The Surrender Experiment: Does This Apply To Entrepreneurs?

The definition of surrender is to Cease Resistance.

While many academic papers and articles debate whether entrepreneurs are born or made, the one thing they all have in common is that they run companies. The classic entrepreneur starts with an idea and then works to bring that idea to fruition. We think of Elon Musk, Steve Jobs, Edison, Julie Wainwright, and Oprah as these visionary entrepreneurs. There are other types of entrepreneurs, including those who buy a business rather than start a business from scratch.

Over the years, I have started companies, bought companies, and invested in private equity. For me, the defining quality of an entrepreneur is that they have enough skin in the game that if the company fails, it will hurt financially and reputationally. So, when someone calls themselves an entrepreneur with a small stake in a company, it does not hold up to the authentic definition. Many sacrifices go with being an entrepreneur.

Entrepreneurs tend to be optimistic; otherwise, what idiot would risk everything and start a business? They are usually future-focused, strategic thinkers, tenacious, and perhaps a bit na?ve (but that is another discussion). Building a successful company usually requires detailed planning and an overall understanding of marketing, finance, and legal, on top of a focus area of expertise they have commercialized.

I can only speak for myself, but the journey of being an entrepreneur has had many ups and downs. It has been equally rewarding and challenging. While working for ourselves might appear attractive, it is not for the light-hearted. Not only is our personal and financial well-being at risk, but we can never really turn it off. As I interact with other entrepreneurs, they all feel the same way: the world’s weight is on their shoulders, and it can be a lonely game. Turning the brain off at 5 pm is wishful thinking at best.

Business owners plan, strategize, and set goals. Typically, a cadence of setting goals and objectives runs monthly, quarterly, yearly, three years, five years, and some as bold as ten years. However, from a personal perspective, my five-year plan has never actually turned out like I predicted. Looking back, it is ironic that we plan for five years in the first place. Today, three years seems like a stretch. I prefer one-year plans, but that topic is another newsletter.

At the same time, entrepreneurs suffer a high degree of stress. As much as I pride myself on taking most things in stride and managing the challenges, those close to me, if completely honest, would say that I function at a high-stress level. Begrudgingly, I have to agree. So, a few years ago, I set out on a journey to find a way to manage everything on my plate and reduce my stress with the ultimate goal of having a sense of calm, even when things don’t go the way I want. My mission has not yet been accomplished. ?I have read many books and engaged in naturopathic remedies, brain mapping, infrared saunas, meditation ceremony circles, etc. Wow, the list is exhausting. While these all have slowly moved me one step closer, I am still not surrendering or “flowing in stride” the way I would like.

Back to the topic at hand, surrendering means trusting and ceasing resistance to what is in front of us. So when something shows up that is either wholly expected or unexpected, we surrender, meaning we accept it with open arms. Just let it flow. It's easier said than done, for sure.

Lifeline Road Mapping

Have you ever completed a lifeline road map where you plot the significant events in your life on a line? You put what you consider the positive ones above the line and what you perceive as negative below the line. Then, you take a step back and observe. It is incredible how you can see the connections. I.e. if I had not gone through that horrible divorce, then I would not have started Fairway Divorce, which has helped over 6500 couples divorce a better way. So, as much as that divorce was horrible (way below the line), it brought me to the above-line outcome of a business. It is a worthwhile exercise, especially if you need help connecting the dots of your life's events. The other thing I realized when I observed my past lifeline was that most significant, meaningful events were either entirely out of my control or so profound that I had to take action. Control is such an illusion, and I want to learn to give it up by following the practice of surrendering. I could learn to love that.

Surrendering does not mean that you stop planning or start taking psychedelics and let it all go, but it does mean that you do the work and then just let the world unfold without judgment.

The Surrender Experiment

A fellow female entrepreneur recently recommended the Surrender Experient, written by Michael Singer. You might remember him as the bestselling author of The Untethered Soul. The surrender experiment is his journey as a man living in the woods committed to meditating twice daily. He became a best-selling author and widely successful entrepreneur. He did what we all do: planned, worked hard, and connected with the right people. He decided to relinquish his fears and desires and let life unfold. His ability to maintain a sense of ease and enjoyment as his life unfolds in ways he would have never predicted or planned for is incredibly inspiring. Micheal's ability to relinquish control and surrender is awe-inspiring – a real lesson for us entrepreneurs.

Most entrepreneurs profess to be "Type A," so just surrendering to almost anything contradicts the personality type. As I do my research and learn about the path less stressful – I wonder what the past would have looked like if I had lived entirely by the surrender approach – that when things show up or don't show up – that is what was meant to be and all I needed to do was just go with the flow.? I wonder?

I will not spend too much time debating the past with myself as that never gets me anywhere, but I want to know what the next phase of my entrepreneurial career would look like if I surrendered. I will need help either through increasing my meditation practices or connecting with other like-minded souls to achieve the calm that I desire.

To Sum it Up…

Good decisions are made when we let go of trying to control everything. While it may be almost impossible to surrender like Michael Singer did, trusting that putting a hard day's work in and adequately planning to build our businesses and then surrendering to the outcomes just might create a more fulfilling path. Looking to meditation and stress-reducing practices may help us surrender. Either way, the one thing entrepreneurs have in common is that we all want to be happy and see our companies succeed, so if we can find a way to do that with more ease and less stress, that makes good sense.

Recommended Reading:

The Surrender Experiment

By Michael A. Singer