'Swing-Set': Murphy's Law & the Downfall of My Film Career.

Firstly, I want to genuinely thank and appreciate everyone who helped me try to make this project. You have no idea how much it meant to me to finally be back in the directors chair on a project I had all of my faith and devotion in. I've never worked as hard on a project as I had on this. From day 1 issues arose... Actually.. I can't even begin there. This all began 7 years ago when the story of 'Swing-Set', the events that take place in the film, occur. Yes, this is a project based on a true story and the fight that 'Rose' (In Real Life) had to conquer. She struggled truthfully and painfully in the attempt of getting back to where she was before the events took place. So me complaining or explaining as to why this project might never fully come to fruition should be taken with a grain of salt.

"Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong." That is 'Murphy's Law. This 'Law' ultimately killed not only myself but my passion for film making. From our DP having to be fired, to constant on set disruptions, to running out of money in my savings.. One day, this story of attempting to make this film will be turned into a book with many more details and a more in-depth look; I can promise you that. If you believe in my promises anymore; I don't blame you, because I wouldn't either.

Advance apologies for this article. I'm not at my peak, I'm trying to climb back up and I have to start from a solid base. Getting this out there instead of holding it in, might help support the beginnings of a come back.

'Swing-Set'; A film that took nearly every ounce of my emotions and stretched them like a rubber band with no elastic. Therefore, there was only a snap before I found myself laying in bed ignoring the world, chain-smoking like a blown muffler, hating myself because I not only let everyone who took part in this project down, but also myself. This would also be a good time to mention that, while doing the pre-production for this film I found myself with this unbearable feeling that this project would be the last time I would direct again. A thought I still have to this day as I'm typing this sentence.

It goes without saying, I have never felt this depressed, hurt, and downright disappointed in myself. I am not perfect, and me saying that seems to make it even more true. As a 22 year old who has had these dreams of making movies since 8, I (to say the least) was a bit naive in believing I could take on a project so daunting. Even before I began doing this project I already had a fair share of enemies surrounding me. Ones that were actively hacking my social media sites, deleting my content, posting things I had no idea were even out there. (These are some of the things I haven't even told my family or closest friends.) So, why did I share this in an article for the world to see? Good question with an unknown answer. Honesty hits me at weird times with certain things I share. This stream of consciousness has allowed me to finally open up and I'm not changing a damn thing about this article, Grammatical errors or not (see what I did there? Capital shouldn't be where it is.)

I just don't want any young film maker (like me) decide to go in head first into a project where you feel as if you're the only one who can do it. Yes, there is an 'I' in FILM, but it's surrounded by three other letters 'F' - Friends, Family. 'L' - Love for the craft. 'M' - Money. (yeah I made that up on the spot.) That's why it's not perfect, there I go again... Back to the purpose of this paragraph, NO, you NEED people in your corner, brushing the sweat off, motivating you through cheers.. (so to speak). The Robert Rodriguez method of film making does NOT work anymore. Unless, of course you want to end up killing yourself by tasking your mind, body, and soul with too much to carry.

While I sit here with not even enough footage to create a 15 minute short I can't help but think of all the people I burnt bridges to... I honestly hope that if any of you read this just know, I set out to tell this story for one reason, and one reason alone; To spread awareness for suicides affect on those who weren't the victim and rape prevention. (Even though there are people who are already doing an immensely better job of it.)

This is it for now, One day I will add more to this post or just scrap it and do the book. I say that a lot and end up not following through. Another downfall of my own. (Re-read first paragraph if you'd like).

For now, under this post will be a select group of photographs and videos from the project I am willing to share here.