T+1 The Transition After Action Report

Whether you want it or not, this is my last transition blog.?Things didn’t go exactly as I expected, but what in life does go completely as expected.?As a guy with three divorces under their belt I’ll tell you what goes completely as expected…NOTHING!!! ??Just because it didn’t go as expected doesn’t mean it wasn’t a positive thing and didn’t mean you didn’t learn stuff along the way, about yourself, your life and about transition/retirement.?The problem with transition though is you only get to do it once, so once you learn what you did right and wrong…there’s only one thing to do, pass that knowledge on.?So here we go with the After Action Repot and the Lessons Observed.??I don’t get to do this again so it’s up to you to turn Lessons Observed into Lessons Learned.

??????????????T-12 The Decision:?So way back when I started these blogs 13 months ago, I made the decision to leave the military based on a bunch of factors: family, pay, career prospects, location, following a dream, and the “are you happy?” question.?So quick review…Family/location: I get to work from home in my new job in Colorado Springs, a place that I’ve grown to love almost more than Texas(those of you who know me, know how shocking that is for me to say).?I promised my kids when we moved here they would only have to move if they wanted to, and they would finish high school here if they wanted to.?They want to.?I love it here.?We’re staying, this was a good call.?Career Prospects & Following a Dream: ?I said I wanted to be doing and not leading a year ago…I am.?I’m a Senior Product Security Engineer with Boeing with a Red Team / Attack Simulation focus.?I’m excited about the work and I’m not managing which has significantly reduced my stress and availability to my family.?I’m also learning and growing technically every day which was my real dream.?Pay:?Yeah, pay’s pretty great!?I’m well compensated for my work??Am I happy? ?Well, I can tell you I wasn’t really happy in my old job and that had secondary effects.?I’m happier now, but when we get to Mental Health we’ll dig into this one more.??LESSONS OBSERVED: ?If you make the decision for the right reasons, you’ll be satisfied with your decision.?It won’t mean you won’t miss it.?There’s days where I do, but you’ll be looking forward instead of backward.??Don’t leave for spite.?Don’t leave because you didn’t get something you wanted.?Leave on your terms!

??????????????T-11 Just Because It’s Like Riding a Bike…Doesn’t mean You won’t fall on Your Ass:??I talked about my desires to work penetration testing and Red Teaming.?I talked about multiple failures I had on technical challenges and early job application processes.?Well, I still got the job I wanted, and I’m still doing Red Teaming and penetration testing SME work.?I learned that I may not ever be the greatest penetration tester, but I know what needs to be done, I know how to inform leadership, and I’m really good at vulnerability/reconnaissance analysis and open-source intelligence. ?LESSONS OBSERVED:?If you have a PASSION for something, your strengths WILL come out!?You don’t have a passion for things you completely SUCK AT!?I figured out what aspects of penetration testing & vulnerability management, I am good at and worked into a role that seems to be a great fit for those things. ?I think I’ve found myself in a good place following my dream.

??????????????T-10 THOUGHTS ON TAP:??TAP is great! It’s still great.?However, no matter how good your notes are, no matter how many times you take TAP…you’ll forget things.?Look around at TAP or your?office for others that are retiring and do it together.?I’m eternally grateful that I had Kapono Bangay?to go through retirement with and a slew of retired officers and SNCOs in my office to gain knowledge from. ??LESSONS OBSERVED:?Take good notes in TAP.?Go to TAP 18 months out from when you might make the decision.?Then go again inside a year.?Take better notes.??USE YOUR FRIENDS, GET A RETIREMENT BUDDY (shout out Kapono Bangay) AND BOUNCE IDEAS OFF EACH OTHER.

