Swimming with the sharks

I was recently invited to speak once again about being a woman and how was I managing to swim and survive with the sharks.

No, I don’t and never have considered to be caught amongst sharks. We have opponents, people who may not co-operate for various reasons or outcast you, but shark would be an extreme word. And then this phrase does have a negative connotation- hits you as a “most likely fighting a losing battle”.

People don’t swim with sharks by choice- they usually happen to jump in the water- and then realize its infested, and I am using the words infested- as when caught by surprise you always feel you had the right to be in the sea- and here comes the shark “the intruder” the villain, when this happens its usually a losing game- you have been victimized.

So let’s change that game- lets accept sharks have right to be there, and you are choosing to swim with them, in our board room. The stronger you are, the quicker you are, and the more adrenalin you pump- your chances of success go up- and hence board rooms will be full of sharks.

Now you are choosing to enter their territory, so you either become one, or at least let them believe you are one of them, or become better than them- so good that they dare not mess with you. Then, there is another option of you simply camouflaging- lying low so that they don’t notice you—you might get an occasional bite- but more or less they will let you exist.

Let’s say you have chosen to swim with the sharks. It’s a choice you exercised by accepting entry to the board room. So what can you do to swim and thrive with sharks, and even swim ahead?

-         Be thorough in your work and doubly sure. Nudges, bites will only reveal how strong you are if you are thorough in your work and genuine in your approach.

-         Be equally vocal and equally participative, lying low or staying coy is an invitation for attacks or outright dismissal

-         Face it - It’s easier for men to bond with men (smoke breaks, beer breaks, washroom breaks- it happens all the time—venting, planting thoughts, show casing—I have even heard male colleagues mention—you know what I will catch him on his loo break- sounds ridiculous but yes it happens) Be quick in responding and in building your network, and you will have to do it relentlessly. If smoke breaks, and beer Fridays don’t work for you, catch up over coffee or find a way to get 1-1 time with people who matter- who help drive and make decisions and those who influence decisions.

-         Do not bleed i.e. never show injury, look despondent or loose temper revealing you are getting impacted by any of their bites or attacks- showing your vulnerability only invites more attacks and you are then fighting a losing battle

-         Sharks team up , so do men and women and there could be co –ordinated or orchestrated attacks- be watchful of those- try to get entry into sub groups that might be forming, or ensure you have a strong lobby in the board room to combat orchestrated road blocks or barriers.

-         Get out if you feel you are starting to bleed- if you can’t play the game or if its taking too much of a toll on you , find calm waters- there are plenty of calm lakes out there – small and large where you might be happier.

And this applies for men and women. Not all men and not all women like to constantly work in a table thumping, adrenalin driven environment. Choose your waters and swim where you will thrive and enjoy the occasional sunshine.

Remember, it’s always your choice. Once you choose, play to the fullest.