Tête-à-Tête ft. Richa Singh

As the first womenpreneur of her family, Richa Singh, my partner at work and life, finally agreed to ‘spill the beans’ on her journey and give me exclusive “behind the scenes” bytes into the lesser-known side of her story.?

As I bring to the table a glimpse of Richa - The Womanpreneur, and Richa- The Family Person together in a candid conversation, let me skip straight to the conversation and get going.

1. You never had an entrepreneur in your family before yourself. How did you feel when you considered entrepreneurship, that too, in a not-so-proven category?

Richa: You're right, I never had an entrepreneur in my family nor did I come from an MBA background.? Forget entrepreneurship, a private job was in itself a big thing for my parents who come from a government job background.?

The idea behind YourDOST had always been with me as a problem I was interested in solving and something I really cared about. Before the big step, there's an analysis I did in my mind that further convinced me that-

• Hard work is something I’m not afraid of.
• People are generally scared of job security but I knew that I’ll get something. Worst case, I might not be paid as much as my classmates, but my needs are not very high either.?
• If I don't take the step, I'd regret it later especially when I'd be 60-70 years old?

2. Do you think women fear taking the ‘first’ step as it is a much challenging responsibility and there are stigmas attached??

I feel women fear taking the step a lot more than men. People will probably blame it on society but I believe that’s just half the problem. The other half is “WE, OURSELVES!”...

I think if you can tell yourself that 'I can do it or 'I can build a billion-dollar company - that's where it starts. I think men are more confident to say that.?

I still remember interviewing a girl who was 24-25 around that time and people had only begun to look for her marriage. She kept negotiating with me on terms like, "What if I get married?", "How will you take it?", "Will I get work from home?", etc. And I was like, it’s not even there in the cards yet. She still insisted that we don’t give her a high profile because that would impact the team's performance.

She ended up staying here for 3-3.5 years and just got married last year. That’s like 6-7 years of your time spent on anticipating and not doing stuff. I have seen that for various women.?

Somewhere the confidence that "I can be who I want to be" is less for women with the way most were brought up too. I know many women who have left their jobs because their families didn’t allow them.?

I was fortunate enough to have both my parents working. Seeing both of them being career oriented, balancing work and life/ kids, it came naturally to me I believe!

Having supportive people is great but as women, we’ll also have to say that - “I want to be this and this is important for who I am." Whether you succeed or don't, that's a different story altogether.?

3. How did people react to you leaving a secured job and starting a company right before marriage??

I don’t think I gave them an option. I probably just said - "This is what I am doing!"In fact, the day I quit my job, I didn’t even tell you. (Context: Richa and I have been dating since 2009, and got married in 2016, after starting YourDOST).? If you remember, you came from McKinsey on a Friday evening. You, me, and one of your managers - we were all seated on a table as I told you that I had put down my papers and a week later was my last day. What I am trying to say is that nobody was involved in my decision.?

However, if I were to point out one reaction, it would be my mom’s.. She never stayed with me for more than 7-10 days after my schooling. When she came to know, she came and stayed with me for a month. She did that only to ensure that I had thought through my decision. My brother was supportive from the start. He was like, do whatever you want - we are all there. We’ll give you 10- 20k a month to take care of your expenses.?

Initially, I was the only person involved, you hadn’t quit by that time - so the whole idea was scary for my parents. But with time, once they saw that the team is also growing and more than the team - I was consistent about doing it - they were okay. They eventually ended up asking - “Tell us how we can help?”

4. Women must prioritise 'house over work?' What are your thoughts on this??

I feel that should be a choice. If you want to do it, please go ahead but if you don’t want to do it, nobody should force you. You should not do anything because society says so. I don’t know who that society is that we do things for.

At the end of the day, it should be your choice. Let me reiterate -

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5. Has anyone ever told you that they’d rather speak to your business partner (that’s me :P)? How did you react??

The first time was when we weren’t married.

There have also been times when I am presenting and they’ll turn to you and ask questions. There are times when people say, “I want to talk to a senior” and I know what they mean, they want to talk to a guy! Sometimes, even employees are pretty honest about not being comfortable with companies run by a woman. I make sure I tell them that’s something they’ve to deal with. Over time, I have picked my battles. It does happen but it doesn’t matter to me so much.

6. Have you ever felt intimidated by being the only woman in a room?

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Even when we had planning meetings for sports, the guys would often try setting it up in the boy's hostel and I'd have to raise my voice against it. I think I trained well there. So when I came into a corporate setup and entered board rooms with hardly any women, it didn’t bother me so much. There are only IIMs where you have women leaders, no IIT has a woman director ever. So being the only woman in a room did not intimidate me any further.?

7. Do you think having a business partner husband has more cons than pros or vice versa? What are they?

It definitely has more pros. The best thing was that we worked together even before we got married. I can easily tell you what you are saying is shitty. For a lot of women, to say that to their husband is not easy, saying it to their business partner is even tougher.?

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Another reason why it is a big pro is that entrepreneurship is not a very easy journey. Sometimes it can get very lonely, and you cannot share everything with your team. So the fact that your partner also knows where you are coming from definitely helps.

8. On a personal note, I know that you hate cooking. Do you mind sharing post-marriage survival tips in our PUNJABI FOODIE FAMILY!

Haha, I wouldn't say that I hate cooking, but cooking is neither my forte, nor my priority. That’s one of the works I can delegate. (duh!) And if anybody cooks anything for me ever, I would appreciate that. You would never see me complaining-maybe I am not trained to do that.?

My mom has been working since I was 18-19 days old. I had my elder brother. So parents would cook and keep everything, and as kids, we would take and eat. Toh khana garam hona chahiye and all was not even a question for us. That’s the case even right now. "Jo bana hai, bahut achha hai." Even in hostel people would complain about the food, I never had those thoughts. Mostly it was good. Even the cook in our house is the one you select. So for me, the time spent cooking, eating, and talking about food personally is very little. Sometimes it surprises me, like fruits mein namak dalte hai, masala dalte hai, nimbu dalta hai. For me, it's like: fruit uthao, khao. That's it. I didn't even know that there are 5-6 varieties of dal, except the yellow dal. :-)

The concept of taste, I don't think ever existed in my house, but it exists in your house. It’s in fact a blessing in disguise for me. Kitchen is one place where people fight a lot and since I am not emotionally attached to it, that's not a battle I pick. I have successfully installed a culinary system in place and I'm happy about it.

9. What is one weird question that you've been asked all along, and are sure nobody would have asked if you were a man??

10. Do you feel things have changed for women entrepreneurs from the time you started?

I think yes. There are more women entrepreneurs that you can now look up to. For us, the role models were fewer. Also, women are now more vocal about their needs and have started making their own choices. They know what they want and are more open to ask for it!

There's a small incident that happened:?

10. 3 women in your life you take inspiration from - and what?

• First would be my mom, a very strong role model. She taught me that it doesn't matter what everybody is saying. If you want to do it, you should do it. If it doesn't work out, it's ok, you can still live with it. What you can't live with is you didn't do it because of a,b,c reasons.?
• Sheryl Sandberg - I have never met her though, but her books inspire me. In one of her books, she had mentioned that you have to permit yourself to use your voice. No one gives you that permission, and as a woman, it's even more important. It doesn't matter-men, women, boss-something that matters to you, you should speak up for it if it's important to you so that you are not a pushover. Something I learned from Sheryl is that we will have to define our career and it's our responsibility.
• Lakshmi Pratury, Ink Talks- The way she handles and nurtures her team is amazing.?

All these women are a reflection of my mom, who went out even at their times saying some things are important to me.