Surviving a Toxic Boss: How I Escaped and What You Can Do Too

We’ve all heard the saying: "People don’t leave jobs, they leave bad bosses." According to Harvard Business Review, the top reasons employees quit are a terrible boss, lack of career growth, or a better offer elsewhere. But when your boss is truly toxic, the situation becomes more than just a bad work experience: it can be soul-sapping, depressing, and detrimental to your mental health.

I should know. I had one.

(And for the internet sleuths out there—you won’t find out who. This job isn’t listed on my profile, it was many, many years ago, and plenty of details have been changed. ??)

The Job That Looked Perfect, Until It Wasn’t

Years ago, I started what seemed like a promising, well-paid role. My manager? Charming, passionate, and persuasive - so much so that I turned down a six-figure freelancing gig to take this job. Big mistake.

Within one to two weeks, the cracks appeared. The friendly, open boss I thought I had? Calculating, manipulative, and emotionally draining. They overshared personal details in robotic, rehearsed ways - designed not for connection, but to extract personal information from their employees.

At first, I wasn’t the target. That unfortunate honor went to an older, gentler colleague—who was publicly humiliated daily. The boss’s method? Loud, aggressive, and relentless criticism, shouted across the open-plan office:

"Why haven’t you done this?"

"Why did you do that?"

"This isn’t good enough!"

And the worst part? This boss was actually brilliant at their job as an individual contributor. Their scientific knowledge and presentation skills were top-tier. But what good is intelligence if you can’t work with other humans?

When It Was My Turn, It Was Time to Go

After weeks of watching, I became the next target. And I did what so many hesitate to do, I left.

In just four weeks, I handed in my notice.

To this day, I’ve never left a job so quickly but it was, without a doubt, the right decision. The stress, anxiety, and emotional drain weren’t worth any salary. And if you find yourself in a similar situation, you shouldn’t feel guilty for putting yourself first.

How to Deal with a Toxic Boss

• Stick to the facts – Don’t engage emotionally. Keep conversations focused on work, tasks, and measurable outcomes.
• Avoid sharing personal information – Toxic bosses will use what they know against you. Keep things professional and neutral.
• Minimize contact – If possible, reduce interactions. Limit meetings, avoid unnecessary discussions, and keep communication brief.
• Document everything – If things escalate, having a record of conversations, emails, and incidents can be crucial for HR or legal purposes.
• Know when to walk away – Sometimes, the best option is to leave. No job is worth your mental health. If you can, start looking for an exit strategy.

Know This: It’s Okay to Walk Away

A toxic boss is not your failure. It’s not a reflection of your abilities, potential, or professionalism. It’s a bad environment that you do not have to endure.

Leaving that job was one of the best decisions I ever made. If you’re dealing with a toxic boss, know that you deserve better, and you have the power to walk away too.