Surviving the Holidays: A Tactical Guide - 20 Do's and Don'ts for Toxic Relationships!

Introduction:

Ever felt drained by toxic people? It's time for strategies! As Thanksgiving approaches in America and with Christmas and New Year just around the corner, holidays can be especially challenging. Despite the seemingly "happy" family pictures, they don't always reflect reality. Behind closed doors, toxic dynamics can strain relationships.

In this guide, discover the signs plus 20 Do's and Don'ts – wee gems of wisdom for thriving among toxicity, just in time for the holiday season.

Let's navigate and equip ourselves for healthier relationships, particularly as the holiday season begins.

?

First and foremost, BE AWARE of some of the signs, in yourself or others, that are considered TOXIC!:

Toxic people consistently exhibit harmful behaviours, attitudes, or traits that negatively impact those around them. What makes them toxic varies, but common characteristics can include:

1.?? Negative Energy:

Constantly emitting negativity, complaining and focusing on the downside.

2.?? Manipulation:

Using deceitful tactics to control or influence others for personal gain, emotionally or otherwise.

3.?? Lack of Empathy:

Failing to understand or consider the feelings and perspectives of others.

4.?? Drama Magnet:

Thriving on chaos, creating conflicts and enjoying interpersonal turmoil.

5.?? Constant Criticism:

Offering relentless, unwarranted criticism without constructive feedback.

6.?? Boundary Violation:

Disregarding personal boundaries and showing a lack of respect for others' limits.

7.?? Victim Mentality:

Always portray themselves as victims, avoiding responsibility for their actions.

8.?? Jealousy and Envy:

Feeling resentful and displaying negative emotions toward others' success or happiness.

9.?? Emotional Draining:

Consistently draining the emotional energy of those around them.

10.??????? Unreliable:

Failing to follow through on commitments makes it difficult to trust them.

It's not just one of these traits but the cumulative effect that makes someone toxic. A combination of these creates an unhealthy and challenging environment for others.

??

Let’s tackle the Don’ts!

? DON'T Ignore Red Flags:

Pay attention to warning signs early on. Address toxic behaviour promptly to protect your well-being.

? DON'T Engage in Drama:

Toxic individuals thrive on chaos. Refrain from getting entangled in unnecessary conflicts and negativity.

? DON'T Tolerate Disrespect:

If it is safe to do so, stand up against disrespectful behaviour. Assertively communicate your expectations for mutual respect.

? DON'T Internalise Criticism:

Separate constructive feedback from toxic criticism. Don't let unwarranted negativity erode your self-esteem.

? DON'T Forget to Celebrate Progress:

Acknowledge your victories, both big and small. Celebrate your resilience in the face of toxic challenges.

? DON'T Play the Blame Game:

Avoid the cycle of blame. Focus on solutions rather than dwelling on assigning fault.

? DON'T Compromise Your Values:

Stay true to your principles. Don't compromise your core values to accommodate toxic individuals

? DON'T Expect Quick Fixes:

Realise that changing toxic dynamics takes time. Be patient with the process and with yourself.

? DON'T Sacrifice Your Well-Being:

Put your mental and physical health first. Don't sacrifice your well-being for the sake of a toxic relationship.

? DON'T Isolate Yourself:

Resist the urge to isolate. Stay connected with positive influences to counterbalance toxic encounters.

Whereas it’s important to recognise the signs and know what not to do, it’s even more important to know how to deal with them!?

Here are some of my Top “Do’s” when dealing with Toxic people:

?

? DO Set Clear Boundaries:

Establish limits on what behaviour you find acceptable. Communicate these boundaries assertively but respectfully.

? DO Prioritise Self-Care:

Make self-care a non-negotiable. Allocate time for activities that recharge your energy and promote mental health.

? DO Practice the 5-Second Rule:

When negativity strikes, use Mel Robbins' strategy and count down: 5-4-3-2-1. Redirect your thoughts and focus on positive aspects instead.

? DO Surround Yourself with Positivity:

Seek out supportive and positive individuals. Foster relationships that uplift and inspire you.

? DO Change Your Perspective:

Look for lessons and growth opportunities in challenging situations. Shift your mindset towards positivity.

? DO Cultivate Emotional Intelligence:

Develop the ability to understand and manage your emotions. This skill is crucial when dealing with toxic people.

? DO Seek Support:

Reach out to friends, family, or a professional support network. Sharing your experiences can provide valuable insights.

? DO Practice Mindfulness:

Stay present and focused on the current moment. Mindfulness can help you stay grounded amidst toxicity.

? DO Document Patterns:

Keep a record of recurring toxic behaviours. Documentation helps you see patterns and take necessary action.

? DO Know When to Walk Away:

Recognise when a relationship is beyond repair. It's okay to walk away for your own peace of mind.

?

So in particular, as we brace for the upcoming holiday season, mastering toxic relationships becomes paramount.

Among the challenges, find joy in doing things that please you. Whether it's listening to upbeat music (use AirPods or a Headset if necessary), taking a nature walk or indulging in a favourite hobby. You wield the power to set boundaries and to prioritise self-care.

Add these 20 Do's and Don'ts to your toolkit for emotional survival. As you navigate family gatherings or festive events, let this be a reminder ?..… you are in control!

So here's to thriving amidst toxicity, revelling in the things that bring you joy and crafting relationships that both honour and respect your well-being.

?

Happy holidays and may your journey be filled with strength, growth and moments of genuine happiness.

Remember too: Always do your best to live in kindness.

If you are looking for Life Balance and/or want to actively deal with Burnout, DM me on LinkedIn or Instagram @JacquieBranagan.

Take Care Everyone!

?Jacquie ????

?

#burnoutcoach #gettingyourmojoback #lifecoach #realpower?? #resilience #eduformation

Marvin Reid WENDY SHORE Rosano Dimple Dang