Swipe Right? Why You Should Conduct an Interview as You Would a First Date

One of the challenges companies face when trying to identify top talent often times has to do with their attitude toward the hiring process. Some hiring managers view their job opening as a prize and feel that candidates should be competing for that prize. It’s been long ingrained in our society that it should be so. It harkens back to a day when you’d call your boss Mr. Smith, instead of John, while he referred to you by your last name without any salutation. Even in the 2008 recession this may have held some truth. Now, it’s time to reassess old interview habits and update to match the times.

Times have changed. We are now in a talent-driven labor market. Companies need to shift their hiring approach to reflect this change. Top talent demands to be wooed just as much as they expect to have to woo. Interviews are no longer about the interviewer sitting in judgement of the interviewee while the latter jumps through hoops to answer questions the way the interviewer thinks they should.

As a hiring manager, if you approach an interview with the wrong mindset, you’re doomed to hire mediocrity and not the top talent you’re looking to obtain. A good interview isn’t conducted as just a gauntlet of questions. It’s about building a relationship to see if the candidate is the right fit for the position and if the company is a right fit for the candidate. It’s not just about getting impressed by the candidate. It’s a conversation. It’s like a first date.

See Why You Should Conduct an Interview as You Would a First Date below.

• There’s a mutual understanding. No one is in charge. There’s just two people on equal footing—there’s mutual interest. You’re both there to get a sense of the other. You should have both done your homework on the other. It’s no different from being set up on a date and gathering all the 411 you can before that date. The date itself is about delving deeper. It’s about showing you care enough to learn about the other person. As the hiring manager, if you read the candidate's resume for the first time as they're walking through the door, it’s a sign of disrespect. If the candidate hasn’t searched the company website online, it’s the same type of disregard. The key to a successful first interview—much like a first date—-is getting the other person to let their guard down and get to the important information.
• There’s a mix of formal and casual. The interview should have an organized, yet off-the-cuff, laid back tone to it at the start. It’s an interview, not an interrogation. Each side needs to know they have something riding on the outcome. At the end, each side has to choose if they’d like to pursue a second “date.” Sometimes, you aren’t into them. Sometimes, they aren’t into you. Either way, it’s not only OK, it’s a good thing. The company saves money by eliminating those who wouldn’t fit into their culture. The candidate saves a short tenure, a lot of stress and hurting their personal brand. And sometimes, you just feel it. If it’s right, there’s a love connection, and you move on to the second date.
• There’s a level of respect. It’s time to get out of the habit of asking questions that are too personal on job interviews. A person’s greatest weakness might be something very personal to them. It invites a lie or clever language on the part of the person being interviewed. They should not have to expose themselves to you that soon. A person’s salary history is their own business. You’d never ask someone how much money they make on date and you shouldn’t ask it in an interview. Finally, it doesn’t matter if you have 10 interviews set. You treat each of them like they are the one and only. You’d never end a date by telling the person that you have 10 other dates and then you’ll decide if you’ll get back to them.

This doesn’t mean that you can’t ask probing or difficult questions. It doesn’t mean that you can’t thoroughly vet a candidate’s skills, as advertised, on their resume. You have standards for those you date and it’s OK to ask about those standards—it keeps you both from wasting time. They should have questions for you as well. Mutual vetting is part of every date and it should be part of every job interview.

The best first dates are the ones where the other person immediately puts you at ease. As an interviewer, that’s your job. What can you change to make that happen?

What are your thoughts on conducting an interview as you would a first date? Share your thoughts in the comment section below!