??????????????T-09 MENTAL HEALTH IN TRANSITION AND KNOWING YOURSELF:?I’ve touched on this topic a bunch of times in different ways and I think if you’ve read my previous articles from the beginning there is a subtext of mental wellness in everything I write.??Here is the reality as it stands on 5 April 2022.?I’m in a really good place.?I see a therapist, once a week.?I take my medications as directed, I watch my diet,?I workout, ?I meditate, I read, and most of all I ponder the question often “Who am I?” What I’ve learned after a year of thinking about it is…you’re never done.?But it helps to ask yourself at every opportunity.?Is this who I want to be??Does this meet my subtext of what a healthy version of me should be????I’m not proud of this, but I have a 70% disability rating for my mental health.??A history of worry, depression, anxiety, PTSD, self-medication and nightmares that have haunted me for a long time turned into my major medical disability with the VA.??I’ve lost relationships, friendships and respect at work because of how I let mental health interfere with my life.?I realize now I have to deal with my shit, it’s no one else’s problem (but it’s also okay to be okay with not allowing people in who have a problem with it).?I also believe it is my responsibility to use that compensation to help my situation…I happily hand over my co-pay to my therapist every week.?I’m not interested in VA care, because I switched therapists 6 times in the last 18 months…I have no desire to do that again.?It’s also not lost on me that the VA is compensating me because they think my mental health has a high-likelihood of fucking up my professional and personal life.?I want to be better in this next chapter not worse, so I’m going to keep focusing on my mental health, reducing stress, and dealing with my depression and anxiety.?LESSONS OBSERVED:??Get seen for your mental health.?The people that don’t understand aren’t worth your time.?You also aren’t a victim, you have a responsibility to fix yourself so you can be better to the people you care about.??Get treatment.?You’ll never be fixed, but keep learning about you every day.?Choose people that don’t fill a void of your own self-worth, instead choose people that have similar goals and wish to grow as themselves and with you.?Finally, the money from the VA is there because they don’t think you can handle yourself…prove the VA wrong.

??????????????T-08 PATIENCE:??I had a lull around 7-8 months out where everything on the job side stopped.?Nobody wanted to talk to me.?Everyone told me to wait until 2 months out from my start date to start really looking.?I was sweating.??Interestingly enough though, this is when I started reaching out to contacts, colleagues, and colleagues of colleagues for help.??Within 60 days of writing this article I had a job in hand six months out from my retirement and four months out from my desired start date.?That’s pretty great.??LESSONS OBSERVED: ?Patience is a thing.?Most employers won’t interview you until 2-3 months out.??That’s why you should interview way early with the knowledge that those jobs aren’t going to come through.?They are practice.??6-9 months out start working your contacts…you’d be surprised who’s got jobs available and it’s time to set the market.?There’s no reason you can’t find the right job a few months out, BUT…just know that the sweet spot is 30-60 days from start for most jobs AND they hire for the opening not for you.??This isn’t picks 10-20 in the NBA draft where they are hiring best available.?They are filling needs, and if your skill doesn’t meet the need…they ain’t hiring you.?No hard feelings.?It’s how it is.

??????????????T-07 Go See A Doctor:?If you are reading this before year 18 of the military, I encourage you to go see your doctor TODAY.??Why? For all the things that are wrong with you that you aren’t saying because you are toughing it out.?Don’t want to be seen as a slacker or any of the other bullshit reasons military folks don’t get themselves seen.?Look, there’s a lot of things wrong with me, but did I get a lot of results from the VA for them…nope!??Why???I don’t have a long line of documentation for any of them.?I literally have a quote in my file, “Patient will need a hip replacement by age 50”, BUT…did I do the follow up MRI two years later as directed, nope.?Did I get the MRI that was ordered on the other hip, nope.??Nope.?I was lazy, and therefore even though I hurt in most of my joints…most of it will not be service connected (some of it is, so don’t cry for me).?LESSONS OBSERVED: ?Go early, go often.?Build a case of the things that are wrong with you.??You aren’t a slacker, you are trying to heal.?There’s nothing wrong with that despite our shitty culture in the military that ostracizes folks for healing.??There’s not much you can do in the last year if you haven’t built the case prior…sorry, it sucks but it’s what it is.

