Systems, not symptoms.
Jindy Mann
There are 4 billion ways to be a man. | Men & masculinity | Leadership coach | Organisational Consultant | Advisor
Have you ever done that thing where you spend time talking about someone you don’t like, and articulating all the awful things about them? Like a political leader or a celebrity? I have.
Sometimes we do it with entire groups, like the people of a particular nation, and sometimes we do it with individual people we know. Even friends.
It’s easy to look at a person and spend time dissecting their flaws. It can even feel rewarding, like a good scratch of an itch.?
Setting aside the fact that we all have flaws (and are usually blind to our own), focussing on the person gets us nowhere. It’s better to focus on why that person is the way they are, and why we dislike it.?
All of us are the result of systems. Few of us like to think that - it’s nicer to believe that we all operate with free will and everything we do is conscious, deliberate action.?
In reality, what we do is the result of the family we came from, the school we went to, the city and country we grew up in, the places we’ve worked and so on. Each of these contexts has a culture and they fundamentally shape who we are.
The greedy banker we despise wasn’t born with a desire for wealth, he developed those values because of the systems he passed through. The politician we find repulsive was shaped by the culture of the country he grew up in. The coworker we find aggressive and rude at some point learned those behaviours as a way to succeed - or survive.
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Focussing on the person is like playing whack-a-mole. If we could make them disappear, the system would simply develop another one. And many more like them.
The system is where the real change is.?
By focussing on the system, we might actually make a difference. At the very least, we’ll understand the object of our negativity a lot better and we’ll probably learn something about ourselves too.
And what about yourself? Do you know what systems have shaped you and how? It might be better to understand the systems you’re part of instead of focussing on your symptoms.?
If we want to make a positive change, it means choosing or creating better systems that will lead to us changing who we are.
[this is an extract from my book 'We Have Everything We Need'; available on Kindle and all proceeds go to mental health charities]
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3 年It's always good to look beneath the surface ? Jindy Mann. And when we have a visceral reaction to something there is usually something deeper that's been triggered yet our immediate emotions focus on the surface - the immediate - and yes usually to blame a person! We are all part of and party to our systems - the more aware of them we are the more likely we are to be able to shape them for the better ??
Keynote speaker | Social entrepreneur | Neurodiversity training that's fun, engaging & impactful | Making environments & individuals neuroinclusive (workplaces, schools, families & more)
3 年My hope is that these moments build momentum for real change, which, as you say, is the change needed in our systems and environments. The events of the last week have been horrific, but these obvious acts of racism are arguably easier to resolve than the more subtle systemic racism. They're outrageous and undeniable, so we can look at them almost in isolation and tackle that individual event. But, as you say, that doesn't help us understand why these people behave in this way in the first place. Also, as a white person it's easy to distance myself from the overt racists in our society but far harder to do so for covert racism that literally exists everywhere because I'm part of these systems. So for us all to be truly anti-racist we really need to understand how far racism is embedded in everything we know to be able to tackle it.
Change Agitator ? Business Change done differently - better ● Capability Development ● Service Design ● Hands-on Problem Solver & Consultant ● Speaker | Podcast Host “The Change Chair” | ChgMI - Collaboration Lead
3 年I think this is what has been niggling me - maybe in a slightly different way. In my work in organisational change I explicitly refrain from seeing people who are angry or frustrated with the idea of change as resistors. Most would label them as "resistors" but my question is why do they resist. They don't just wake up and say "oh today I'm going to resist this change". There is often something deeper, more experiential to the resistance and if engaged can help uncover why their reaction to change is so visceral and perhaps address how this time it is different. The sense I have of all these posts condemning the racists is to take the position that they are resistors. They are born this way and they should be vilified. Sure we shouldn't hold them up or accept their views but perhaps we should seek more to understand and engage as to why this type of behaviour exists. What experiences have they had, what stories do they have to tell. I have been on the receiving end of racial abuse - granted nothing like this but my experience is that men who perpetrate this have been marginalised, made to feel worthless or powerless in a capitalist environment and only been taught violence gains respect. That's sad but its survival.
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3 年I agree that the systems we grow up within will shape us, and it is very hard to even be conscious about this. I still strongly believe, however, that it is up to the individual (and an obligation, as far as I'm concerned) to try and understand these systems and the biases and lenses it has created within you, and to actively reject and reshape the facets that don't marry with your moral framework. The latter obviously means having to develop, understand and live your own moral framework. When looking at the racist remarks made after Sunday's game, I think this is what is missing - deciding how to act during hardship and sticking with it is really hard and only rewarding to yourself, so why bother. The next guy is an a**hole so why can't I be?
There are 4 billion ways to be a man. | Men & masculinity | Leadership coach | Organisational Consultant | Advisor
3 年I'd love to hear your thoughts Kate Franklin Elise Finn Elle Harrison Jessica Gregson James Gairdner Ket Patel Jessica Meredith