Surviving Route 91: 7 Positive Strategies For Resiliency In Tragedy

Yesterday marked one year since the Route 91 county music festival was transformed into the worst shooting in modern U.S. history.

I was there that day, and it transformed me—unexpectedly, in positive ways.

This is my story and my self-reflection on the seven positive strategies I learned over the last year that helped me to be resilient after the tragedy.  It is my hope that what I’ve learned through my experience may help others weather the storms in their own lives.

What's my story? 

That night I was attending the Route 91 concert with my girlfriend at the time. Jason Aldean was at the tail end of his last set and the crowd was packed. We had “lucked out” and managed to get near the front of the right side of the stage. Just as Jason Aldean threw his guitar as the blinding lights came on to the sounds of a “popping noise”, I heard a voice to my left yell "I'm hit, I'm hit!" and that’s when it became real. The man began to fall forward and I tried, in vain, to break his fall and prevent him from hitting the ground. With assistance from others, I was able to turn him over and see that he had been shot in the chest and was losing a lot of blood. Referencing the limited emergency training I'd obtained through my education and career, I tried unsuccessfully to stop the bleeding. Within a few short minutes, the man became non-responsive. I remember the way the "sparkle" seemed to leave his eyes as he breathed his last. I checked his pulse and turned to tell the others standing nearby "we have to run or we're going to die!"

I grabbed my girlfriend's hand and led her through the crowds to safety. We managed to escape unscathed through diving for cover and intermittently running for our lives in truth, I was still in disbelief, not knowing what would come next. I'll never forget washing the blood from my body and I'll never forget the helpless sinking feeling that I'd failed to save him. Perhaps most impactful, I’ll never forget that 18 inches is all that separated me from being on the victim list instead of him.

Who was the stranger? 

In the days following, I'd find out that the man who had succumbed to his wounds that night was a U.S. Navy veteran named Chris Roybal, who had honorably served two tours in Afghanistan. He was there that night with his mother, and they'd become separated when the shooting happened. I've been told that he was loved by nearly everyone he met, and he approached everything with optimism. I had the privilege of spending his last few moments on earth with him--moments I'll carry with me forever. 

1. Love Conquers All

I remember experiencing the feelings of slipping into depression after the shooting, the overwhelming grief of what I had seen that night was powerful. As part of my usual Monday routine I watched Eric Thomas's “Love Conquers” motivational video. It truly altered the course of my "comeback" and helped me begin my fight against the fear that resonated after that night. Eric spoke directly about the event and Paddock's actions that night.

" That hate is not greater than love, hate has never been greater than love, hate has never conquered, love conquers all, love is the strongest force ever, and so I will greet this day with love in my heart, I will greet this day with love in my heart, and I will overcome evil."

Eric Thomas

Link to Love Conquers by Eric Thomas

This video was powerful to say the least. Eric’s message of not allowing hate and evil acts win as well as the way to fight back against these really struck a chord with me. There are too many people in our lives that need help. And so, I greeted the tragedy with love in my heart, and I found a way through it.

Love is powerful, and every action you take from a place of love is a step towards fighting back against these evil acts. Carrying that mindset with you and implementing love and passion into your day-to-day interactions not only has a positive impact in the world, but it has a positive impact on you.

2. Survivor Mentality

The FBI and perhaps most of society, defines those who didn't lose their lives that night, including myself, as "victims". I believe there are victims amongst those who live, and I believe there are survivors amongst them.

“Victim mentality”, as defined by Merriam-Webster, is an acquired personality trait in which a person tends to recognize themselves as a victim as the result of the negative actions of others.

Unlike victim mentality”, “survivor mentality” is not an acquired personality trait, and it certainly doesn't have an easy to find definition. This mentality is a choice that you have to make every day--a choice to not allow the negative actions of someone to affect the positive impact you intend to make on the world.

Don't take the easy road of living your life as a victim, with a "woe is me" outlook on life. Get offended when someone calls you a “victim”. Live your life with a purpose and overwhelm the negative actions of others with positive actions of your own. This takes daily decisions, and willpower but if you’re consistent with it you’ll see the positive results.

3. Positive Intent

After the shooting, it was incredibly difficult to transition back to everyday life. I found myself seeing the negative in everyone and everything.

Reflecting on my life I'd realized that I'd regularly interacted with many people who felt that their leadership, coworkers, or family members often assumed negative intent in their actions. I was beginning to do the same, and I wasn't okay with allowing that to become my mentality.

“Great leaders and great organizations are good at seeing what most of us can’t see.

-Simon Sinek

If you want to be great, you have to learn to see the positives in things that others don't--especially in your darkest hours.

