The Survival Guide

Last week I talked about my shocking reaction to losing my job. This week, I'd like to dive into the mindset shift needed during unemployment.

Trust me, I get it. Unemployment sucks. You might be terrified, scared, angry, depressed, anxious...

The journey of employment will be full of ups and downs but in the process, it is important to remain grounded and to exercise mindfulness;

to take good care of your mind, body, and soul.

Before I dive into strategies to keep yourself sane, I invite you to tune in with yourself.

Take a minute as you read this to just sit and be...

Slow down your brain and focus on this current moment...

We are going to do a brief grounding exercise called the 5-4-3-2-1 and I've mixed it in with 4-7-8 breathing.

I strongly encourage you to follow along.

Take as long as you need...

There is no rush! :)

What are 5 things you can see around you?

Notice the small details, the space around it, the space it takes up, how big or small it is compared to the space it sits in. Maybe there are specks of dust or the light hits it differently than other objects around it. Notice each detail.

Acknowledge any thoughts that may arise and let it go.

Focus back on the object.

Take a 4 second inhale. Hold for 7 seconds. Exhale for 8 seconds.

Focus on the now and bring your mind back to the current moment.

Take a deep breath in. Exhale.

Repeat with 4 other things.

What are 4 things you can touch around you?

Notice the sensation on each of your fingers. How much pressure are you applying to each of your fingers? Notice the texture felt by each finger and the temperature on each finger. Notice how the rest of your body feels. Relax any tension you may feel along the way.

Take a deep breath.

Inhale for 4 seconds. Hold for 7 seconds. Exhale for 8 seconds.

Focus back to the current moment.

Take a final deep breath in. Exhale.

Repeat with 3 other things.

What are 3 things you can hear around you?

Perhaps it is your breathing. Notice how loud or quiet it is to other sounds around you. Are there any sensations you haven't felt prior? Maybe your gut is dancing in circles. Acknowledge it and focus back to the present moment. You are safe.

Take a deep breath.

Inhale for 4 seconds. Hold for 7 seconds. Exhale for 8 seconds.

Focus back to the current moment.

Take a final deep breath in. Exhale.

Repeat with 2 other things.

What are 2 things you can smell around you?

Maybe this is the smell of your hand cream or your t-shirt. Notice how the scent and air enters into your nose. Where do you feel the scent enter into your body. Is there a heaviness? Lightness?

Take a deep breath.

Inhale for 4 seconds. Hold for 7 seconds. Exhale for 8 seconds.

Focus back to the current moment.

Take a final deep breath in. Exhale.

Repeat.

What is 1 thing you can taste around you?

Maybe this is a piece of gum you have on you. Notice the texture and flavour with each bite. Notice how each bite affects the texture and flavour and how it sits in your mouth.

Maybe this a sip of water. Notice the temperature of it. Notice how it feels against your tongue, cheeks, and the roof of your mouth. How does it feel going down your throat and into your stomach?

Take a deep breath.

Inhale for 4 seconds. Hold for 7 seconds. Exhale for 8 seconds.

Focus back to the current moment.

Now take a final deep breath in.

Exhale. :)

How did that feel?...

Take a moment for yourself to just be.

Appreciate that you are a miracle.

No, really. Take the moment in.

The fact that you are born is a miracle!

You are a 1 in 400,000,000,000,000 chance.

You! Yes, YOU!

You are a gift and remember, your job does not define your inherent worth and value.

You are valuable and you have a great gift to offer to the world.

When you are ready, let's continue. :)

You will be ok...

....and this too, shall pass.

Check in with your body.

Do you notice any tension, tightness, pain?

Be present and remember each cell in your body is fighting for its life to keep you alive.

Thank all of the cells and remember...

....you are not alone.

Mindset. Mindset. Mindset.

I have been listening, watching, and reading a LOT about businesses and entrepreneurship over the past few months and there is ALWAYS 1 thing that people commonly talk about before even starting: mindset. This is in complete alignment with all the psychology, self-help, and spiritual content I have consumed well over the past decade so it is a universally agreed upon, factual statement - not some concept or idea or fluff or some woowoo spiritual ideology.

You don't have to believe me but I do encourage you to at least be open-minded enough to give it a try for the next year.

It will change your life.

The secret is to hold a more positive mindset and to remain open and curious to changing yourself, constantly - your thoughts, actions, beliefs, and reactions towards situations and circumstances outside of you. Kindness is the best medicine, regardless of how others act, react, and behave. Also, do not be the "No" to yourself, stay consistent with your "How".

I have experienced multiple mindset shifts over the past decade to get to where I am at- mentally, physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually - and there is without a shadow of a doubt on how important it is as you embrace new chapters of your life. Each challenge you face will cost you your current self. To get to where you want to be, you have to shift all 5 aspects and it will be an extremely uncomfortable process. There will be tears and sometimes it will cost you your friends, family, and other factors you may not have even fathomed... but, you will be ok.

