Surviving Lockdown as a Creative Person

“Growth is uncomfortable, but without the discomfort, our capacity doesn’t remain the same, it shrinks. If we’re not growing, we’re dying.” 

– The Accidental Creative, Todd Henry

If you are reading this, I assume you are curious. You may be a creative individual- a writer, designer, filmmaker, etc. You could be an unemployed creative or perhaps a ‘manager’, ‘strategist’ or a ‘housewife’. Call yourself anything you want. If you are supposed to solve problems, come up with new ideas, develop strategies; I am going to call you a creative person. Creativity is not defined by the money you earn but the value you create. 

More often than not, creators crave for solitude to work on their ideas. In this aspect, COVID-19 has proven us wrong. It’s like you have all the time you want and you still feel caged. Many of us have realised that lockdown is not the solitude we craved for. Why is it so? Lockdown is not a choice we made. It’s a forced imposition, for our good.” I am in the same boat. 

On some days, I wake up with a strong sense of unknown. When will the lockdown end? How will the economy respond to it? Where do I see myself in all this? Living in uncertainty is especially difficult when op-eds are delivered to your email every morning, each of them confidently predicting the future as either bad or worse. The present and the future seem glum. Luckily, we have the history to inspire us.

William Shakespeare saw some of the worst plagues during his lifetime. At that time, the plague was a wave of death that could wipe off thousands overnight. In his earlier experience of the plague, Shakespeare was inspired to write a poem on love. Love, he explained in the poem, was so pure that it had the power ‘to drive infection off from the dangerous year.’ Later when he was quarantined, he wrote ‘King Lear, Macbeth and Cleopatra’. These plays turned out to be some of his best plays. His work gave voice to the fear of living a life of death and uncertainty. 

Albert Camus, one of my favourite writers, was alive during the times of cholera outbreak of the 19th century. His novel ‘The Plague’ calls for human solidarity in the times of crisis. Like many other thinkers and writers of the 1930s and 1940s, he used the plague to criticise inequality, fascism and dictatorships. 

SOURCE: LA Times- https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/books/story/2020-03-23/reading-camu-the-plague-amid-coronavirus

Although the partition of India and Pakistan in 1947 was not a pandemic, it caused millions to die and continues to be a shared trauma for both the countries. Saadat Hasan Manto, a writer par excellence from the Indian subcontinent, penned down the story of ‘Toba Tek Singh’. Using the metaphor of a lunatic Sikh struggling in a mental asylum, he challenged the partition and documented the heartbreaking trauma of displacement. 

I don’t intend to make a direct comparison of ourselves with any of these great personalities. But we can learn that humanity is no stranger to deadly outbreaks, yet art has prevailed even in the times of worst hardship. History is on our side. But what about our internal battles: our dilemmas, hopelessness, anxieties and fears? How do we move away from what brings us down?

I am a creative person- a writer. Many of us think of creativity as a washing machine. You turn on its switch and it should work. This means as I sit in front of a blank page, the words should flow. On the contrary, creativity is like an expensive car. If it stays parked in your garage most of the time, it may not work when you need it the most. Creativity comes with discipline. 

At the beginning of lockdown due to COVID-19, I began reading ‘The Accidental Creative’ by Todd Henry. Generally, I don’t read self-help but this one was to impress a potential employer. While reading up about the company, I discovered that the founder likes this book. I began reading it out of utter selfish interest, and I was going to skim through the book to get the gist. In the end, the book held me captive for 2 months. 

“The creative process requires that we be expectant without expectations.” 

– The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron

This is what American author, teacher and veteran artist, Julia Cameron celebrates in her classic book, “The Artist’s Way”. I found one primary takeaway from the book. She advocates the disciplined act of writing ‘morning pages’ as the ‘primary tool for creative recovery’. For writers, the author suggests writing three pages every single morning. She insists we write on paper. I began in March and by the end of April, I had completed one diary. Although occasionally colourful, the morning pages can be often negative, self-pitying, repetitive, childish, angry or silly. 

“The morning pages help the logical brain to step aside and let the artist play. The morning pages are not supposed to sound smart—although sometimes they might. Most times they won’t, and nobody will ever know except you. Nobody is allowed to read.

– The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron

She encourages the reader to dive deeper and pen down the memories of their childhood room. As a child, I didn’t have a room of my own. My grandparents were my roommates. While writing down my thoughts, I remembered grandfather’s typewriter and how I loved sneaking in the room when he was not around. Ah, the illegitimate joy of pressing the keys of the typewriter! I also remembered how I could not sleep without draping my grandmother’s saree over my t-shirt and shorts. In the morning, she would find her saree from another end of the room. This exercise was therapeutic. I felt light and a little less homesick. 

The metaphor of morning pages can hold true for every art. The author suggests that if you want to create art, show up first thing in the morning. However, considering certain people function better in the nights, one can contextualise that it’s ideal to give ‘art’ its due priority/space each day. 

As a creative person who is a married woman, there’s one more battle at hand. It is a constant struggle to be true to ourselves and not mimic the society expects us to be. Women often allow over-responsibility to steal their necessary creative time. They place their considerable talents on the back burner. I struggle with this too. For example, there is always house-cleaning. It is rarely urgent yet we take it up. Women insist on cleaning everything in the house before they sit down to write (or whatever be their creativity). Like an ungrateful friend, this activity drains us. A funny thing about house-cleaning is that it never comes to an end. This is because we have seen our ideal mothers and other domesticated women obsess over house-cleaning. 

At times, we postpone our art when the process of creation is painful. Our mind gives us a hundred reasons to not entertain the thoughts. Unfortunately, we don’t allow the art to heal the pain it creates. However, lockdown is different. It is a phase packed with extreme longing. Many of us are locked away from our families and lovers. On top of that, art also feels extremely lonely. How and why will the mind cooperate?

“Warmth is a mystery. It somehow heals and engenders us. It is the loosener of too-tight things, it enhances flow, the mysterious urge to be, the maiden flight of fresh ideas. Whatever warmth is, it draws us closer and closer yet.”

– Women who run with the wolves by Clarissa Estés

This quote is as simple and poignant as it can get. In the book ‘Women who run with the wolves’ by Clarissa Estés, she packs timeless wisdom, especially for strong women. We must speak with friends who warm us, endorse us and take pride in our creative potential. They are patient with our process and understand our pain/joy of creating. I don’t know how many friends you have but you must have at least one or two who love you and have warmth for your creative life. The lockdown may prevent you from stepping out and soaking the sun but these friends can be your sunshine.

The lockdown shall continue and the world post-COVID will be different. Nonetheless, we’ve got to nourish ourselves with whatever feels soothing. In conclusion, our survival depends on how much we adapt to change. Our creativity could be our life-jacket. To read/write/cook is nourishing for me. But I am not able to exercise that regularly or walk ten thousand steps a day. I am unable to control my sugar cravings either. And I tell myself it is okay. We are going through the worst pandemics in the history of mankind. Let go a little.

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(This article was first published on The Other Angle.)