Survival Stories from the Front Line: How to Stay Sane & Healthy in a Legal Career

Big Law is the toughest professional environment I’ve witnessed, and the data reflects my experience.?

In the USA, lawyers are twice as likely as other adults to contemplate suicide. Coming in just after cancer and heart disease, suicide is the third-leading cause of death among attorneys; the rate of death by suicide for lawyers is six times the suicide rate for the general population.?

I suspect the data is similar everywhere and I’ve certainly seen this play out in the UK and the US.?

I’ve listened to hours of tragic stories of Lawyers who died at their desks after heart failure, induced by sleep deprivation, and colleagues who died by suicide.? Maybe this explains why newly qualified lawyers use firm’s suicide rates as a primary factor in choosing who to work for.?

But I’ve also seen plenty of examples of individuals and teams who have carved out sustainable and healthy ways of working. It is possible – even within magic circle firms.?

This article sets out the unique challenges of the legal sector and offers practical advice for those in it.? If you, or someone you care about is a stressed-out lawyer, this article offers hope and practical advice.?

Why are Legal Careers so Dangerous??

The stresses associated with law – especially in private practice - can be uniquely detrimental to mental well-being. Complex, often high stakes cases, alongside the pressure of high volumes of work, delegated by multiple people, create long hours, tight deadlines, and conflicting and often, arduous tasks.??

The team cultures of top law firms often feel cold, competitive and uncaring with people feeling under so much pressure that the basics of human connection get lost. The problem is worse for newly formed teams who don’t have a bond of shared experience.? If the project team doesn’t even know each other’s names, what are the chances of them offering meaningful support to each other??

The profession attracts overachievers, graduating from the most competitive and prestigious law schools. Lawyers are known for high drive, which in my experience is often fuelled by early conditioning to ‘reach your full potential’ and be the ‘best of the best’.????

Drive can be a real strength, but when combined with a belief that the only way to get ahead is excessive hours, it creates risk. The criteria for career success are rarely explicit in law, which leads to confusion and dangerous mis-reads of how to get ahead. Too often, lawyers falsely believe that stamina and responsiveness are prized above all else, driving a need to continuously work at an unrelenting pace and an inability to say ‘no’.??

It's a common misconception that only weaker performers become overwhelmed. In fact, the opposite is true. High performers are at a high risk of overwhelm.? Their natural desire to perform and their highly developed sense of accountability can drive unhelpful behaviours of over committing and overworking.???        

Unsurprisingly, these extreme environments are full of self-medication. In many team cultures within law firms, alcohol and drug abuse are highly normalised. I’ve heard firsthand how many lawyers rely on a range of (both prescribed and illegal) uppers to overcome exhaustion, combined with sleeping pills to enable rest when it finally comes. Lawyers have very high rates of diagnosed depression and anxiety, and I’m convinced that what’s diagnosed is only the tip of the iceberg.

According to the American Psychological Association, lawyers are 3.6 times more likely to suffer from depression than the general population. In the USA, its estimated that up to 70% of disciplinary proceedings and malpractice claims against attorneys involve substance abuse or depression or both. ?

Without the right intervention overwhelm can lead to burnout, with horrible outcomes for the people and families affected. And as with any behaviour, a sense of overwhelm is contagious between people and across teams.? We all pick up on stress around us.? If we don’t have the self-awareness to notice this and the tools to course correct, we will naturally take on some of this stress ourselves. We all need to practice and build resilience to stay on track.???

In a culture where signs of overwork go unchecked and people lack the tools to combat it, we quickly slip into overwhelm.? This becomes a self-fuelling spiral negatively impacting our performance, creativity and ultimately our wellbeing.?

But it’s not just individuals who are harmed by overwhelm and stress. In our experience of coaching over 500 leaders, overwhelm is the most common cause of other culture problems - such as lack of collaboration or innovation, low accountability, inability to have challenging conversations and resistance to change.? Unless we tackle the root cause of overwhelm, we see these other challenges emerge over time with catastrophic results for the firm.??

This seems very depressing, and it is for those individuals and teams stuck in the cycle of overwhelm.? But we don’t have to accept the downward spiral. There is so much we can all do to take care of ourselves and build resilience. The great news is this is something we can all learn, once we have the self-awareness to spot early warning signs and the tools to course-correct.?

Practical tips for individuals stuck in a spiral of Overwhelm?

1. Stop trying to solve it all alone?

I’ve witnessed toxic masculinity firsthand in many law firms.? In many legal teams, there are pervasive beliefs that overwhelm is an indicator of weakness, so everyone pretends they are OK. When someone breaks down, it’s treated as an unusual, individual event, rather than part of a systemic problem.?

In that environment, it’s very tempting to keep private about our own battles with overwhelm.??

No judgement from me – I spent my 20s doing this exact thing.? I would have found it easier to talk about my sex life with my seniors than to admit I had a problem with work-related stress!?

