Swimming is Scary but I still Dive into the Swimming Pool

After Lunar New Year, I headed back to Cyberjaya from my hometown. It was a super hot sunny day that I suddenly had a thought to go to swimming pool of my condo. Every month I am paying RM170 but I have never utilised the sport facilities since I moved in for 3 years now.

I don't have any sport cell. I don't like jogging and sweat. I don't know how to play badminton. I always miss the basketball net. I have aquaphobia due to an almost drowning incident when I was 9. Since then swimming pool/ water equivalent to danger in my mind.

Few years ago, I went snorkeling during island hopping near Mantanani Island, Sabah. I held my friend's hand throughout the experience due to extreme fear of water. So now, what do I do when I go to the swimming pool of my condo?

I SLOW WALK INSIDE THE SWIMMING POOL

Just the thought of it is funny, I am the only one who does this in the swimming pool. Even small kids are swimming next to me.

In the beginning, I had to hold on tightly to the edge of the pool because it was after a very long time since I last going to a pool and I am still fear or water. I didn't dare to move an inch away from the edge of pool. I just stayed in place and had my legs to kick water.

These thoughts have had bothered me: people would laugh at me of what am I doing there (just kicking water, walking slowly and my hair never get wet) and people would stare and laugh at my body shape.

But after a few weeks now, I am still going to swimming pool on every Mon, Wed and Fri nights, to kick water and walk inside the pool, after the evening schedule of changing the pool water.

Actually the water depth level is only up to my chin, my feet can touch the ground, I can stand still in the water. When days go by, I feel more comfortable staying in the water. I could now move away from the pool edge. From walking by the edge of the pool width, now I can walk one round of the pool perimeter.

What I learned from this playing water experience:

1. This is a breakthrough for me to fight against the fear, at least it's my first baby step. Seeing myself getting more comfortable in the water and having lesser fear, this self-acknowledgment is an amazing feeling.
2. I don't need to care about what others think of me, as long as I enjoy what I do and I don't trouble them. Most of the time, what others think of me is actually how I project myself. I make up my self-limiting stories. I suppose they are rather enjoying swimming than observing me.
3. Induce creativity. I don't know swimming so I find ways to enjoy being in the water. I move my hands around while walking, sometimes jumping, and enjoy the buoyancy and resistance the water brings to me, as if I was back as a fetus.
4. I stay for 20-min every time. It's a very good exercise and I am not sweating. I breath harder staying in the water. It is more tiring than walking on the ground.
5. Mindfulness. Because I still have fear, I need to be present in the moment of breathing, pay attention to what's beneath my feet, stay focused of my body movement and remind myself that don't be panic, I just need to extend my legs and I can touch the ground.
6. Definitely will get an instructor one day. Now let me just enjoy kicking water.

Do you have similar experience that you test the water and constantly expand your limits bit by bit? Let me know in the comment.