Surrender to what you can't control

This morning, I glanced out of the familiar oval window with my seatbelt securely fastened and my tray table locked and in the upright?position.?

The Hudson River was to my left, and the rising sun was to my right.

For Rich and me, airplanes are - as expected - a means of transportation like automobiles. We are the working person’s version of a Jet-setter.

Rather than lounging on beaches at our destinations, we find ourselves in meeting rooms facilitating our coaching over our laptops.

Work and play blend as we deepen relationships over the communal experiences of sharing food. Jet-setting forces you to notice things. This morning, my noticing led me to look at how I organize myself when we travel.

I have a new personal stretch goal of minimizing the “things and stuff” that get packed up, unpacked, and repacked numerous times and hauled onto planes to far-flung destinations. I am becoming more conscious of how deeply engrained consumerism is in the spirit and psyche of myself and my fellow countrymen and what a gigantic illusion of control the buy-it-to-fix-it mentality provides.?Purchasing all the “things and stuff” money can buy cannot protect you from the unexpected.?

And, as you know, although I’ve been sober for many years, I recognize my tendency towards addiction is still there - and at this point, it is manifesting in my electronic chords obsession/collection. The mere possibility that I could be separated from the dopamine hit of checking my phone while waiting in line to escape the moment, whatever that moment looks like, compels me to carry several charging chords.

Our phones are our lifelines for business, personal, and financial information. When your travel day extends over 14 hours and a minimum of two countries, the anxiety around preparedness speaks to practicality.

And it speaks to a desire to maintain the illusion of control. Each trip requires a minute-by-minute adjustment of expectations vs reality. Thankfully, before we left Paris, I had read on message boards that Charles Du Gaulle airport security systems were “slow and repetitious”. The rumors were true. (Word up, give yourself time for the capriciousness of not only the “rules” but how the rules are interpreted, airport by airport, country by country, and agent by agent). ? When we checked into the hotel, we asked about the shuttle bus to the airport, which was five minutes away. The shuttle bus, as promised, departed on the half hour starting at 4:00 AM. Not mentioned (or perhaps not known to the kind person who checked us into the hotel) was there was construction taking place at the airport that required the shuttle driver to apologize for the fact that our trek to baggage check-in would cost us an extra 15 minutes,? The philosophy of all 12-step programs has an underlying principle of accepting the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

There is a comfort in accepting how out of control life is.

Allow yourself to be amused by the “out of control” world we live in and surrender to what you can't control.

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