But when I started to open up, I realised that in doing so, I was helping everyone else too.? When we’re stressed, we ALL box ourselves into the myth of ‘I have to figure it out for myself’. So, one way to disrupt the overwhelm cycle is to find an ally to share it with.?

It’s essential to collaborate and seek support.??We can’t undo deeply engrained behaviours without help.? Seek guidance from a professional coach or therapist, a mentor, or a senior. Discuss workload concerns and explore potential solutions together.??

2. Learn how to communicate workload and create clarity on priorities?

No-one else understands your workload like you do. When seniors and partners allocate work, they rarely have time to fully assess what’s involved or how long it will take.?

And there are probably several different seniors throwing work at you. Inevitably, there will be peak periods when the demands exceed the working hours you have available to you.? That is not about you failing – it’s a fact you need to use to work out what matters most. The best lawyers know how to manage these peaks without assuming that the answer is always longer hours or faster pace.?

It’s essential for you to learn to calmly communicate what you’re working on and what capacity you have – or don’t. It takes courage and skill – but the earlier in your law career you build those, the more successful you will be.?

Use tools to provide transparency on priorities and reinforce alignment.?Something as simple as a whiteboard above your desk showing all the key deadlines can be transformative.? Regularly review goals and priorities, adjusting as needed. Flexibility is essential in adapting to changing circumstances.???

Learn to Say No (well).??We must understand our limits and commit to realistic goals based on a small number of clear priorities. That’s only possible with the skills to say no well. We all need to be practised in politely declining tasks when necessary and to support each other in having positive if challenging conversations over priorities.??

Talk about the need to say a positive no to seniors in some situations.? If you’re a senior yourself, make sure all those who make requests of your team truly understand the consequences of lighting new fires.???

3. Challenge your underlying belief that excessive hours = good outcomes?

No doubt, there will be times when long hours are needed.? But where is the line between genuine, critical need vs bad habits.? Ironically, tiredness itself leads to long hours – so if we’re not careful we can end up in a doom loop of working long hours whilst being very unproductive. A critical talent for survival in law is learning to be discerning about hours.? When a client emails ‘urgent’ on a Sunday morning it’s tempting to throw out our plans and work all day.? But the most successful lawyers will stop and consider - Is this really a genuine fire, or can it wait until Monday????

As a client of top law firms, I did not want to work with the lawyer who hadn’t slept in the past 48 hours. Excellent outcomes come from people who are fully functioning – and you’re kidding yourself if you believe you can think critically when you’re stressed or exhausted.?

There is always more opportunity than a stressed person can see, to establish clear boundaries between work and personal life. Define specific work hours and stop overcommitting to tasks which means you feel compelled to extend those hours.? This requires courage, careful attention and role modelling as well as robust debate about what happens in a genuine emergency situation.?

4. Take recovery time at every possible opportunity?

After a sprint, the need for sleep and full recovery are non-negotiable.???

It’s not the stress that kills us, it’s the lack of recovery.??

The stories that saddened me most from young lawyers are those of presenteeism; hanging around the office for long days, wasting time, because there’s not much going on in a quiet week and they’re reluctant to suggest cutting early.?

The lawyers I’ve witnessed who are most successful and healthy know how to grab every possibly opportunity for recovery. In the relatively quiet days after a big deadline, they will not be hanging around the office, politely waiting for permission to go to the gym or leave early.? They just do it.???

Similarly, don’t wait for permission to go home after an all-nighter.? Take charge of getting your physical needs met, like your life depends on it.? Your life does depend on it.?

Take short breaks throughout the day to move and to recharge. Short breaks boost productivity and alleviate stress – and are essential protection against long term health conditions caused by endless sitting and prolonged times of concentration.?

5. Pay Attention to Your State?

Its critical to learn to constantly check in with ourselves and notice what we need. Small amounts of stress hormone in our bloodstream can be useful – too much becomes de-railing. Recognising when we’re no longer functioning well sounds simple, but in fact requires excellent self-awareness.???

What are the signs that you’ve crossed the line into overwhelm?? We’re all different in this, so you need to get to know your own symptoms.?

When stress levels rise, our body is primed for speed. Very helpful if we need to run or fight. Much less so if we’re sitting still, trying to solve a complex legal problem. Going faster is unlikely to help.??

A really useful way of reminding ourselves NOT to speed up under stress is the STOP model – I had this on my screensaver for a full year to help me embed this powerful approach.?

Using STOP acronym I’m reminded, when starting to feel stressed, to STOP – to move away from my laptop, take a walk, or work somewhere new. Even just a few moments of movement away from my desk is a powerful stress circuit breaker. However intense and crazy the firefighting feels, take a break.???

After S for Stop, the T of this model is for Take Stock.

