Systematic desensitization (Part I)
Developing high-performance teams
at PMI Croatia Chapter PMI Forum 2024 November 13-15th, Zagreb
What's going on?
“It’s not fair,” says one team member. “I’m overwhelmed; the work is incredibly challenging,” adds another. “I’m bored; the work isn’t challenging at all,” interjects someone else. “The deadlines are too short.” “The pressure is intense.” “There are so many different tasks.” “The people can be difficult.” “It’s so much better at other companies.” “It’s toxic here.” And the list goes on. You know it, right? At this point, we are likely referring to some Millennial and Gen Z team members, and the idea of “gradually exposing them to anxiety-provoking stimuli in a controlled and incremental manner” could benefit everyone: them, their teams, their managers, romantic partners, and parents—essentially society as a whole. This assumption isn't entirely misguided; they could certainly benefit from some form of graduated exposure therapy in the workplace. However, it's the managers who need to grasp this concept first. In fact, it’s all of us—all generations, everyone.
What's it all about?
It’s all about at least two things. First, when times are good—when revenues are growing and demand is high—it’s easy to put ourselves at the center of attention. Our emotions, our well-being, our dramas take precedence. The unintended negative consequence of this mindset is that we inadvertently remove our clients and customers from the same focus, effectively neglecting them. Unless you operate in an industry where “the house always wins,” this perspective will ultimately bite you in the behind. If you have a parachute, meaning a strong employability, perhaps you don’t feel the urgency. But do your spoon-fed and pampered employees and team members possess the same survival attitudes and skills when hard times hit? When revenues begin to decline and demand diminishes? Reality dictates that someone will have to go; that’s just life. The question that remains is: have you done everything possible to prepare them, or...?
What's next?
The next is that second thing. Let me use the words of Coach Beard from Ted Lasso who said it perfectly: “And if you wanna pick a player’s feelings over a coach’s duty to make a point… I don’t wanna drink with someone that selfish.” This illustrates why this isn’t the Leading People series, but rather Leading Yourself. Systematic desensitization always starts with us. By us, within us. If I am a “people pleaser” who avoids conflicts, says "no" to no one, agrees to everything, and craves validation and acceptance while longing to be liked, you would know, more or less, how to respond to me. Conversely, if I am an emotionally disconnected, transactional person who views people as easily replaceable chess pieces, you would know, again more or less, how to handle that situation as well. And if you decide to do nothing… well, as we just mentioned: “I don’t wanna drink with someone that selfish.” ?? ??