Tactics to Help Catch Cheating Spouses

One of the most painful things in life is to suspect that your spouse is cheating you. The uncertainty about whether your spouse is being faithful or not can drive almost anyone crazy. This worry may leave you awake at night wondering that you've done wrong or if you ignored the warning signs. It can even affect your job and your other relationships. If you are interested in finding out whether your spouse is cheating you or not, the following tactics may help catch a cheating spouse red-handed:

Keep Track of Credit Card Charges 

One of the effective ways to catch a cheating spouse is to review his/her credit card charges. If the charges on the statement appear strange to you, you might consider contacting the company and inquiring about what the charges were for or what was purchased. If it was for something suspicious like a romantic dinner or gifts that were not for you, it should be a huge warning sign.

Review Cell Phone Records and Text Messages

Mobile phones have made it easier for spouses to cheat but more difficult for them to hide their secrets. If you get (legal) access to your spouse's cell phone, you can review the outgoing and incoming calls. You should look for repeated calls to and from unknown or unfamiliar numbers. Similarly, you might want to review your spouse's text messages regularly to see if you notice anything inappropriate or unusual.

If you have reason for concern, you may consider using caller ID spoofing* to contact the suspicious numbers to which your spouse has called or sent text messages. You can also use an online reverse number look-up service to try to identify the person to whom the number belongs. If your partner keeps his/her cell phone locked or hidden to avoid any kind of suspicion, that is likely reason for suspicion in and of itself. 

Sudden Changes in Lifestyle or Appearance

You should also look for variations or changes in your partner's lifestyle or appearance. If he/she suddenly begins going to a gym, working out, or going on a diet, it might be done in an effort to catch or impress another person. Similarly, sudden changes in attire or appearance may also signal the intent to attract or impress someone else.

Pretend to Believe the Lame Excuses 

If your spouse suddenly use the excuse of working late, traveling out of town on business for a company that has never sent him before, you will probably be better off initially pretending to go along with the story. Next time when your spouse makes excuses of working late, make a surprise visit to his/her work place to see if he/she is there (and if so, with whom). If he/she plans to go on a business trip, tell your spouse that you would like to accompany him/her and see what type of response you receive. 

Keep Track of Behavioral Changes

You could notice a few changes in your spouse wherein he/she shows awkward behavior which is entirely different from his or her earlier ones. Some of the peculiar reactions could include becoming outraged over small issues or ignoring responsibilities completely. Also, spouses sometimes stop communicating altogether just to hide their cheating. Sometimes your spouse may even accuse you of cheating, even though you have never committed such an act, just to defend him or herself.

Forgetting or Ignoring Important Events

Cheating spouses often forget important events in your life, such as you wedding anniversary, your children's birthdays, or other important events. Your spouse may no longer show the same love and affection toward you as before or perhaps even appear to care for you at all. When asked for a valid reason, he or she might simply explode or ignore the situation.

Consider Keystroke Loggers*

A cheating spouse could use other methods to interact with his/her lover. If your partner is using emails or instant messages to communicate with his/her paramour, you might be tempted to install a “keystroke logger” on your computer, which is software that can help uncover such communication.

Hire a Private Investigator

The best strategy to catch a cheating spouse is to hire an experienced professional private investigator. The services they offer can include surveillance, vehicle (GPS) tracking, web activities monitoring, computer forensics, email traces, asset searches, and other research into the person your spouse might be seeing.

* NOTE: You should always consult an attorney in your jurisdiction to determine the legality of these methods/tactics before engaging in such courses of action, as they may be illegal where you live and could subject you to criminal prosecution and/or civil liability. 

Use the above tactics to help discover the truth, and be sure to consult an experienced family law attorney sooner rather than later to help guide you through the process. Knowing the proper steps to take (and the best time to take them) can make the difference between a successful outcome in your case and a catastrophe. Don't be under the false impression that the problem will resolve by itself.

The Stevens Firm, P.A. - Family Law Center has provided exceptional legal counsel and support to families throughout South Carolina for well over two decades, handling all matters of family law, such as child custody, child support, and divorce, including complex cases. We are well-equipped to handle all family law matters, no matter your circumstances. Contact us at (864) 598-9172 to schedule an initial consultation. 

About the Author: J. Benjamin Stevens

Aggressive, creative, and compassionate are words Ben Stevens' colleagues freely use to describe him as a divorce and family law attorney. Ben is a National Vice President and Fellow in the prestigious American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, a Fellow in the International Academy of Family Lawyers, and a Board Certified Family Trial Advocate by the National Board of Trial Advocates. He is one of only two attorneys in South Carolina with all three of these distinctions.