Check in with yourself and be curious about what’s going on and what you need.? Simply noticing our physical needs can have a profound impact on the quality of our thinking.? And if I can possibly go for a walk and call a friend, I’m so much better set up for the next challenge.?

The O of STOP is for Organise.?

This can be the silver bullet in resilience. Why?? Because when we’re under pressure, we’ll tell ourselves that there’s no time to plan and organise. This is a risky approach, because holding too much in our heads (as opposed to a prioritised list) creates stress.? Instead, declutter your mind and take control. Write a list or mind-map, prioritise your work, block out diary time for key deadlines.??

A stressed mind often struggles to discriminate between ‘urgent’ and ‘important’ and distorts our perspective,? often directing us towards ‘urgent’ items that may be unimportant.? Take a step back - prioritise on importance rather than urgency.? This simple step will help restore your sanity.?

The P of STOP is for Praise yourself.??

Cynical lawyer, I know it does NOT come naturally to us to praise ourselves. But the way we speak to ourselves is critically important. Learning to do it positively might just save your life.? Remind yourself of your strengths, your wisdom and your resilience.?

All of us with high drive tend to over focus on the work that is incomplete, and quickly forget the mountains already climbed.? When we pause to recognise what we’ve already achieved, it changes our mindset.? Self-praise gives us strength and enables us to rise to the challenge ahead.?

STOP is co-authored by executive coach and wonderful resilience expert Fiona Gilkes ?

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6. Learn to Delegate?

A common feature in stressed out teams is weak delegation.?In the short term, it can take more time to delegate than to do something ourselves, so we fall into the vicious cycle of under delegating.? Think creatively about all tasks that could possibly be picked up by someone else, and how it might elevate or stretch them to get involved. Investing time in thoughtful delegation creates a calmer future.????

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Thanks for reading?

?I hope this has been useful to you. Do let me know what you think, and if you have further questions, I’d be delighted to hear from you.?

There is so much that firms can do to help people change their relationship with work.?? I've seen teams - yes, even in magic circle firms - who have cracked the code on how to make work manageable. When we create the right culture, it saves lives AND hugely enhances performance.?

?We’re planning a free webinar on how to create resilient team cultures in law firms.??

DM me or comment here if you’d like me to add your name to the invite list.? ?

About the Authors??

Nkuzi Change is led by three founders, Martin, Elise and Kate, based in UK & Europe. Elise is former CMO at Thomson Reuters where she led several major transformation programmes. Martin has led a number of turnarounds, building and re-shaping and businesses in the technology and service sectors. Kate has been coaching executives since 2005, partnering with hundreds of leaders in some of the world’s most respected organisations. This includes hundreds in top law firms, over almost 2 decades, in Washington DC and London.???

Between us, we have; Over 60 years’ experience of leadership in big companies – having worked within 30+ respected global companies. Over 15 years operating at C-suite level in global FTSE 500 companies, driving commercial success and transformational change. Expertise in transformational change, leadership development, behaviour change and in technology and systems.???

Over the past 3 years we’ve studied leadership and culture up close.? We’ve run over 20 scaled Leadership Programmes with 7 different, large, global B2B businesses.? We’ve worked with more than 500 Leaders in those businesses. We’ve spent 3000+ hours in confidential conversations with these leaders on how to lead successful change.???

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Follow Kate on LinkedIn for more of practical guidance on leadership and culture.?

?Sources?

Mauney, The Lawyers’ Epidemic: Depression, Suicide and Substance Abuse, available at [https://perma.cc/7S9F-MQDA]?

Coming Out in the Classroom: Law Professors, Law Students and Depression, Journal of Legal Education: Brian S. Clarke; available at; https://www.jstor.org/stable/24716683?

Stressed, lonely, overworked: What new study tells us about lawyers suicide risk, Jenna Green: Reuters: https://www.reuters.com/legal/litigation/stressed-lonely-overworked-what-new-study-tells-us-about-lawyer-suicide-risk-2023-02-15/?

New study on lawyer well-being reveals serious concerns for legal profession; American Bar Association: https://www.americanbar.org/news/abanews/publications/youraba/2017/december-2017/secrecy-and-fear-of-stigma-among-the-barriers-to-lawyer-well-bei/?

Stress and overwork linked to lawyers’ suicidal thoughts, study says, Karen Sloan; Reuters: https://www.reuters.com/legal/litigation/stress-overwork-linked-lawyers-suicidal-thoughts-study-says-2023-02-13/?

6 Law Student Mental Health Statistics; Clio: https://www.clio.com/blog/law-student-mental-health-statistics/?

Pinsent Masons seeks ‘lasting change’ after inquest into partner’s death sparks mental health debate; The Global Legal Post: https://www.globallegalpost.com/news/pinsent-masons-seeks-lasting-change-after-inquest-into-partners-death-sparks-mental-health-debate-198771279?

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