Surviving Personal Challenges While Thriving Professionally: My Guide to Managing Both

I recently reflected on my healing journey since my divorce nearly five years ago. I share this very personal account to help others who may be facing any major life changing event to share what worked for me, yet I recognize everyone’s healing process will be different.

1. Don’t lie there and not sleep; do something productive. I moved into a fixer-upper in 2020 and started remodeling it on day one. I didn’t sleep more than 2-3 hours every night. Many people going through a divorce complain they can’t sleep. They might turn to sleeping aids or other forms of self-medication, but my philosophy is to just get up and do something productive. Journal, read a self-help book, clean a cabinet, knit, paint, etc. Don’t lie there and think about it all. I know sleep is healthy; I also know two periods of my life when I didn’t sleep much—most of college and when I had my first baby who never seemed to sleep. I have functioned fine on very little sleep through those seasons of life, and if I did it before, I could do it again.

2. Mindless work is scientifically proven to be therapeutic. Performing mindless, repetitive work such as painting, knitting, or walking activates areas of the brain that are technically named, but basically reduce overthinking, calm you down, and “reward” you. These types of activities can induce a flow state, promoting mindfulness, relaxation, and reducing stress by lowering cortisol levels. They provide a cognitive break, allowing the brain to recharge and improve mental function. All of this is super important during periods of high anxiety and stress.

3. Keep busy. As I was doing mindless remodeling work, it also kept me busy. My mind was focused on productive thoughts instead of negative ones. The release of dopamine during mindless activities enhances your mood, making them naturally enjoyable and therapeutic, and allows you to process thoughts and feelings in a different way. It was during this time I became passionate about getting more women in the trades and spent almost two months every single night in the middle of the night thinking about how to solve this problem. It would take me another three and a half years before figuring out a solution, and I launched phase one this week!

4. Find purpose. My remodeling project gave me purpose and something meaningful to focus on. There was never a moment where I was home alone feeling sorry for myself while my girls were spending time with their father. I always knew the next project I was going to work on when they were away.

5. Accomplishment. My remodel offered a huge benefit of visual satisfaction. I could literally see what I had accomplished from my work the night before. It wasn’t like my role at the time as an Executive Director of a law firm where it might take months (or never) to “see” the fruits of my labor. Home improvement projects are instant—give me a sledgehammer and a chisel, and I’ll be happy to demonstrate.

6. Power and confidence. There is a reason men love power tools—they feel powerful when they use them. Guess what, so do women! I gained so much confidence through the process of learning how to use tools, figuring out creative solutions to make the old look new again, and seeing my results. You may not have a full-blown remodel to do, but a bathroom makeover is a great place to start learning how to use tools. For such a small space, it’s time-consuming, detail-oriented, provides education, and keeps you busy!

My nine-month remodel project was literally the best therapy I could have ever bought. $40,000 in hard costs, 1,800 hours in sweat equity, and created “two children!”

Entry Envy was born in October 2021 because I was simply trying to update my house numbers and add curb appeal. It was a solution to my own problem.

Nearly three years later, I launched Hammers & Flip Flops to teach women how to use power tools and tackle their own home remodeling projects. It is truly just the beginning of so much ahead.

I will be forever grateful for my parents helping me through the most challenging period of my adult life, and especially my dad, for teaching me so many skills during my remodel. It is an honor and privilege to pass them on to other women through my new company.

On the other side of hardship there is beauty; you just have to trust the process. One of my favorite Bob Marley quotes is, "You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice."