A Surprising Tool When Living Through Tough Times

“Mr. Bufe, what do I do when I am facing something overwhelming]?”

“What do I do when I’m being pressured to do something I know is wrong?”

I got questions like this when I was teaching middle and high school in Shanghai China.

But it’s as much a question for you and me as it was for them, don’t you think?

So, I wanted to share my answer with you here in case you have the same questions.?

At the time, I was reading Way of the Seal, by former Navy SEAL commander Mark Divine.

One of the activities in his book was a complete game changer for me because it helped me navigate some of the most challenging experiences of my life, both in China and when I came home to America.

Here’s how you, too, can start taking a stand with the inner & outer forces that can blow you off course in your pursuit of becoming all of what you are meant to become…

Divine told his readers to discern what their moral stances were.?

“Developing a “stand” statement as part of a personal ethos builds a foundation that supports our day-to-day activities and helps us move toward our purpose in life,” says the former SEAL.

Where is your line in the sand, the boundaries you keep when things get tough, or when people try to convince you to do things you know will disintegrate your integrity?

Back in Shanghai, after a lot of soul-searching,? I found the stances that meant the most to me.??

I felt so strongly about them, that I even framed them as needs.

Here are a few of them:

• I need Authenticity
• I need Challenge and transformation.
• I need opportunities for Mindfulness & Radical Acceptance
• I need Authentic Teamwork & Community
• I need Balance and/or rhythm in how I manage my personal-professional life.

Then, write them out and keep them where you can see them or return to them whenever you’re challenged with a personal or professional problem to deal with.?

Whenever I found myself in overwhelming life situations

—and you get quite a few when you are living in a different culture, or coming home to culture-shock–

I would take out these stances in order to figure out who I am, what I need, who I serve, and what next to do.

When all hell was breaking loose, and I was in dire need of stability and direction, came to my stances first.??

Sometimes, I even took a day of retreat from the world.?

I always came out of those sessions with a decisive path to push forward that enabled me to reveal my best-ever self.

And when I would give this activity to a few students in China, I started seeing changes in and out of the classroom.

The exercise also gave one student the clarity and confidence as the time approached for them to start a new life living & studying in America.

This was no small feat, I can tell you from my own experience as an expat!

The process of figuring out where you will stand when things get tough takes effort and insight on your part.

Divine declares, “Knowing where you stand in life requires a deep reflection on what principles you believe in and are willing to live by, so that your actions reflect your stand. This takes courage and discipline.”

Absolutely!? But it’s much easier when you have figured out ethical positions for yourself and others ahead of time.

Understand:?

Where is your line in the sand, the boundaries you keep when things get tough, or when people try to convince you to do things you know will disintegrate your integrity?

If you don’t stand for something you’ll fall for anything.

Does that make sense to you??

Let me know in the comments below:

What other questions about developing mental toughness and a resilient mindset] would you like me to answer?