Surviving Thanksgiving: Is Your AQ Ready for the Holiday Madness?

This year, like last year, we made Thanksgiving reservations. For me, it was a no-brainer—fewer dishes, fewer headaches—but for my wife, it was a bittersweet decision. For decades, Thanksgiving meant home-cooked meals and the kind of chaos that somehow always felt like love.

But life happened. The kids grew up, moved away, and started their own families. Grandkids came along. In-laws entered the mix and so did divorce. Suddenly, our cherished traditions collided with theirs.

The kids were stuck navigating a gauntlet of dinners, racing between houses to avoid disappointing anyone. Thanksgiving became less about gratitude and more about logistics—like trying to solve a Rubik’s Cube blindfolded. [You were probably why there was a Rubik's Cube in the image above!]

The tipping point? For years, my wife barely sat down with us because she was busy accommodating the “early eaters” who had to leave and the “latecomers” who rolled in just as the food was cold. Of course, that was after several days and long nights preparing the meal.

For me, dining out felt like hitting reset—starting a new tradition where someone else did the heavy lifting. For my wife, it was harder. Letting go of those old rituals felt like letting go of something bigger. It made me wonder: how does adaptability, or AQ, influence our ability to embrace these changes? Do we rise to the challenge, find joy in the chaos, or let the stress take over?

This Thanksgiving, let’s talk about AQ—and how it shapes not just our holidays, but how we navigate life’s twists and turns.

I'd also love to hear from you. How has life changed your holiday celebrations and how well have you and your family adapted?

High AQ Individual: The Thanksgiving Innovator

Taylor, the high-AQ virtuoso, approaches Thanksgiving with a mindset that thrives on unpredictability. When extra guests show up unannounced, Taylor doesn’t just find extra chairs—they create a “Thanksgiving Lounge” with mismatched seating that somehow feels intentional. The toddler spills juice? Taylor turns it into a game: “Spot the juice art!” And when Grandpa starts a heated debate, Taylor seamlessly shifts the topic to his favorite hobby, making him the center of positive attention.

For Taylor, Thanksgiving isn’t about perfection—it’s about creating moments of connection, even in the mess. Every hiccup is an opportunity to shine, and by the end of the night, everyone feels like they’ve had the best Thanksgiving ever.

Defining trait: Thrives on improvisation and turns challenges into opportunities for joy.

Medium AQ Individual: The Thanksgiving Realist

Jordan, the medium-AQ host, starts Thanksgiving with a clear plan and a reasonable expectation that something will go off-script. When a surprise plus-one arrives, Jordan quickly adds another place setting, even if it means using mismatched dishes. When the kids accidentally knock over a centerpiece during their impromptu game of tag, Jordan sighs, moves it out of the way, and mutters, “It’s fine. Who needs flowers, anyway?”

Jordan is the glue holding the day together—not always effortlessly, but effectively. There might be moments of stress, like realizing the gravy is lukewarm after all the reheating, but they adapt and keep the focus on the bigger picture. By the end of the day, they’re exhausted but proud: it wasn’t perfect, but it was good.

Defining trait: Can adapt when needed, though not without moments of visible frustration.

Low AQ Individual: The Thanksgiving Traditionalist

Alex, the low-AQ holiday warrior, approaches Thanksgiving with a rigid playbook—and expects everyone else to follow it, too. When plans start to shift (and they always do), Alex struggles to keep up. If guests are late, dinner still starts on time, because “That’s just how it’s done.” When the kids suggest skipping charades for a new game, Alex insists, “We’ve always done charades, and we’re doing charades.”

For Alex, change feels like an attack on the essence of Thanksgiving. They cling to the familiar, even when it no longer serves the moment. By the end of the night, Alex feels drained and unappreciated, wondering why no one else seems as invested in the tradition as they are.

Defining trait: Resistant to change, often seeing it as a disruption rather than an opportunity.

Which AQ resonates most with your Thanksgiving approach—or the approach of someone at your table?