The surprising power and fragility of humility

Over the years I have come to discover the power and fragility of humility.

I didn't start my career with humility. I started it with some confidence that grew into pride, but humility isn't a word I would use to describe my approach to work.

I cringle to recall a conversation many years ago with a person on my team. He suggested the use of a different software but I held firmly to my stance. So firmly in fact that we ended up in quite a loud argument in which I rejected all of his points. There was strong logic behind my decision. And, looking back, I might still make the same decision.

But the interaction was devastating and the results was disastrous. To this day, it hurts to share this story.

Unfortunately, this prideful approach extended to all areas of life. Friendships suffered, family relations broke down, and personal growth halted.

Enter humility

Then, the most amazing thing started to happen. During conversations, I began to hear insights or ideas from others that were ... well ... good!

And to top it off, these were ideas that I had never considered before!

How did they come up with that? How brilliant!

The more this happened, the more I made space for hearing the ideas of others. This lead to a shift in what I valued. I began to value the different perspectives that others brought to the table. What an eye-opening and life-changing experience.

The process

As I began to embrace an attitude of humility, in which I prioritized the insights, thoughts, ideas and success of others over myself, I experienced a surprising sense of confidence and influence.

You see, it wasn't just that I listened to others. I genuinely developed a heart for others and desired their success. It was a whole-heart transformation.

I suddenly found myself giving credit to everyone who played a part in a project instead of taking all the credit as the leader. Before making decisions, I considered if someone might have insight that would help in the decision-making process. When others come up with issues, I worked with them to find a solution.

It was both liberating and empowering at the same time.

The result

I was able to successfully lead my team through countless organization changes, process revisions, staff reductions and seasons of growth. We struggled together - not against each other - to find the best solutions for every challenge we faced. We became a team!

The fragility

Am I now perfect? No. Because with success comes the risk of pride jumping back into play.

It reminds me of a story I once heard about a small church that decided to have a vote on the humblest person in the congregation. After the vote, Ms. Sally Smith was awarded the "Most Humble" position and given a bright, shiny button to show her accomplishment. The next week the congregation recanted and took back the button because she wore it to church.

And just like that, pride can jump in and take over.

Staying humble is a daily activity. I'm always on the watchout for times of slippage. For me, that typically comes in a form of complaints about others, dogmatic statements that leave no room for discussion or shutting others down before they complete their thoughts.

The daily effort is worth the reward. Humility can bring peace and power to your lives and your teams faster than any other force I know.

I’d love to hear your experiences and thoughts about humility in the workplace!