The Surprising Benefits of Celebrating Loved Ones “Just Because”

This week’s post is a rework of something I wrote 15 years ago, when our daughter Abigail was just a teenager. I thought it was an appropriate topic because she recently shared some wonderful news—she and her husband Tyler are expecting their first child in March! As you might expect, Jane and I are over the moon with excitement about becoming grandparents. I hope the article encourages you to celebrate loved ones in a similar manner.

As someone who teaches the art and science of ethical influence, I often talk about how persuasion isn’t just for professional success; it can lead to more personal happiness. When we learn what triggers a “Yes!” response, we can shape our communication to make it easier to connect with others. Whether you're managing a team or raising kids, the principles of influence—unity, reciprocity, and consistency—can make personal relationships flourish.

Today, I want to share something that’s been a tradition in our family for nearly three decades: a “Special Day” for our daughter, Abigail. This isn’t about birthdays or holidays. It’s an ordinary day that her mom and I make extraordinary for Abigail. We do it simply because we love her.

The Power of Recognition and Love

Many of us are familiar with Mother's Day and Father's Day, but what about a day just for your kids? A day where you take the time to remind them how special they are. We started Abigail’s Special Day when she was very young. The idea was simple—pick a random day, surprise her in the morning with breakfast in bed, a few gifts, and then spend the rest of the day doing the things she loves. When she was little, it was McDonald’s for lunch and a Disney movie. As she grew older, it shifted to horseback riding, trips to the mall, or a visit to her favorite restaurant.

The best part? It doesn’t have to be extravagant. The joy comes from the surprise and the thoughtfulness behind it. Abigail has mentioned many times that she enjoys her Special Day as much as Christmas or her birthday!

Why It Works: The Principles of Ethical Influence

The reason this simple gesture is so powerful lies in a few key principles of influence that I often discuss in my books and workshops:

1. Unity: People, especially children, respond positively when they feel loved, deeply connected, and appreciated. Showing that you care in small but thoughtful ways deepens the bond of unity and makes communication smoother in the long run.
2. Reciprocity: When you go out of your way to make someone feel special, they naturally feel compelled to give back in some way—whether it’s through kind behavior, hard work, or even just being more open to your guidance.
3. Consistency: By creating a tradition like a Special Day, you reinforce a consistent message of love and care. This consistency builds trust and security, especially important for kids as they navigate life’s challenges.
4. Surprise and Delight: One of the most influential things you can do is to surprise someone in a positive way. This amplifies the power of giving. When you do the unexpected, it sticks in their memory and strengthens the emotional connection.

The Impact on Self-Esteem

Another benefit of a Special Day is how it boosts self-esteem. Children, especially teenagers, often struggle to find their identity apart from peers. A tradition like this gives them a sense of uniqueness, reminding them that they are loved for who they are, not just on special occasions like birthdays, but every day. It helps them stand a little taller and face life’s pressures with a sense of security.

How You Can Apply It

Don’t have kids? No problem. This idea doesn’t have to stop with children. You can apply the same concept with employees, friends, or loved ones. As a leader, recognizing someone on a random day just because they’re doing a great job can work wonders for morale and loyalty. Imagine how an employee would feel if you took them out to lunch or gave them a small gift simply because you appreciate their hard work—not because it’s a company milestone or their work anniversary.

It’s these little, unexpected acts that build deeper connections, enhance loyalty, and yes—make influence more natural when it matters.

A Simple Gesture Makes a Big Difference

As I reflected on how we celebrated Abigail’s Special Day over the years, it struck me again just how impactful this tradition has been. At the end of the day, her hug and heartfelt "thank you" were worth far more than the modest gifts or activities we planned. The returns from this small effort are huge, both emotionally and relationally. It’s not about the grand gestures, but the thought behind them.

So, here’s my challenge to you: Think about how you can create a “Special Day” for someone in your life. It doesn’t have to be expensive or complicated. It just has to come from the heart. Whether it’s your kids, partner, or colleagues, take a moment to remind them they are valued—just because. You’ll be amazed at how this simple act strengthens your bond and, as a bonus, makes influence in your relationships effortless.

Let’s hear your ideas! How do you make people feel special in your life? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Edited with ChatGPT

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE ?and a faculty member at the?Cialdini Institute . An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results.

As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book,?Influence PEOPLE , was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority.?Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents ?was an Amazon new release bestseller.?The Influencer , is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s?LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 750,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk ?on pre-suasion has more than a million views!