??????????????T-06 Bet on Yourself:?Seriously, just go back and read that article; it’s the one article that doesn’t require a follow-on.?I’m two months into my new product security engineering job and I like it a lot.?Now, the one thing I’ve learned is that every job takes time to really get into and a factor you need to take into account is organizational culture.?I’m glad I work for Boeing, A big company that has a lot of the organizational trappings that I’m used to, and I remind myself every day that this is what I need in transition.?You may be different.??Now it’s a different than the Air Force, but it’s similar.?I’m not a manager and I need to slow down and be what my role requires…a SME.?I’ve wanted to be just a SME for years…so now just go be one.?I’ve got everything I want.?LESSONS OBSERVED:?GO READ THE ARTICLE…IT’S THE ONE ARTICLE THAT I’M JUST STRAIGHT AWESOMELY SPOT ON ABOUT!

??????????????T-05 VA MEDICAL APPOINTMENTS: ??So,?here’s the results of the VA medical appointments.?I’m a 100% disabled veteran. ?That’s a bittersweet thing for me to say.?Go up about a page and I document that the big one was mental health, but both shoulders, both hips, both knees, and one ankle all came back with ratings that eventually equaled 100% by the weird VA rating math.??Here’s the good part:?it’s a lot of tax free cash and benefits to my me and my kids that will help all of us and offset some of my bad financial/personal decisions over the last 21 years.?Here’s the bad news:?THE VA THINKS I’M SO FUCKED UP THEY DON’T THINK I CAN FUNCTION IN SOCIETY AND NEED THIS MONEY TO GET BY WITHOUT FUCKING UP MY LIFE.??That’s kind of insulting, but also insightful…I have some deep mental health issues that need work and can adversely affect my life if I’m not working on them actively.?My shoulders and hips will probably not hold up past 50, and we haven’t even gotten to the burn pits or the plate in my face that happened after my VA appointments while I was still on active duty. ?The DAV was amazing to me and guided me through this whole process.?I don’t figure this out without them.?They are gangsters who know the process and fight for every vet and the benefits of this rating are directly about them walking their folks through the process. ??Lessons Observed:?Tell the VA exam doctor everything!??They are trying to make you whole again…don’t push through.??Just because you have a high VA rating doesn’t mean you are “broken” and doesn’t give you an excuse to act that way.???Act like a person who doesn’t have problems so you can live a long healthy life despite your problems; take care of yourself.??Finally, join the DAV, let them help you, and then after they do (because they will) give back!?Join your local DAV and start helping other vets.

??????????????T-04 STATE OF THANKS:??This one is as true now as it was when I wrote it.?You need to thank the people that are helping you through the process.?Your Truest Friends, your cheerleaders, your resources, your peers, your muses, your counterpoints.?Every one of them is super important.??I’ll take the moment to shout out Bryan Clowe again.?He is my truest friend in the world.?That dude calls me every day on his commute home and it helps me everyday talk through my new role.?Hear his challenges and work through whatever the hell either of us have going on.??A special shout out to the muses for being inspiring and shifting perspectives, the key is knowing that the shift in mindset is the gift…not whatever the hell else is going on with the muse or you’ll over think the muse.?And again…thanks Highlands Ranch EMS and Dr. Winkler for bolting my face back together!?(Also, F* that ER nurse who turned me in to Child Protective Services for getting into a car accident and having a medical issue..that crap still isn’t resolved)

