The Surprising Truth About The Unspoken Side of Success

A client and I were chatting about the changes we’ve managed in their business in the last six months.? The changes have been significant and are putting the business in a position to scale exponentially over the next few years.

We’ve worked on cash flow and profitability, increasing sales, diversifying revenue, documenting processes, and establishing workflows while involving the whole team.? If it sounds a bit like orchestrating a symphony or herding cats, that would be because it is.??

It’s a lot of change. And change can be uncomfortable. As I do with all of our clients, I encouraged this client to take stock at least once a quarter and celebrate their wins.? I want them to acknowledge the good work. It’s a practice that feeds the brain and the soul, providing your subconscious with the fuel to keep going.

As the conversation continued, our client paused and let out a deep sigh. “You know what no one talks about?? As your business becomes more successful, people you thought were your friends and supporters change. It’s like it is the unspoken cost of success.”

Oh, that.? Yes. It is an unspoken side to success and a deeply personal one. It is the side where the people around you can change.? Not all people around will change. Those who love and support you and genuinely want the best for you will always be your cheerleaders.? That’s good because you need their support.

Unfortunately, some people will shift to negativity in their behavior, attitude, and treatment towards you.? The sudden shifts from these people in your life can have you staring at them as if you just watched them morph from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde.

Why have they turned on you so fervently?? While your business has changed, who you are has likely changed as well. You’ve started to look at things differently and worked on your mindset and belief in the possibilities; the kicker is, it is working.

You’ve probably changed some habits.? Perhaps you used to complain about life over a glass of wine with a neighbor. Now, you are going for a walk and talking about everything you are excited about in your business and life.

The nature of what you are talking about is changing.? Instead of worrying about things, you are talking about taking risks and bringing more change into your life.? While you still have some nervousness about it, you also have more hope.

As you’ve seen more positive changes in your business and life, you have been working diligently to keep a positive mindset. You indirectly encourage others to go on the journey with you because it feels good.? You want to share it with others.

Here is where the unspoken side of success pops in. Only some people in your sphere are as happy about the changes as you are.? In our work with entrepreneurs, we’ve witnessed 5 adverse reactions to change and success from others:?

1. You’ve changed; they haven’t.? They behave the way they always have - you didn’t notice their behavior before because it was normal.? Now that your routine has changed, your perspective has changed.
2. They are terrified of change.? Fear keeps many people playing small.? And your change ignites their fear.? From their perspective, they are trying to save you because you’ve embraced change.
3. They are changing because you are changing. It makes them feel weird and out of control.? Change is a choice they didn’t make, and it is making them angry.
4. They are grief-eaters and energy-leaches.? Have you ever had a colleague who wasn’t happy if they weren’t complaining or sharing how they have been victimized during that day? After being around them, you feel worse, not better? When you stop feeding their subconscious needs, they feel starved, ignored, and betrayed—typically lashing out at you.
5. They seemed nice, but in reality, are mean bullies who masked themselves previously. They come out swinging because of their past hurts, traumas, and disappointments when your success flourishes. They can’t handle you winning because they feel like they are failing.

It’s hard to go through this because we trust the people in our lives. When we’ve faced judgment, harsh words, and exclusion for people who have been long-standing in our life, it hurts.? When it is family, it is even more tragic.

Depending on the scale of the interaction, it can devastatingly knock you off track if you allow it to.

Jim Rohn is credited with saying, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Another anonymous quote shares this view, “show me your friends, and I'll show you your future.”

Is it that our relationships define our success, or does our success define our relationships?

I’d answer yes.? It is both.

There is value in developing relationships with people that are where you want to be. These people can support you in ways you could never imagine.? There are people with whom you’ll need to redefine your relationship because they are in your children’s circle or they are family whom you don’t want to cut out of your life, but their access needs to be controlled.

Then there are the relationships that you’ll need to let go of entirely.? You’ll mourn them, but you’ve outgrown them.? If this is the case, remember this isn’t the first time in your life that this has happened.? From elementary school to high school, your friends changed.? From high school into adulthood, again, they changed.? Sometimes geography and stage of life shift the relationship - it just happens.? It is difficult now because you’ve intentionally let go of a relationship that is no longer good for you.

This happens in every aspect of your business and life when you are taking things to the next level.? It happens with friends, employees, vendors, and clients.? We use the phrase “what got you here won’t get you there” to discuss the parts of the past you’ve outgrown.??

Typically, these things you have outgrown silently and pervasively hold you back, especially when it comes to people.

Is success good? Absolutely!

Do we want success? YES!

Does success make us better? Almost Always.

Is there an unspoken side to success? Unfortunately, also yes.? There are hard, emotional, and necessary parts of the transformation.??

The good news is that we are here to support you through it! We can help guide you through some tough conversations and will willingly listen to your concerns in a judge-free environment.? We believe in you, your dreams and that everything that defines success for you is possible.

If you are looking to create more predictable profits so you can grow and scale without burnout, let’s chat. Feel free to send me a DM or find time on my calendar so that we can make it happen.