Sweet Quarantine - Lockdown China Diaries - Day 9

This morning I was greeted by a very familiar sight knocking at my door - as she has every day, often twice a day for the past week and a half - the hotel quarantine doctor holding a digital thermometer like a gunslinger.

每天早上

我 (非常愉快): " 早上好！！! 怎么样！？“

医生 (工作状态-测量体温): “ 没有不舒服啊？三十六点二。”

我 (还是非常愉快)： “ 没有不舒服! 挺好的！你呢？！ ”

医生 (已经走向了下一个房间): 得了吧 - 每天 - 二百五老外。。。

Every. Single. Morning.

Me (Over-the-top cheerful): "Goooooooooood MORNING! What's goin' on/What's up?!"

Doctor (all business - taking my temp): “No discomfort? Mmm. 36.2. Mmm."

Me (Even more enthusiastic): "Nope! I feel like a MILLION BUCKS! What about you, doc?!?"

Doctor (Already on her way to the next room): (Thinking: "Oh man, this crazy-ass idiot foreign guest...")

Later that morning I got a delivery from Ele.Me from Alibaba's HEMA. Earlier that morning, while on a call, I'd hastily ordered on my phone what looked like instant coffee. I like to drink coffee black or with coconut milk and rarely with sweetener but thought, what the heck, I'd just done a water-only fast so I can try out one of those instant coffee packets that have the whole works inside and, seeing the picture of the coffee and the Chinese characters for coffee 咖啡 (Kāfēi), I just ordered it and forgot about it.

When it arrived, I thought, first of all, didn't know that Lay's had a product extension into beverages and wow this coffee must be *really* powdery because this bag is big, puffy and light.

I cracked the bag and out wafted a flavor that was _trying_ to smell like coffee....

...well if you've already lived in China before then you'd probably already guessed it.

Coffee flavored potato chips.

Nothing like salty, crunchy sheets of coffee grinds with a hint of milk and sugar. I tried a couple and then wept into my cup of hot water and made a mental note.

Nearly a quarter of a century in China only nine months away and I totally get RickRolled on yet another bait and switch potato chip flavor. Rookie move.

China is notorious for making you-name-it, nothing-is-remotely-out-of-the-question potato chip flavors like: cucumber, blueberry, glowstick liquid, nuclear spilloff, squid (at least two of those are not true....)

Good to be back in the Middle Kingdom. And 实际上我就是一个二百五老外;-)

Lockdown Love and Good Vibes from China to You and Yours,

Rich