents, a beautiful and peaceful home, a nice green lawn, and the picketed fence was not my story. Yet my story is rich in love, strength, and wisdom grounded in a lifelong partnership to make a difference in the lives of three daughters, all lovely and brilliant because they had a dad, mother, and grandmother who gave them love and lived good but very human lives.?
My parents ended their marriage when I was two years of age. The care they had for one another was so obvious to us as children; however, the visions for their lives led them in different directions. It was unexpected, perhaps, but true to themselves and perfect. They found their place apart from one another, but their unity was uncompromised when it came to us.?
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We lived with our mom; Dad would come by during the week to visit. We spent Saturdays with Dad, and Grandma would always take care of us if Mom’s work schedule demanded that she be gone overnight on split shifts.?
Grandma Cora lived around the corner, a five-minute walk from our house. Staying with Grandma was always fun; she spoiled us. She would rise early and make hot breakfast for us: eggs, toast, and Parks beef sausage links… you could smell the aroma as it floated upstairs in the morning. Grandma was one of the most beautiful women I have ever known. Sweet, kind, resourceful, and a lover of people. My grandmother lived for eighty-two rich years. I had the opportunity to observe what it looks like when someone loves people unconditionally. She was easy to talk to and always wanted to know how you were doing. Grandma was a staple in the community, the first African American manager at Sears Philadelphia, and she treated the boss and the janitor with the same care, love, and respect. As a little girl, I would wonder how a person could be filled with so much love so consistently. I learned that it was a legacy, a love passed from her mother to Grandma, and now to me… it was not taught, it was lived. Somehow, she learned to accept people for who they were, care for them, address relational challenges head-on, and keep a healthy balance about what she could and could not affect. She saw the whole person, the good within them, the flaws, and simply accepted and loved them, often into a better place. It was so profound to observe.?
As I grew older, I appreciated Grandma more and more for the fine example she was to me. I would call her and ask, “How are you doing?” She would reply, “Getting better every day.” Every day… really? … Grandma, you are older than me! Literally, she would raise the bar in my life with her simple and true words. She lived it, and getting better was the energy of her life. The phrase gained new meaning in her later years. After suffering two strokes within three years, she worked back from paralysis on one side of her body twice. She devoted herself to a daily walk outside with her walker to maintain strength. Yes, Grandma was loving, and giving, and got better every day. It was her anthem until her last breath, and the words still reverberate in my heart and in my life.
And then there was her son Walter, my daddy. A smile and jolly laugh would ring through the house when he entered. He would often be in conversation with neighbors as he came through the door. Dad was amiable and extremely intelligent. There was not a topic you could discuss that he was not adept in knowledge. He was a musician too. Dad could play the drums like a dream and would get lost in the joy of sound while he tapped out amazing tunes. He had a happy heart. and that always made it so great to be around him. My dad was an educator, and a sixth-grade teacher who also taught French. He loved children, and he loved his children. Early morning visits to IHOP and strawberry pancakes with whipped cream were a staple on Saturdays. Now, I was a feisty little girl and an opinionated, strong-willed teenager. Somehow, the happy and gentle nature of my daddy always calmed me. He would let me talk his ears off, and he would listen to all of my creative or even crazy ideas. Daddy taught me to be a good listener. He would listen to my joys and intently listen to my challenges until I got everything out of my head and heart. One of the qualities I carry in my life now is being a good listener. You learn so much about a person when you listen.
Dad always emphasized education and said we were not finished with school until we brought home our first degree. One of the things I loved most about my father is how he walked to the beat of his own drum. He had a way of magnificently balancing responsibility with his personal happiness. We could talk about everything. It is rare, but, literally, my dad was the person with whom I shared my greatest joys and deepest sorrows, as he would listen and gently encourage me. He believed that life was meant to be lived, and despite the expectations that others may place upon you, it was important, to be honest with yourself and never compromise your own happiness; to find a way to always take care of your business but also find and live true happiness in life. As I experienced different transitions in my life, Dad would encourage me to think about what I really wanted, to set my plan, and to move forward resolutely. Be happy, my child were not just words or a song, but a life legacy he left with me.
And finally, there was my fantastic, candid, strong, and loving mother, Claudia. Mom was a force. She raised three girls in the city of Philadelphia and taught us to work hard, be authentic, and to always keep it classy. My mom loved us to the ends of the earth. She took motherhood seriously and felt a responsibility to raise women who were strong, balanced, and maximized their intelligence. Perhaps her high school experience was the culprit. All three of her daughters have careers in science, a medical doctor, a doctor of plant science, and a cardiology technology manager. Mom was a wise and rather brilliant woman who actually dropped out of high school after her math teacher scolded her in front of her class for solving a math problem in a different manner. She did have the correct answer but never wanted to go back to school after that experience.
?My mom received her GED about ten years ago. Because of her wit and ability to connect with people, she was able to make a decent living in retail, working for a department store. She always took impeccable care of us, both emotionally and physically. She loved us, treating us like queens, and always dressed in the nicest matching clothes. She would also remind us to do good things for ourselves, to be good to others, and to keep ourselves in the equation as we planned our lives. When I became a mother, she was the constant voice in my ear reminding me to take care of myself, not to lose myself, and to find time to nurture. I did not always listen, but somehow when you train a child … it comes through. When I graduated with my Ph.D., it was completed in honor of my mother. In the second year of my graduate studies, I received a call that changed my life. Diagnosed with four blockages in her heart and after urgent heart surgery, Mom never recovered. With all of the might inside of me, I returned from her funeral and focused on completing my degree because that is what I knew she would have wanted…as her words ”Take care of yourself, Jeneen” … stay permanently within my mind!
As time has gone on, I have recognized a very important thread that ran through the advice of my mom, dad, and grandma: As a person with a life calling of giving, it is critical to take time for yourself to refuel and nurture. It’s not easy, and I used to feel guilty for doing so, but I finally realized that we cannot run on fumes. The collective wisdom they shared with me: Take care of yourself so that you can live a full life, love others, be happy, and get better every day. It has taken me fifty years, but now … I finally understand and give thanks for the powerful lives they lived and the lessons etched in my heart and in my mind.
About Dr. Jeneen Fields: Dr. Jeneen Fields is a research scientist in the Department of Botany and Plant Pathology at Purdue University. She instructs the largest foundational plant science course for the department and inspires students to become more curious and expand their knowledge. She also leads the innovative Women In Agriculture course, which serves freshmen women future leaders across Purdue University’s College of Agriculture. She leads an annual Study Abroad Course to Peru, which gives students the opportunity to explore 120 agriculture in over seventy-five micro-climates across the country. Dr. Fields has been recognized for her research as a winner of two national research awards and fully funded research grants. She is the honored recipient of the 2019 Purdue Real-World Experience Award for her diligent and creative leadership of the Women In Agriculture course. Dr. Fields is an alumnus of Penn State University (BS) and Alabama A&M University (MS). She earned her doctoral degree in plant breeding and genetics from the University of Tennessee and is believed to be the first African American woman in the nation to receive a Ph.D. in plant breeding and genetics.