Table Manners and Dining Etiquette
Table manners are the rules used while eating, which may also include the use of utensils. Different cultures observe different rules for table manners. Each family or group sets its own standards for how strictly these rules are to be used. Even when it's just you and your family having a meal together, you still want to set an example for your kids.
Dining Out
Although dining out has become more casual, it still isn't acceptable to talk with your mouth full of food, rock the table with your elbows, or interfere with other diners' experiences by displaying improper etiquette. It's important to follow certain?manners guidelines?in both formal settings and fast food restaurants.
Learn Table Manners Basic
Table manners are important in both?professional and social?situations, so it's a good idea to know some basics. There may be some slight variations, depending on your region and what is locally acceptable. So if you are at a?dinner party, pay close attention to the host or hostess and take cues from them.
Whether no one ever taught you dining etiquette or you've forgotten what you learned, here are some tips to show that you know how to behave at the table. Using?proper etiquette?at the table will also help you socially and professionally?in a restaurant?or in someone's home.
Before the Dinner
If you are invited to have dinner with someone, it is always a good idea to respond, even if?an RSVP?is not requested. This helps with planning. Don’t ask if you can?bring extra guests?if the invitation doesn’t make the offer. However, if your family is invited to someone’s home for dinner, it is okay to ask if your children are included. If they are, make sure your children know?good manners?before they go.
Gift
When you are dining at the home of a friend, it is a good idea to bring a host or?hostess gift. Don’t expect your gift to be used during the meal. Most?dinner parties?have carefully planned menu items, and your gift may not go with the meal.
Getting Started
Some dinner parties are formal and have place cards where the host or hostess wants you to sit. If not, ask if there are seating preferences. Wait until the host sits before you do. In some cultures, a blessing will be said. Even if you don’t follow the beliefs of the prayer, show respect and be silent. If the host offers a toast, lift your glass. It is not necessary to “clink” someone else’s glass.
Napkin
As soon as you sit down, turn to your host or hostess and take a cue for when to begin. Once the host unfolds his or her napkin, you should remove your napkin from the table or plate, and place it on your lap. If you are dining out, you should place your napkin in your lap immediately after you sit down.
Keep your?napkin in your lap?until you are finished eating. If you must get up at any time during the meal and plan to return, place the napkin on either side of your plate. After you are finished, place your napkin on the table to the left of your plate.
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When to Eat
If you are eating out, you should wait until all the members of your group have been served before picking up your fork. At a private dinner, observe the host or hostess and pick up your fork when he or she does. However, if you are at a buffet, you may start when there are others seated at your table.
Silverware
One of the most common issues to confuse today’s diners is?which utensil?to use for each course. A typical rule of thumb is to start with the utensil that is farthest from your plate and work your way toward the center of your place setting.
If you see the host or hostess doing something different, you may follow his or her lead. The important thing is to remain as inconspicuous as possible. You don't want to call negative attention to yourself.
Food
For dinners where food is served at the table, the dishes should be passed in a counter-clockwise flow. Never reach across the table for anything. Instead, ask that condiments be passed from the person closest to the item. Salt and pepper should be passed together. Always use serving utensils and not your own to lift food from the serving dish.
Eating
Table manners were designed to keep people from scarfing food down like animals, so learn them before you eat with others. One of the most important things to keep in mind is that you should never call attention to yourself by?blatantly breaking the rules?set by society.
Here are some essential?dining etiquette?rules that you should follow:
After the Meal
After you finish eating, partially fold your napkin and place it to the left of your plate. Wait until the host or hostess signals that the meal is over, and then you may stand. After the meal is over, don’t eat and run. If nothing is planned after dinner, stick around for approximately an hour before saying good-bye to the host and thanking him or her for the dinner. If the event is informal, you may offer to help clean up.
Etiquette of Knife and Fork
Later
Always send the host or hostess a?thank you note?or card in the mail, and don’t wait more than a day or two after the event. Address the host or hostess, thank him or her for the lovely dinner, and add another short, positive comment to show your appreciation. Your note may be brief but heartfelt.
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