Swinging into January with New Year's Resolutions in the bin...

It is that time of year, you MUST get ahead of the game and put pen to paper to set those personal New Year's Resolutions to make sure you will make 2024 a success!!!

Well, no, not for me... this is actually something I am moving away from this year as I have personally found it unhealthy for my mindset.

I’ll tell you why…

I started 2023 once again with my list of big and stretching goals that I SHOULD set to give myself the satisfaction at the end of the year of saying "it’s been the best year yet!" However, one month in, I was left feeling disappointed when my "new year, new me" energy ran out and my goals were no longer things I had drive to push towards.

I approached the new year in this way because we are bombarded with messaging to encourage this, every year. It felt like the thing to do. The goals I set were big, with unidentified stepping stones - meaning they felt overwhelming ??

This year I am taking a different approach. I have taken time in the past 9 months to commit myself to consistently reassessing my goals all year round and now I no longer feel that I need a January reset to go into 2024.

?

It has been a TOTAL game changer ??

I now understand that not only do goals not need to start on January 1st each year, they also do not need to be wild and huge, they just need to be best serving and relevant to who I want to be and what I want my life to look like.

New Year's Resolutions can often feel static, and for someone that is not totally comfortable with change and is often fearful of it, I understand I need a more flexible approach. Finding myself in a position where I needed to let go of a resolution that was no longer relevant (that I had forcefully set in December each year) has historically left me feeling like I had failed and given up on it. When in reality, life is fluid and is constantly evolving, which requires flex and adjustment in what our priorities and focuses are. I have now given myself the freedom to reassess these at any one time which means that I have forged a really positive mindset shift for myself.

This approach has not come without its challenges... here is an example off the back of one of my 2023 resolutions set...

Having committed to weightlifting for a number of years I took part in yet another competition in Dec 2022, I was proud of the outcome but hit the ‘post comp slump’ a week or so later. This was fairly normal for me. Motivation was low and my mind told me if I set a new years goal, this would reignite my drive, give me focus and I would get back into the swing of it. Incoming goal of… 2 competitions in 2023.

Fast forward to the end of March my motivation had not returned, in fact it had gotten worse. My once energised training sessions were now in autopilot and I had the harsh reality that I was possibly not in love with the sport anymore. I was really heartbroken to be honest, lifting had for many years been my anchor when other big pillars of my life felt like chaos. But maybe I did not need this anchor anymore? All of what previously felt like chaos had settled, I had found my peace in life. I realised holding onto lifting was not what was best for me, so I took a clean break to see if I missed it. As it stands today, some 9 months later, I have not returned.?

I honestly believe I wouldn’t have known this was the best change at the time, had I not removed myself from the environment and realigned what was a priority for me.

So there we have the first resolution that I chucked in the bin after the first 3 months of the year. Yes, following this I have tackled, what do I want to do to keep fit and healthy? How will I be held accountable without a coach? Blah blah blah. But guess what, with the freedom of no longer having a New Years Resolution to fulfil, I could explore what was the best outcome for me. This included some trial and error… I can confirm after partaking in a Muay Thai class and leaving absolutely trembling I moved SWIFTLY onto the next experiment and have gone full circle back to my days of CrossFit (I definitely cherry pick the workouts!) ??

The lesson I learnt from this is, I need to listen to my intuition more and use that to guide me everyday to where I want to be focusing my energy. This does not mean that I do not have overarching ambitions and goals that I want to achieve in life, and you can best believe I have a rough idea of how I will get there, I am just approaching them more fluidly and not timebound within the January to December period. I accept that goals can change and that is ok - I am learning that this process can be uncomfortable but has huge rewards!

Whenever I am feeling conflicted in a goal or focus that I have identified, I ask myself the following…?

1. Do I actually really want or need to do this??
2. Who is this best serving, me, or other people??
3. Is this goal set really addressing what I want it to? (i.e. Do I really need to exercise more, or do I need to work on the relationship I have with my body?)
4. If the answer is that I want to focus on it, but it feels too overwhelming, I ask myself - how can this be more manageable, what are my stepping stones?

I am most definitely not perfect at this, but being self aware and challenging yourself with these conversations and understanding your why is super beneficial.?This post is more focused towards my overarching life/personal goals - however professionally, I review my skillset via a personal SWOT analysis every 6-8 weeks to keep the actions fresh and relevant. I'd definitely recommend!

Here’s to being kind to ourselves and finding the paths that work for us ??