Surviving The Ontario Child Welfare System-Where to go now ?

Where do you go when you graduate/survive the child welfare system in Ontario as an Indigenous young adult? You are likely unaware that a peer died every three days in this grossly underfunded system, designed to 'care' for you, , as you were displaced from the love of family and cultural teachings of your community Elders. .( Jackson, Kenneth, Death as Expected, APTN news, Sept,2019).

You could go home but you may not remember home; or if memories linger, they may explosively re-emerge as panic-attack-precipitating traumatic nightmares, drenching you in a cold sweat in the deep darkness of the night that mirrors your tattered soul. You may understandably be terrified of the thought of going home. You may feel disconnected from your heritage if you entered the system as an Indigenous infant. As you moved from one "home ' to the next, you felt very alone.You may have been born with a Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD), and after multiple unsuccessful foster home placements, you are told to pack and "get in the car". You heard "Noone wants to hear the story of a compulsive liar and a thief." as your Foster mother packed your bags. The Children's Aid Society (CAS) crisis worker drove you through the darkness in silence to yet another white strangers home.You are told to go directly to bed. It felt unreal, again. There was no alcohol available to numb your feelings of anger and sadness this time.You tossed and turned as you laid your head on a hard mattress.After briefly sleeping,you awoke again in panic,completely disoriented. You heard crying in the next room .You trembled with rage.You needed silence. You needed it all to just stop.As you picked up the infant in the crib in next room. you were momentarily very sad for her. She was just beginning the foster home horror show you have come to know and despise. In utter despair, your dysregulated nervous system imploded and you anger exploded.The unthinkable happens. They will describe this as unthinkable and unimaginable but early in your life, you observed an adult in your family home, do just this same thing.No one said anything then and the baby's' body just disappeared the next day.Afterwards, there was silence.You crawled back to bed, awaiting the police to arrive.You have become the unloveable monster your last foster mother accused you of being.The shame takes your breath away. You shivered as your cold sweat drenches your torn PJs. Maybe you have saved the little one the sorrow and abuse you have come to know so well.For a moment, you found peace in that idea, in not breathing, in hoping it would all just end .You found the bottle of tylenol in the bathroom and you took the tablets in fistfuls.It was finally all over. You are going home.

The number of apprehended Indigenous infants entering this broken system is significantly disproportionate to the population percentage Indigenous children comprise amongst all children in Ontario ( as it is for Black and other racialized infants and children ) . A 2016 review of the admitting practices and data collection procedures of CAS agencies in Ontario demonstrated that the rate of admission of Indigenous children is 2.6 times greater than would be predicted by population statistics .The number is 2.2 x greater for Black kids.The report concluded that CAS human rights data collection practices are widely inconsistent across the province.The racial backgrounds of many children in care is simply not known.This continues,despite being in the context oft the Canadian Human Rights Commission in 2016 ruling that the Federal government of Canada discriminates against Indigenous children on reserves through its design , management ,control and funding of child welfare agencies . Inadequate funding for preventative supports, including a lack of clean water and adequate housing, were clearly identified.No significant positive changes were made.

On May 9th, 2020, amidst the COVID pandemic, Ontario Premier Doug Ford, announced changes to rules governing the provision of residential care to children.Amendments to the Child, Youth and Family Services Act included an increase in the number of children allowed in foster homes from 4 to 5, decreased documentation requirements , advise to agencies to refrain from regularly doing doing criminal checks on new staff and allowing home inspections to be conducted over the phone rather than in person. Foster homes and group homes, many run for profit were, predicted by critics and advocates to become more chaotic, busier and under less government scrutiny.This decision will only add to the tragic outcomes documented in Death by Indifference.

Today is Canada Day and I am grateful to be a citizen of a country where one can speak ones truths in public without fear of censure. With pride and gratitude, I just watched Dr.Gabor Mate, Canadian family physician, author and world -expert on trauma and addiction, converse with Dr. Rangan Chatterjee on a Podcast available on U-tube. Their conversation exploring Dr Mates belief that "childhood experiences shape every aspect of our health". Rather than asking why is someone choosing to be addicted to illegal substances, Dr. Mate challenges us to ask , "Why the Pain ?" He believes that drugs and addictive behaviors sooth or detract from pain arising from either traumatic childhood events or from attachment needs not being met by non-attuned and non-present parents. He cautions us not to blame parents in this context.This fits with my understanding of inter-generationaI trauma precipitated by abuse experienced in Residential schools by Indigenous children in Canada.As a psychiatrist working in Kenora in Northwestern Ontario, Canada, this fits with my understanding of the traumatic experiences my Indigenous clients experience growing up in the Ontario Child Welfare system.

Mate challenges' truths' taught in North America to young aspiring physicians; that addictions are inherited brain diseases and that they involve personal choice.He notes that in his experience, the greater the number of adverse childhood events, the greater the likelihood that potentially life -threatening and ending addictions will develop.He argues that we adapt as children to survive, that much of what appears to be our personality is actually an adaptive overlay of our true selves which becomes a perpetuant to adult addictive behaviour . I think of all the Indigenous young women I have met , who have had negative experiences when interacting with our health system because they have been negatively labeled as having diagnoses of a Borderline personality Disorder and Polysubstance abuse. In fact, often they are self-medicating to ameliorate the painful symptoms of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorders. Mate speaks of a cycle in which disconnected individuals self-soothe with illicit substances,to ease emotional pain .They become increasingly more isolated through homelessness and incarceration. The enhanced disconnect then accelerates the addiction.\These are the individuals I meet in the Kenora Jail where 95% of the inmates are Indigenous and so many have mental health issues and addictions. I have observed shame emerging as a perpetuant to this disconnect, as does massive mistrust of both White and Indigenous culture.

The need to heal from childhood wounds then becomes the cornerstone of a recovery plan.Mate believes that as care providers we can empower individuals struggling with addictions to own their lives, to be agents of change. He suggests there may be a need in therapy to rewrite personal narratives suggesting we enjoyed a happy childhood when in fact painful emotions arising from attachment needs not being met have been understandably suppressed.I see this less often on the streets of Kenora but agree with the notion of rewriting our life story to better understand the roots of our addictions. We heal not by blaming parents ,foster parents or childhood care -providers, but by compassionately thanking ourselves for surviving childhood adverse events, and then courageously learning to sit with suppressed anger , sadness, rage and anxiety. Ultimately we learn healthy adult methods of coping with these powerful but inevitable emotions.We learn to love our imperfect selves.We can then be agents of change.We can learn to be "response -able' Dr Mate argues.We can then let go through a process of forgiveness and committing to positive life direction and choices.

In these times, calls to action to address systemic racism are being shouted in the streets.This time , let us heed these calls with compassionate listening and action. Let's acknowledge our child welfare system is broken. Lets fix it.

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