??????????????T-03 NEW YEAR, NEW YOU…TERMINAL WELL SPENT:?So what did I really do…I didn’t travel because of my medical stuff with my accident.??I didn’t write like I wanted to.?It turned out that being on drugs wasn’t great for my creativity (who gets addicted to these fucking prescription opiates? they suck…you can’t think, feel, poop or cum.?They are the worst!!!). ?As for the writing, I’ve got a goal and three windows set up in 2022 to actually start writing this book I’ve been thinking about since 2020. Yeah, it didn’t happen on terminal like I wanted, but it’s going to happen in the next two years.???I did take time off, and didn’t worry about anything; I just existed. ?It was kind of awesome!??I did take classes; finishing both a VOIP Traffic Analysis class and an Active Defense and Countermeasures course.?Both of which have come in handy in my first month at Boeing.?In fact, the Active Cyberdefense class is my first private sector challenge and I’m super excited about it.????I read and listened to four books (really six, but two were fiction fun books) during that time.?They all helped me learn about myself through the experiences and teachings of others.??Oh and I did double dip for a month…That was fucking awesome!?I had bursts of large sums of money just showing up…turns out that I’m a “poor” at heart though and was spending it faster than it was coming in…On good stuff, but I was getting carried away.??I’m a better person for having had the terminal time.?LESSONS OBSERVED: ?Don’t start overpromising your money.?You will be fine, because there’s a lot coming in, but maybe BUDGET!?(@beautifulbudget on Instagram, if you need help, she’s a genius).?Travel, write, read, take time off, meditate, workout, live and most importantly…SET NEW GOALS FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER.

??????????????T-02/1 Retirement Ceremony:?It was one of the best moments of my life.??I’m glad it happened.?I’m glad I got to let my light burn bright before the Air Force snuffed it out.??Maybe some day I’ll post the speech I wrote even though what I said ended up being about 50% different.?I talked a lot.?Mirielle (my officiant) talked a lot.??As my friend Ris said, “I’ve been to General’s retirements that are shorter…and they had a band!”?Well, fuck it, I don’t care.?Mirielle talked about me because she’s one of my best friends.?And then I talked about my career and family because they mean the world to me.?My boys said it was one of their best moments.?I contend it was one of my best moments in my life.?I’m happy that I had that moment.?I’m sad some people weren’t there (some of my own doing, some of their doing), but ultimately it was a great moment in my life that I will cherish behind only the birth of each one of my sons and the first time Danny called me “Dad”.??That doesn’t happen with all the people I mentioned by name in the article.??LESSONS OBSERVED: ?Get a Jenny Livingston, someone who knows what a retirement should look like and won’t let it not go any other way.?She made it all happen.?Make it your own…if you want an atheist to give your invocation, fucking do it!?He probably will give a better invocation than some lame ass chaplain.?Have your friends send you off (officiant, proffer, narrator, etc), it will mean more to you that important people in your career were the ones who opened the gate to the pasture you’re going out to.??Finally be genuinely and authentically YOU!?If it takes 43 minutes (like it did for me) then it takes that time.?If people are pissed about it…fuck them they could leave!?If your officiant talks about you for 35 minutes (like mine did) maybe it’s because you deserved 35 minutes from her.??If your post ceremony party is a houseparty of fraternity level debauchery with a short drive by at a local brewery…maybe you’ve just got cooler friends than everyone else. (Wink!)?BE YOU!

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BOTTOM LINE:?TRANSITION IS YOUR JOURNEY.?MY JOURNEY ISN’T YOUR JOURNEY…BUT MINE WAS PRETTY FUCKING RAD!!!??PLEASE HEED THE LESSONS OBSERVED, UNDERSTAND THE MEANINGS IN THIS LAST POST, AND THANK YOU ALL FOR PASSIVELY JOINING ME ON THIS JOURNEY.?I WISH YOU ALL A SMOOTH TRANSITION…REACH OUT TO ME, I’M HAPPY TO PASS ON THE KNOWLEDGE!??THERE ARE NO LESSONS LEARNED IN TRANSITION BECAUSE YOU DON’T GET TO DO IT AGAIN…ALL YOU CAN DO IS OBSERVE YOUR LESSONS AND HOPE OTHERS HEED.

Thank you to those who’ve read all of these and provided me feedback.?This has been a very personal process, but at the same time something I’ve thoroughly enjoyed and been humbled by (writing is hard).??Best of luck to you all. ??