The Surprising Power of "Winging It".

When was the last time you were anxious before entering into a high-stakes situation???

Perhaps it was an all-hands meeting where you were about to speak to hundreds of people. Or it might have been a one-on-one meeting, such as a sales call with a prospect, a negotiation with a customer, or a feedback discussion with a problematic colleague.

Given the mind's tendency to fight, flee, or freeze in the face of anxiety, how you choose to approach these situations can become habitual.??

For instance, let's say you spend the day overpreparing and worrying about what to say in tomorrow's meeting and make it through unscathed.??

If you continue to operate from a place of apprehension in advance, you are teaching your mind that if you were not to overthink it and instead be carefree, relaxed, and take it as it comes, the outcome would be a disaster.??

But is this true?

What if you started gathering more evidence that you can be successful with less preparation and worry? What would that do for you on a personal and professional level?

Now I don't mean doing anything irresponsible or uncharacteristic of the quality and integrity you hold in your work and interactions with others.??

This isn't a recommendation to arrive at a customer meeting without knowing anything about them. And I'm not suggesting taking the stage in front of a thousand people and making up your speech on the spot.?

But rather than obsessing about the outcome and overpreparing to avoid any opposition, what if you showed up and trusted your innate capacity to respond to whatever comes up?

That you could take the burden off of yourself of having to know everything and proving that you do to everyone, all while worrying about the decisions they will make about you afterward.?

In other words, why not "wing it" every now and then???

When I coach executives, we recognize that there is a genuine concern, not just of getting something wrong but also of not being prepared for any potential question that comes up about it.?

And I get it; a lot of money, jobs, and reputations are on the line for these leaders and their customers, boards, investors, and other stakeholders.??

But consider two truths:

The first truth is that it's impossible to be 100% prepared for any question that comes up from anyone, ever.

We never want to let a customer down or embarrass ourselves in front of senior leaders by not knowing the answer to their questions. But at some point, you're better off preparing for how to respond when you know and when you don't know something, rather than trying to anticipate everything that may come to their mind.?

Not doing so sets you up for an unwinnable game and minimizes your leadership stance because it teaches others to keep putting you on the defensive. And as you hurry to please others, you will, in turn, expect your team to chase the whims placed on you, making you less of a steady and inspiring leader of your team.?

The second truth is that you don't need to know everything to be effective in any situation.?

In executive coaching, we call this "learning agility," and?many studies?have proven its significant correlation with leadership success, promotions, and even compensation. In a nutshell, learning agility is "knowing what to do when you don't know what to do."??

By trusting your intuition and experiences and being able to exhibit effective interpersonal behaviors at the moment, like showing curiosity, being less defensive, and staying present to the interaction, you can not only survive the situation but offer even more value than they or you expected.?

Interested in bringing more joy and less worry to your career and business?

Maybe it's time you practiced the art of "winging it" a bit, if only to teach your mind that success is possible without always having to overthink and overprepare. Here are some tips to consider.

Mindset

When you prepare just enough to be present at the moment, you allow yourself to be more available to the audience around you.

Try to stop living in your head, thinking about what you should say, what they are wondering, and what this means for your future.

When you stop over preparing and start settling into the present moment, the result is more memorable and inviting of more robust engagement, rather than a forced, judgmental interaction like everybody else who is anxious around you.??

One of my favorite authors, Michael Neill, teaches these concepts around taking the concern about outcomes down and trusting more in your innate intelligence to excel no matter what happens.

He calls this "Inside-Out" thinking. And he uses the?compelling analogy?of a sailboat to illustrate his point. He writes:

"We know that if we aim our boat in roughly the direction we want to go and unfurl our sails, the wind will arrive to take us where we want to go.?

"There's not much value in paddling while we wait for the wind, and there's no value at all in trying to blow into the sails ourselves.

"In the same way, all we ever need do is show up to the moment, aim ourselves in a direction, and "unfurl our sails" by making ourselves as available as we can."

When you make the mindset shift from thinking success is a result of worrying enough to prepare; to know success comes from doing just enough and then being at ease no matter what, you may experience a significant improvement in both work and life.?

Motivation

Part of making this mindset shift is to give yourself more evidence that success is possible with less worrying about perfection and more "winging it."?

So start looking for that evidence by practicing in low-risk situations first and observing the outcomes both in how people act in response and how you feel inside.?

Your mission isn't to magically become more agile and less worried; it's simply to start unlearning the habits that are personal to you by proving to yourself that new habits are both worthy of creating, and not detrimental to your current life.??

To shift deeply-held beliefs you have because they have been so closely correlated with your success so far, you want to invite opportunities to challenge that thinking. You want to be available to newer ways to have more of what you want and need while still operating effectively in the eyes of those that matter to you.?

Communication

There is a common observation about the difference between introverts and extroverts: introverts tend to think before they speak; then they speak, and right after, they immediately think about what they just said.?

Extroverts do the opposite: they speak before they think, then they think, and right after, they speak about what they were just thinking.?

Both process information and interactions differently between their inner world and their communication with the outer world.?

So if you're prone to over-worry, depending on your preferences, you may find yourself being extra quiet when mulling over what to say or thinking about what you said; or you might be extra talkative as a way of coping.?

To get into the habit of being more at ease and in the moment, consider trying the opposite style and seeing if you can get comfortable with it at times.??

For instance, I'm someone who tends to be more of a listener and less of a talker, so I can get stuck in my head when worry sets in, which people see in the form of me being quiet. So I've started to test out opportunities to jump into the conversation more, share a bit more about my thinking, and recognize that people can't read my mind.??

Conversely, I was working with a client that tends to talk as a way of thinking. She was in a high-stakes situation where she tended to overtalk out of anxiety.?

In that case, I encouraged her to practice taking more pauses, try to let silence happen, and practice sitting with it, and in the meantime, pay attention to her breathing and her body to be more present.??

We also suggested she silently repeat in her mind what she was hearing. Doing this helped her use the energy she usually spent talking while staying connected to the other person.

When you practice speaking a bit more or speaking a bit less depending on your comfort zone, of course, it feels strange. But it's no more complicated than writing with your opposite hand.

You don't have to change yourself completely; you're just learning to be more agile. And agility is the antidote to uncertainty and over-worry, not more preparation for perfection.?

Nihar Chhaya is a leadership expert and executive coach to CEOs, startup founders, and senior leaders at global companies, including American Airlines, Cigna, Coca-Cola, Cox Enterprises, Draft Kings, Lockheed Martin, Raytheon Technologies, Wieden + Kennedy, and many more.?

For coaching or speaking inquiries, visit www.partnerexec.com.

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