Tabula Rasa, the unwritten slate

I have been often asked if, I can do life coaching for children, by eager, caring loving, well-meaning parents. They of course want the best for their child, unfortunately I cannot fulfill their wishes and join hands with them in fixing something that has no need to be fixed.

However, my answer usually is that, I can certainly coach the parents. And this they don't like.

If, we go back to human development, from Freud to Erickson to Carl Rogers to Albert Bandura, all have emphasize upon the impact of experiences in human development. The two are inseparable.

Children learn from the environment, through observational learning and hence, the care takers of the tiny tots, have a unique privilege of writing on this clean slate. In my mind, we are writing on Tabula Rasa, a blank slate, and hence they need to think deep and hard about what gets written on it.

Let me tell you a real story, I use Uber a lot and pay through the wallet. On one such occasion, when the ride was finished, I got off and walked away, till I heard the cabbie shouting for me “madam, you need to pay”. I had shifted my payment mode to cash, a few days ago and had forgotten to shift it back to the wallet. Now the payment could only be made in cash, which I had very less. I was falling short of Rs. 200.00 and was absolutely at my wits end what to do, till I heard someone ask me what the issue was. I told her the situations. She pulled out Rs. 200.00 and gave them to me. I was further embarrassed and started to deny, when she said “Let me tell you something before you refuse”.

“My mother is in the hospital with cancer. I visit her every day and bring her flowers. I went this morning, and she got mad at me for spending my money on flowers. She demanded that I do something useful with that money than waste it on flowers. So, here, please accept this. It is my mother’s flowers.” (I of course accepted)

I am reminded of the story, as I think, here was a daughter, who was emulating her parent’s principles and values. She, I am sure, had seen her mother reach out to people in the hour of need many times while gowning up and later as well, and was not just doing what her sick mother wanted but was living the value that she had seen over the years. (I can tell you countless occasions from my own life, where I emulate my parent’s values, which were never told to me, but I learnt from observing them, while growing up).

With children it is “monkey see monkey do” kind of principle, considering that, it becomes very essential that they see and observe an environment and actions that tally with the words being spoken to them. Only then will they believe us.

Children learn from our actions more than our words.

Parenting is THE biggest responsibilities, one can shoulder. We are creating the future inhabitants of this planet, who will make this world a better or worst place, basis what they have learned from us.

That’s why when I am asked to coach a child, what I hear is, a parent saying “can you coach me to be a parent”…

To be the shining beacon for our young ones, we have to stop and think… are we taking our life from Good to Great? So that they too can learn to constantly strive to do more...

Happy Living

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I am a life and personal branding coach and practice from Mumbai India. Please do let me know if my blog has supported you any manner.

If you wish to take steps towards your success and take your life from Good to Great, please do connect with me and take a complimentary Life Coaching session. Write to me at [email protected]

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