Swimming Out of the Rip Current-Strategies to Best Navigate Troubled Waters in the Ocean, in Life and in The Family Court System
In life, and in my legal practice, I have found that it is wise not to fight rip-currents, but to swim in such manner as to try and minimize their opposition rather than to expend energy fighting through the rip-current head on. This is contrary to my nature, both as someone who loves intense litigation and as a former linebacker who reacted to every play, including drop-back passes, as a blast, i.e., my moving forward as fast and furious as possible and attacking my opposition head-on (I also played guard and was much better at that position as it was more suited to my nature).
However, against one's nature or no, a failure minimize the head on force of the rip-current can prove exhausting, and if the rip-current is large or strong enough, can cause needless death by drowning. That's because the real danger with rip currents is not that you're getting pulled away from shore, but how you react. Most swimmers will panic and try to swim against the current. They will tire quickly and soon go under. See, Loving Long Island, Rip Currents (rip tides, undertow) @ https://www.loving-long-island.com/rip-currents.html.
Knowing when to attack directly and head-on, and knowing when to employ a subtler approach is crucial to obtaining the best possible result when faced by rip-tides in the ocean and by those we face in life. In fact, this is often fundamental not only to our own safety, but also the safety and security of those we love. As a family man, I am committed to employing the best approach to ensure to the highest degree possible the safety and well-being of my family and not fight the rip-currents of life in a manner which leads to their exhaustion, frustration or harm. Though sometimes this requires a direct head-on approach, at other times it requires an approach far more subtle.
As a Family Law attorney I have learned that I must make it my priority to to know the relevant facts and legal authority crucial to navigating the best course for my clients and their families, specifically knowing when to be the direct, fierce and passionate litigator I am by nature, and when to sublimate that into a subtler approach that will be most beneficial in helping my client's and their families navigate through the often very strong, and very difficult rip-currents of life that they are facing when they come to see me.
If you are facing what appear to be insurmountable rip-currents in your life, don't be afraid to get the help you need to navigate the best course to the safety of the shore for you and your family. If these currents are of such nature as to include the Family Court, make sure you are looking to the right guide. Call an experienced, passionate, and ethical Family Law Attorney to help you get to shore without exhausting and losing everyone and everything you are fighting for because you are employing all your strength head on when a subtler approach is required. If you are not at that point but fear you may soon be, I pray you are able to employ the right approach to preclude your need to call someone like me. However, such matters are not always in our hands, and sometimes despite our best efforts and the subtlest of approaches you may need the help of a legal professional. If you do, I am here for you and ready to employ the best strategies possible to help you navigate the adversities and rip-currents of life.
Mark, for all that I have appreciated and agreed with many of your comments in this venue, may I suggest that you consider expressing a little less ego (and defensiveness), more succinctness, and a bit more tolerance and humor for comments of others. It would help support your main thesis about empathy.
Nationally Accredited Mediator, FDRP
8 年Absolutely agree that we must pick up on and address the real underlying conflict. Perhaps Sean has not articulated that very well, but from reading his post I feel confident that he is right on top of that. Still - worth clarifying our impressions ;-).
Nationally Accredited Mediator, FDRP
8 年Always a barb in the tail Mark B. Baer! I was enjoying your comment on this post of Sean's and planning to grab your links and read them later as I have a huge interest in 'surfing' life and what we can learn from approaching 'riptides' and currents, learning to adjust our approach and preserve energy in our challenges. I was jarred by your final para and what I view as an unwarranted criticism of Sean's post and apparent judgement/dismissal of his work. Sean, I read plenty in this and your other post that you do indeed delve into resolving the real 'conflict' and not just the dispute. Let's keep at these deeper approaches to conflict resolution, we're on the right track!
Educating and Helping People to Better Understand Biases, Their Impact, and How to Try and Keep Them in Check
8 年Well, Sean, back in 2013, when I was contacted to participate on a panel for the upcoming ABA Family Law section meeting with regard to collaborative divorce, I asked them if they would change the title of the program, which was titled “Navigating the Emotional Currents of Collaborative Law." The reason for my request was that I felt that all family law matters, regardless of process, involve such "emotional currents." I felt that as such, all family law attorneys would benefit from learning how to "Navigate the Emotional Currents of Family Law." I felt that the title of the program was such that it would only appeal to the small percentage of attorneys who handle are collaboratively trained and practice collaborative law or who have a potential interest in such a thing. Unfortunately, for political reasons, they would not change the title of the program. As such, the audience was exactly as I had anticipated and the ABA Family Law section knew it to be so. In fact, they gave us the smallest room and it was only 1/3 full. I published an article for that program, which can be found at the following link: https://www.americanbar.org/tools/digitalassetabstract.html/content/dam/aba/events/family_law/2013/04/section_of_familylaw2013springcleconference/13_fri_collaborative.pdf That version is slightly different than the version I published one month earlier in anticipation of the program, which can be found on the World of Collaborative Practice at the following link: https://theworldofcollaborativepractice.com/?p=1791 After participating in that program, I was contacted by the editor of the American Journal of Family Law, requesting that I submit an article on collaborative divorce for publication. I explained to him that I had just published an article on the subject and told him that I would only write an article for publication in the American Journal of Family Law if he allowed me to approach it from the direction I wanted for the ABA program itself and explained why. He agreed and responded as follows: "I am delighted that you will be writing an article for the American Journal of Family Law on the emotional aspects of Family Law. This is a subject of great interest to our audience." That article was published in the Winter 2014 edition of the American Journal of Family Law and can be found at the following link: https://www.markbaeresq.com/documents/sharp@lhmp-com_20140114_120559.pdf. For what it's worth, I've since learned that the article I wrote for publication in that journal is required reading in her at least one class at the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at Pepperdine, which is ranked number one in the nation by U.S. News & World Report for 11 of the past 12 years. Allow me to share a quote that a very well regarded colleague of ours in Maryland posted on Facebook after reading my article: "Love this quotation from Mark Brian Baer's article in the Winter edition of the American Journal of Family Law: 'Litigation ignores the actual conflict in order to resolve the dispute.' In family law, there is a level of conflict that doesn't go away unless you deal with it. Mark's statement about litigation goes a long way to explaining why some litigants keep coming back to court - we've never helped them resolve their conflict, only their dispute." So, with all due respect, Sean, I don't happen to be all that impressed with your article because I've seen nothing to indicate that you delve into such issues.
Experienced Branch, Sales and Operations Manager
8 年This is very thoughtful Sean and quite true for many aspects of this thing we call life.