Sweden on my Mind

"You can go through life and make new friends every year — every month practically — but there was never any substitute for those friendships

of childhood that survive into adult years. Those are the ones in which

we are bound to one another with hoops of steel."

— Alexander McCall Smith

Sweden On My Mind

Weekends are my time for catching up with my life. The ever-increasing volume of emails grabs some of my time — it takes weekend hours to review everything that was received during the week. I also devote time to my own personal wellness, the household chores, my family (a pack of five dogs and a cat), and some calls to friends and family. All done at a sloth-like pace versus the racing-like energy of weekdays. Like all of us, I am trying to achieve some work/life balance. I attempt to ‘walk my talk’ when it comes to coaching well-being. Too frequently, I have ignored the symptoms of burnout and landed myself in the metaphorical ditch. These fall weekend days are precious. And I strive to be intentional in how I spend that precious time.

I confess, I still make a list of what I want to accomplish. I am clear on my priorities —?putting things that make me happy and bringing energy into my life on top. I reward myself with puppy playtime, snacks, and naps. I might start to embrace the ‘four-day work week’ concept being floated around. That would extend this fun and funky switch up to my work-week pace. Or I may relearn how to pace myself differently, regardless.

This was the topic of conversation that I had while driving back from my favorite bakery on Sunday. Making calls while driving is my habit. It is uninterrupted time to be with someone. On Sunday, it was my friend from Sweden who I reached out to share my drive.

It has been too long since I have visited my favorite friends in my adopted homeland of Sweden. I pull their influence into my life by throwing traditional Swedish parties, decorating my home with Swedish antiques and art, and remembering important rituals of the Swedish culture — like fikka, a mix of coffee and chocolate to be shared with friends.

For many years, I have enjoyed the privilege of traveling to Sweden for work and play. I have made deep friendships and expanded my horizons with each trip. Connecting with my Swedish colleagues and friends grounds me and gives me a new perspective on how people outside of the US experience things.

My friend and I could talk for hours. So when our conversation begins, her husband quietly smiles. I caught Lena (six hours ahead in time) at her ‘summer house’ in the archipelago north of Stockholm preparing for friends to visit. She is now retired but has not lost her consulting instincts or interest in what is happening in the workplace.

We share how we are navigating the pandemic and what we are observing. She shares how her youngest daughter, now a physician, is coping. And I share how my youngest niece, who is a hospital pharmacist, has been impacted by the pandemic. We both recognize that those working in clinical fields have been deeply affected by COVID and that our loved ones are changed by the experience — for both better and worse.

We start to share and compare what is happening in Sweden and in the US. Did Sweden have a great resignation? Have they started to hear about quiet quitting? It is fun and sobering to find out how alike we are and how common our experiences are. I enjoy hearing Swedish phrases for the same phenomena.

We both express the concern that if we don’t pivot again to a new way of working, we are in a phase that will overwhelm us all with the volume of emails and our daytime consumed by a schedule of zoom calls with little time for generative activities and deep connection. We can see emerging disconnects that we worry could become real cracks in working relationships. We recognize the need to work face-to-face for learning, sharing, decision-making, and ideation.

I tell my friend that I feel deeply that organizations must review how they should work based on good questions like:

? What supports our mission, customers, and workforce in the most effective and equitable way to produce the best results while keeping the organization and working relationships strong and vibrant?

I share my observation that throughout all of the changes in work life and the shifting structures of remote, hybrid, and on-site working situations that peak performers are still peak, average contributors still function in the middle lane of moderation, and poor performers have taken full advantage of the situation. I ask if she sees the same pattern. She says she does.

I share some Gallup data that peak performers are leaving organizations because of workload imbalance and a lack of empathy from their managers. And that organizations that consistently invest in their culture, leadership, and management development — as well as the relationship with their workforce in equal balance with their focus on performance and achievement — find it easier to attract and retain their workforce. They have also been able to shift during the pandemic and take advantage of some positive opportunities.

The organizations that only attended to the ‘What’ of business and did not invest in the ‘How’ of business and relationships can’t catch up on this thing I call the ‘soft science’ of organizational effectiveness. It is not a set of strategies and behaviors that you can ‘cram’ when you are behind.

We both smile as this has been a theme of all our conversations and the common ground of our work as consultants. Because the Swedish culture naturally is more process-oriented and dedicated to work/life balance than we are in the US, I appreciate hearing about what Sweden is doing to cope. The Swedes love our energy and entrepreneurial nature.

I am grateful for the time that a Sunday provides for this reflection, new perspective, and catching up with a friend — who with today’s technology is not so far away.

We don’t have all the answers to these observations and questions, but we do commit to caring about how we support those around us. We recognize that the solution for redesign is different for each organization and situation and also recognize that the need to change it up again is upon us.

I am planning a trip to Sweden in the spring.

? How are you spending your free time?

? What new moves are you adding to the way you approach your life and work life?

? What insights do you have to share?

Leslie

"Everything has been something before."

— Alexander McCall Smith