Surviving (and Thriving) During Holiday Gatherings: A Civility Blueprint Inspired by Pope Francis!

Hi everyone!

Welcome to this holiday edition of Respectful Workplace Insights.

The holidays are intended as a time for joy.

They can also be times of tension, especially when spending extended time with family members who aren't your 'favourite people'.

Pope Francis’s recent message to the world about the dangers of gossip and speaking ill of others resonates far beyond the workplace …

It's a principle we can bring to our dining tables, living rooms and backyard barbecues as we savour our festive fare this holiday season!

How to Navigate Family Holiday Gatherings Respectfully and Constructively.

3 Common Scenarios with Strategies:

1.?The Controversial Commenter

Uncle Joe brings up politics, religion, or any other hot-button issue … topics he knows will spark a reaction and he’s always out to stir everyone up!

After a few drinks, he starts freewheeling with excitement … flagrantly flaunting his opinions to whip any family member in earshot into a frenzy!

You feel your blood pressure rising as the tension builds …

How to Deal with Uncle Joe:

• Instead of reacting … pause and respond - Take a deep breath. Consider asking a clarifying question like, “I’m curious … what makes you feel that way?”

An alternative could be jumping straight back with a rebuttal. ?

Giving Uncle Joe a serve about your differing point of view, will just give him more ammunition to go one better. Don’t go there!

• Set boundaries if needed - Politely but firmly redirect the conversation: “Let’s keep the conversation light today … I’d like to hear about your recent trip!”
• Stay curious - Uncle Joe is addicted to being right about his point of view on everything! Approach any conversation with Joe as a chance to understand, not to convince him that (he’s wrong and you’re right).

Remember the power of the pause and respond positively instead of reacting!

2. The Chronic Critic

A family member makes passive-aggressive remarks or critiques your life choices … be it your job, the car you drive, what you’re doing with your money, your relationships, how you look, the food you brought to the festive occasion, what you’re drinking, or your parenting style!

It can also extend to micro-moves … the chronic critic getting irritated because your phone made an audible sound while typing … reacting with a terse tone, “Turn it off!”

The chronic critic then conveniently ignores others by being on their phone!

How to Deal with the Chronic Critic

• Deflect with kindness - Respond with a calm, neutral tone: “Thanks for sharing your perspective. It’s good to know you care.”

Or… “Thanks for letting me know; I appreciate your perspective.”

• Redirect focus - Change the topic to something neutral or uplifting: “What’s the best thing that happened for you this year?”
• Know when to disengage - Sometimes, a circuit breaker is needed. You can walk away or excuse yourself to get a drink of water … which may be the healthiest option!

Deflect with kindness by thanking others for sharing their perspectives!

3. The Gossip Gatherer

A cousin corners you in the kitchen, eager to share juicy titbits about another family member. You sense the conversation is heading toward gossip and negativity.

How to Deal with the Gossip Gatherer:

• Set a positive tone - Gently divert the conversation by saying, “Let’s not dwell on shortcomings today. I’d rather focus on the good things. What’s a positive angle we could share together?”
• Reframe or redirect - Shift the subject entirely: “Speaking of family, did you hear about the exciting news with [another family member]?”
• Address it directly - With kindness, you can say, “I’m not comfortable discussing this when they’re not here to share their side.”

By resisting the pull of gossip, you model integrity and foster a more respectful atmosphere … a gift that benefits everyone present!

Holiday dynamics may not always be easy, however with mindfulness and intention, they can become opportunities for growth, understanding, and connection.

Above all, embrace the principle that Pope Francis champions: Speak directly, respectfully, and constructively.

If there’s unresolved conflict, consider addressing it privately and calmly, outside the charged holiday setting.

The bottom line is …

The holidays are a chance to model civility and respect, even in challenging moments.

You have the power to diffuse tension and plant seeds of deeper understanding and connection.

As you celebrate …

Lead with grace

Listen for others’ greatness

Bring an open heart to the table!

How will you empower yourself to navigate tricky holiday dynamics?

Thanks for reading this edition of Respectful Workplace Insights.

Happy Holidays and see you next week!

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Besides my newsletter, here’s how I can help you build a connected culture:

1. Find out about how you can build civility by eliminating disrespectful conversations and toxic behaviours - book a chat to find out more HERE

2. Speak with me personally to plan out your Connected Culture strategy for 2025.

Respectful Workplace Insights is a weekly newsletter I am publishing on LinkedIn to highlight?some of the things that get in the way of creating a respectful workplace culture. Eliminating disrespectful, unproductive and depleting conversations and behaviours that are getting in the way of building respectful relationships, alignment and performance is where we start.

Each week I'll offer insights on how to do that so you can create a respectful culture where everyone feels safe and included.

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