SUZANNE'S LAST NEWSLETTER

Hello to my wonderful network!

As the year draws to a close, it’s as much a time for reflection as it is celebration. Most of us aren’t formulating our New Year’s resolutions just yet.? Why bother when we plan to indulge over the holiday season (and so we should!) and our plans for change are deferred until January 1st??

This mindset, while commonly held, is evidence of “all or nothing” thinking.? We can land somewhere in the middle and perhaps take a more proactive strategy to think about the direction we want our life, and therefore our actions, to take as we move forward into our futures.? This can happen in the midst of any given moment, even during times when extremes are present and life is busy and stressful.? For?many, this can certainly sum up the holidays!

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve had a mixed relationship with Christmas; the holiday I celebrate.?I can imagine my poor mother saddened by this comment as she went all out when I was a child to make it a special time.??She forced my dad to go out on Christmas Eve and buy the biggest, bushiest tree imaginable so that Santa could decorate it overnight.??You can imagine the magic my brother and I experienced coming down the staircase on Christmas morning to see our living room transformed by a resplendent tree that had been bare the night before and?with?what seemed like a truckload of presents underneath it!? Trust me when I tell you that if we had been raised by my dad, we would have been watching hockey on Christmas morning with no tree, a box of “Bits & Bites” for breakfast, and zero supervision. We were lucky that my dad loved my mom?so much he was willing to do her bidding and that both cared about their children’s happiness enough to make the holidays a special occasion.Hindsight also shows me the?extent?of our privilege.

Spoiler alert:??I eventually figured out that?Santa didn’t decorate our tree.??The truth was that my?parents’ friends came over, got liquored up (it was the 70s), blasted music and had a tree trimming party that lasted until the wee hours.? I can still remember the joy of falling asleep to their laughter and merriment on Christmas Eve.? Wonderful!

Celebrating Christmas started to take a downturn when I was in my 40s.??My family lost loved ones to death and divorce, and we also had some pretty nasty rifts happen in our ranks which made the holidays hurt.?Yes, Christmas fights are a thing. The family also grew larger and younger members started having their own celebrations which always made the older generation either mad or sad, especially when new couples or new parents?among us?took themselves and their children off to spend Christmas with the in-laws.? Treachery in the eyes of my family!? I look back at their reactions now with mild amusement because this is the kind of change that is inevitable in family systems.? Still, it was intense to be in the midst of and sometimes the cause of so much rancor at the time.

I have also had to adjust my expectations of the holidays to fall more in line with those of my husband. He is of the opinion that Christmas is not about decorations and presents; it's about spending quality time with the people that you care about.? Wait, what?! I am the person who was raised by a woman with a collection of over 300 Santa Clauses (aka “my inheritance”). Needless to say, it has taken a while for me to come around to Patrick’s way of thinking.? I’m pleased to say that due to his benign influence over the years, I have scaled down my need to shower my loved ones with gifts during the holidays and to decorate my home like the Griswold’s in “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation”.? If you are too young to understand my cultural reference here, please take time to watch this movie.? It’s a classic!

All personal disclosure aside, my point here is to say that change is inevitable despite the most ingrained traditions.? More often than not, change is healthy and creates opportunities for new ways of being and thinking.? As you move into your holiday season, I encourage you to reflect on your past, how you are feeling in the current moment, and where you want to be in future.? I’m channelling the sentiment from Dickens’ ghosts in “A Christmas Carol” here in that it is well-advised to consider the consequences of our actions so that we can begin the process of desired change in a timely fashion.

In this spirit, I’m letting you know that this will be my last newsletter.? I started writing it as a way to connect with others during the onset of the pandemic in 2020 and I’ve been distributing it monthly ever since.? I have loved sharing my thoughts and feelings with all of you and I have been delighted with your response to my musings.? Thank you to those who have read my newsletter over the years and who have taken the time to write to me with your own reflections or shared experiences.? It has been genuinely therapeutic and joyful for me to connect with such wonderful readers.

My primary reason for stopping the newsletter is to make room for change in my own life.? I have other writing I want to do and this includes several book projects that?have been brewing in the corners of my mind for a very long time.? If they are ever going to get written, I need to make the time now.? Wish me luck as I get started in the New Year!

Leaving you with so much gratitude and appreciation.

Happy holidays and best wishes for health, happiness and abundance in 2025!? And I pray fervently, let there be peace on earth and goodwill towards everyone…

I hope this helps.

Suzanne