Surround Yourself With Success

In 1908, an impoverished young journalist was interviewing the wealthy industrialist, Andrew Carnegie. During the interview, Carnegie revealed that his formula of personal achievement was responsible not only for his great wealth, but for the wealth of all who learned this secret. 

Carnegie was so impressed with the young journalist that he commissioned him to interview the successful men of the day, and then share their common denominators of success with the world. The journalist would receive no pay for his efforts, and Carnegie agreed only to provide letters of reference so the journalist could gain access to these well-known men.

For the next 20 years, the young journalist sat across from hundreds of well-known men—people like John D. Rockefeller, Thomas Edison, Alexander Graham Bell, George Eastman, William Wrigley Jr., and Henry Ford—who had benefited financially and otherwise from the application of Mr. Carnegie’s secret.

The journalist was Napoleon Hill, and the book documenting those interviews is Think and Grow Rich. Since it was published in 1937, millions of copies have been sold. The book remains one of the all-time bestsellers in its field.

Hill’s book, one of the most influential books of all time in the area of success and personal achievement, was a direct result of the people he associated with. In fact, there’s no way Hill would have learned the principles outlined in his book without surrounding himself with the wealthiest men of that era.

So much of my success – in every area of life – has occurred because I have sought out people who have achieved a significant level of success, and modeled their behavior to create my own success. I have also paid very close attention to unsuccessful people and behaviors, and tried hard to avoid making the mistakes that caused their misfortune.

This strategy can be applied to every area of life. For example, if you want to learn strategies for a long-lasting marriage, then speak with couples who have been married for 30, or 40, or 50 years. If you want to avoid common mistakes in a marriage, then talk with people who have been through a divorce (or two, or three).

The same is true of financial success, or fitness, or business. If you’re trying to become a top salesperson, for example, then you’ll want to learn from and model the very best salespeople, rather than someone who is barely getting by. While this isn’t “rocket science,” it amazes me how few people incorporate this into various areas of their lives.

The great business philosopher, Jim Rohn, provides simple but powerful insight on how to evaluate who you’re around. In assessing the effect that your relationships have on your success, Rohn says you must ask yourself three questions: Who are the people in your life? What effect are these people having on your life? And the big question: Is that okay?

The first question is easy enough to answer. Examine the people around you—your family, friends, acquaintances and the people with whom you work. Who are you around?

Secondly, what effect are they having on you? What are you doing when you’re with these folks? What activities are you engaged in? What do you talk about? What do you think about? 

The last question is the big one. The moment of truth. The final assessment. Is that okay?

When looking at whether or not it’s okay, here’s the benchmark I use: Is this person supporting and expanding my ability to create the desired results in my life? Is he or she helping me to realize my full potential and live the life of my dreams? For some people in our lives, the answer is clearly “yes”. But if you’re not sure, then it’s time to take a closer look at these relationships. 

Your initial impression might be there are no undesirable relationships in your life. But the fact of the matter is, for some people the only thing standing between them and success is a new set of friends! The world is full of “dream stealers”—people whose purpose in life is to tell you all the reasons your idea won’t work, or why your goal is unrealistic, or that your chosen path is too risky.

The sooner you eliminate these destructive relationships, the better. If it is not possible, or too awkward, to discontinue the relationship, then at least minimize it. Rather than going out to lunch every day with your energy-draining, pessimistic colleague, restrict your contact to business matters only. If you finally realize the negative effect your friend or a relative is having on you, then reduce your contact with him or her. Don’t be mean, and don’t reject them as people. Just move away from them. 

Begin today to walk side-by-side with the successful people in your career field or area of interest. You’ll be amazed by the difference it will make in your life!