Table for One: Solo travel can lead to self discovery and independence

“Just one, please.”??

My confidence as a solo adventurer grew as I uttered those three words at a sidewalk café in Munich recently. The restaurateur's single-word reply emboldened me even more: "Perfecto!"

Dining alone, exploring alone, and traveling to Europe alone was, indeed, a perfect experience that unlocked a new, unexpected feeling of confidence in myself.? The idea of traveling internationally without a travel partner was beyond anything I had ever considered (even if family would be greeting me at my destination). ?But my heart was telling me that I needed time with my son who lives in Germany and, as we moms tend to do, I followed my instinct and made plans for a trip to Munich.? All by myself.

As I planned my trip, just a few weeks in advance, one of my goals was to spend a day out and about without someone else to lean on. Even though I’d already been to Munich twice, my previous trips had been something like riding in the passenger seat on a long journey.? I enjoyed the view and generally knew where I was, but I wasn’t in charge.? I didn’t need to know all the turns, the exact spots for boarding or exiting the U-Bahn, all the places to grab lunch.? This day was different.?

The clock was ticking well past noon that day in Munich’s city center, Marienplatz, and I’d finally found what I was looking for: an Italian restaurant! I was hungry and had had my fill of German food, as much as I do love schnitzel.? I was ready for some pasta!??

Exploring Alone Brings New Independence

As I sat there by myself, savoring a glass of wine and the best lasagna I’d ever had, I watched the world pass by on the sidewalk beside me.? I doubt anyone noticed, but there was a lot going on at that table for one.? Look at me, I thought.? I’m doing this all on my own!?

I was pleased to be able to stumble through some basic exchanges in German while shopping and getting lunch ("Wie viel kostet das?" or "How much does this cost?" came in very handy!). The real test came when I was heading back to the apartment and accidentally jumped on a U-Bahn going in the wrong direction. The train numbers matched my route, but the destination showed unfamiliar neighborhoods. I froze. For a second, I wondered what people would think if I ran out the doors at the last second. Finally, I thought, "Who cares!" and jumped out right before the doors closed.

After taking a deep breath, I walked around, found the subway going in the right direction, and made it back to the apartment without further issue. People who use subway systems experience or see this all the time, and it’s not a big deal. For me, it was proof that I could correct course and find my way on my own.

Tips for Safe Travel on Your Own

While this trip was significant for me personally, I was surprised to hear many friends agree that traveling alone is a big step for most people.

A friend of mine, Heidi Theis, who owns Benvenuto Travel Design Firm, mentioned that it's not uncommon for women who have experienced significant life changes to crave solo travel and adventures. This desire often stems from a need to push personal boundaries and spread their wings. Traveling alone, she said, also allows for added flexibility and independence. "You can change your mind without needing someone else's input; you can sleep in or lounge by the pool all day if you like," she said.

Heidi’s first step in working with a woman planning a solo trip is to understand the client's end goal, along with her confidence and self-reliance. One of her clients chose to explore the Grand Canyon in a biplane, and on another trip, they arranged for a driver to take her on a Pacific Coast Highway tour. Such creative ideas! Some women, Heidi said, prefer to travel as part of a group tour with others who have similar interests, allowing for independence while still traveling with a group.

Safety should be top of mind for anyone considering traveling alone.? Heidi has some specific recommendations, including:

·????? Stay in a well-lit, popular location with businesses that are open into the evening

·????? Book hotels with a front desk that is staffed 24/7

·????? Use hotel room safety gadgets such as a portable door alarm

·????? Keep your phone well-charged and get an international calling plan

·????? Use hotel room safety gadgets such as a portable door alarm

·????? Have your destination country’s phone and address for the U.S. Consulate phone number in your favorites

Whether you have plans for a big international adventure, or a trip to the central coast, I wish you the same feeling of liberation and self-confidence I experienced on my trip.? I’m not sure I’m ready for a biplane experience, but I am ready to think outside the box when it comes to travel and, for that matter, life. As I continue with my philosophy of seizing the day, I’ve discovered that travel, both near and far, can be a very important part of doing just that.