Life happens for you, not to you. The faster you understand this, the faster you will come out of any situation you feel stuck in.

If you need help with this, DM me, I am accepting 1:1 clients!

Structure & Routines

Now that we got mindset out of the way, we can work on tangible things to get you out of the mud.

You most likely worked a 9-5 if you are reading this which means you had some sort of structure and routine in your life. Now that you are out of it, you will need to build new structures and routines to ground you. When we have a planned and structured routine, it is much easier to ride out the waves of our emotions, especially with how terrifying it can be (even more so if you are alone and lack a support system - which I will get to discussing). Here are absolute non-negotiables that I strongly encourage you to incorporate into your life:

I strongly encourage watching this episode with After Skool ft. Andrew Huberman: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gR_f-iwUGY4

1. Exercise: It can be walking, running, swimming, lifting. IT DOES NOT MATTER. The key is to dedicate at least 30 minutes daily to being active because health is wealth and we all need a health dopamine rush (Do not fall prey to cheap dopamine <ie. 7 deadly sins>).
2. Sun: Within an hour of waking up, go outside for at least 5-10 minutes of sun. I like to incorporate a morning walk and get my exercise out of the way so I don't have any excuses for myself. In colder months where we get less sun, we want to be out longer.
3. Sleep: We all have a natural sleep/ wake cycle so make sure you are getting enough. I know I need about 8 hours to be at my peak performance so I do my best to aim for that. Find your optimal and make it a non-negotiable.
4. Chunking: If you are similar to me, I love keeping myself busy and end up taking on a bit more than I can handle. Instead, focus on breaking tasks down to daily/weekly goals. The goal is to ensure you are accomplishing ALL that you set out to do in the day so you feel accomplished and build momentum. This will motivate you to tackle the days and it builds self-reliance, confidence, resilience, and trust. You do not have to be at 100% daily but consistency is key.
5. Time Blocks: If you value more structure, set out time blocks for each task. This will give you a realistic expectation of how your days will pan out and makes it easier to accomplish each and every task you set out to do.
6. Down Time: Complete non-negotiable for me, personally, because of how much I work and take on. If you find yourself having too much enjoyment time and not enough productivity, ignore this point. The key is balance.
7. Planning: You have to know your end goal. Once you know (in this case, I am assuming a job in X field for X sort of company), you can plan. This may include building out a specific kind of resume, writing tailored cover letters, and building out skills to keep you successful in your field (if you need help, let me know). I used to love planning a month in advance but now I just plan for the next day. I find that keeps me the most relevant for reaching my own end goal. Learn your best structure/ approach and stay adaptable.

The plan in action

This is an example of how your day may look. Obviously, take and use what resonates, leave the rest. This is meant to serve as a sample for how your day may look like.

5:30AM: Wake up and ready ready

5:45AM: Walk.

7AM: Make coffee and tackle most urgent task on my to do list

1PM: Lunch.

2PM: Walk.

2:30PM: Work.

6PM: Plan for next day.

6:30PM: Shut down screens.

7PM: Down time

10PM: Sleep

Support: The Spice of Life

The reason why I left support out of the list and made it its whole entire section should speak volumes to how important I believe this is. Not just in the unemployment process, but in life. We are social creatures and we require people in our life to be healthy. Too much alone time will kill you (literally), but too much time with people will also hinder your growth so learn to balance out both.

There is ZERO shame in reaching out to your support network to ask for help in mental, emotional, and physical support during hardships in your life. However, remember that at some point in time, you have to help yourself and stop relying on other people. The key? BALANCE.

If you lack people in your life that can support you, do not fret, I got you covered! Here are some places for you to start. By no means is this a definitive list but it is a good place to start:

1. Community Groups/Forums: There are a ton of forums and groups out there on the internet. When I was going through some personal grievances, I was able to find a support circle for other women going through loss. Find a community that resonates with you most. This doesn't have to be just pertaining to unemployment but it can be something you really enjoy or just a personal circumstance outside of work that you cannot seem to get over.
2. Local Library/ Community Center: I spent the past few days digging into my local library and its resources and I was BLOWN AWAY with how much help they have there to help build skills and the resources to help in various different areas.
3. Event Hosting Sites: There are literally always events going on. I do not drink or party but I love networking events with other super driven individuals and even I am doing my best as an introvert to get out and meet more like-minded people in the right spaces to help me grow and expand. If you can't find one, create one! It can be a fun learning experience and you'll make some really cool friends along the way.

Regardless of where you are in the unemployment journey, remember that you are never alone and that this is not a reflection of you. The best you can do is pick yourself up off the ground, learn new skills or sharpen existing ones so that when the right opportunities come, you are ready!

You got this! :)