Challenge yourself to seek out positive intent in the actions of others and to find the good in all things. In turn, you’ll give each person you encounter the opportunity to demonstrate their best qualities. 

4. Facing Fears & Fighting Back

What are the effects on someone (outside of physical injuries) after a domestic terror attack? While there are many, PTSD, anxiety attacks, noise sensitivity, and flashbacks were my personal burdens. A few months ago, in Nashville, I approached all of those fears at once. A group of my friends and colleagues were leaving to go out in downtown Nashville. Excuses flooded my mind for why I couldn't join them. 

Why go? 

I decided I wasn't going to let this terrorist act take anything else from me. I'd have to take those challenges head on if I wanted them to dissipate. We made our way through several bar concerts. There were big crowds and loud noises which created the worst triggers for PTSD that I had suffered at the time Admittedly, I stepped outside to get air a few times, but I did it--and for the first time in months, I actually had fun being out again. While few that I was with knew of the challenges I had faced just “going out” that night, I felt an overwhelming sense of accomplishment for having faced those fears head on.

I know that my challenges aren't the greatest struggles that people can face in life but no matter how great the challenges you face in your life, I know that if you take them head-on can turn those challenges into a success story. If you fail, it is not the end--, just pick yourself up off the ground, dust yourself off and try again. 

Do the things that scare you, one at a time, and don't let the fear win.

5. Building an "A" Team

How have I been able to stay positive and work through all of these challenges?

I had a support team, some of whom didn't know they were part of it. After the shooting in Las Vegas, I immediately went to find something, anything, that could help me process and find a way to get through the struggles I was facing. My support network of close mentors and friends provided me with the best help possible. This network is made up of people who pull the very best out of me and drive me to come out of adversity stronger than before. In doing so, I cut out negative influences in my recovery process and focused on spending time with those that were going to help me get back to where I needed to be.

Think about your support structure for a moment- do you have two or three inspirational or professional development speakers that you listen to for personal growth and motivation? Do you have a handful of carefully selected friends to seek positive advice from in case of a crisis in your life?

6. Time isn't a guarantee it's a gift

What was on my mind in what could have been my last moments?

I remember hearing bullets whizzing past my ears and the sound of them hitting nearby as we ran out. I remember how it felt like time had slowed down long enough for me to reflect on my life as it stood that day. The "I wish I would have done this", the "I should have done this" and the "I never told them this" thoughts flooded my mind. Who would pick up my puppy from my friends that were watching him? Would my parents know how I'd died?

I felt like I'd wasted so much time, and if, by the grace of God, I survived, I wouldn't waste any more time.

The reality is no one knows exactly when their clock is going to stop. Don't wait any longer to say the things that need to be said. Don’t wait any longer to do those things that you’ve been putting off. When it comes to your day-to-day, live your life with such a strong passion that you change the moods and lives of those around you. 

"But I'm waiting for my dream job!", " I'm in an insignificant role and can't possibly make an impact doing this.", "I don't have the money or time." 

What do these all have in common? They are excuses. They are excuses for not living life to your fullest potential. It's time, and you can do it right where you are. Whether you're leading a boardroom, a second-grade classroom, raising a family, or driving a truck down the highway--strive to make an impact by being the absolute best at what you do. If you can’t be the best, then be the one with the most passion for what you do.

When you begin to see the positive impact you have on those around you and when you live with this kind of passion, it will change your life.

7. Be your own hero

What stands out to me most about that night? The darkness? The helplessness? The fear?

 No.

What I remember most vividly about that night is witnessing ordinary people risking their lives for others that night--those running into the gunfire and shielding others by covering them with their own body. I remember the men and women who were incredibly heroic that night—many of whom lost their lives or were gravely injured on that night.

The power of the realization that there are many incredible leaders and "heroes" amongst us will change you. And maybe, when you realize the potential in yourself, you will become a hero in your life. It's time that you quit suppressing the very best in you and the best in others.

Find ways to bring these qualities with you into your daily life, and you'll begin to naturally inspire others every day.

Don't wait for a hero to save your life, it's time for you to be your own hero.

In honor of Chris Roybal, and each of the victims, survivors, and families who have been affected by the Route 91 Massacre or another tragedy.

A thank you to my friends and family who have stood by my side and supported me through every challenge I've faced.

Lastly, to Eric Thomas and Simon Sinek for providing me with the inspiration to get through the trauma of that night, and for giving me access to the tools that have taught me to to deal with tragedy-- I'm eternally grateful.

It is my hope that my story and what I have learned can help anyone who is dealing with adversity in their life-- there is no challenge that can't be beat.